Not Dreaming
by Hallon
Summary: A lonely night, a bridge and a swan...and oh so much more. Future Literati.
1. Prologue The Bridge

**Not Dreaming**

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**Summary:** A lonely night, a bridge and a swan...and oh so much more. Future Literati.

**A/N:** This could probably be considered a continuation from 6x08, but in an AU sort of way. It is an experiment to see who is right. Me or someone else. It's the first story I've written in about six years that has both a beginning and an end. So, just to see if it totally sucks I'm putting it up here.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gilmore Girls.

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**Prologue****. The Bridge**

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As she once again sat down on the bridge she could almost feel him sitting down beside her. His touch on her arm, his breath on her neck as he kissed her softly. His arms snaking around her waist as he enveloped her in a tight embrace. She looked down into the water and for a second she thought she saw his reflection next to hers. His unruly dark hair, the smirk playing on his lips and the playful glint in his eyes lingered in her mind for a second.

She sighed and closed her eyes for a second. That was why she had come here in the first place, to feel his presence. It was always strong here, had always been, ever since the picnic when he brought her here for the first time. A smile played at her lips at the memory of that day, so long ago.

She looked out over the water and couldn't hold back a small laugh as she saw a swan gracefully swimming at the far end of the lake. She remembered the look in his eyes as he finally told her the truth about his black eye. A mix of relief, guilt and embarrassment that swiftly turned into indignation as she had broken her promise not to laugh. She blushed slightly at the memory of the following events that night.

She sighed again as her mind returned to the present. She wished she didn't feel so lonely sitting there, wished he sat beside her.

The sun was setting and it covered everything in a soft red glow. She looked on, awed by the beauty of the place. She felt a tear roll down her cheek and silently cursed herself for being so silly. He had left less than two days ago and already she was turning into an emotional wreck.

She used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe the tears away as her eyes once again found the swan. It was closer now. "Is this how it's going to be?" she asked the swan and laughed softly at herself for expecting an answer.

She let her mind wander again and found herself thinking of the last time he had showed up completely out of the blue and once again turned her world upside down. She had been stunned for a moment and a bit startled at how happy she was to see him. It had after all been over a year since they last saw each other and she hadn't expected to ever see him again after how things ended then. But there he was, looking better than ever, and she had felt her heart jump involuntary.

She had been so proud of him when he had showed her the reason for his visit. And she had been curiously excited about spending the next night with him. She had wanted to find out everything about his new life.

Things hadn't exactly gone well that night, starting with Logan showing up. She shuddered at the memory of what expired during dinner.

He had left early that night with a 'happy birthday', half a promise to catch up later and a sad smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. But only after questioning her whole life at the moment. She had been overwhelmed, but at the same time relieved that someone finally shook her out of whatever funk she had been in for so long.

Later had proved to be a lot earlier than she expected as he showed up at Luke's for Thanksgiving. He had looked stunned to see her sitting at the counter, happily sipping coffee with Lorelai as if she had never left. But he had quickly recovered and flashed her a smile that made her knees weak.

That had only lead to surprise number two that day, namely Lorelai rushing up from her stool and giving him a hug. Before he could decide how to respond she had seemed to realize what she was doing and let go of him. "This never happened", she told him and returned to her former position, ignoring the stares from the other occupants of the diner.

Looking out over the now dark lake she laughed as she once again saw his shocked expression. That had been the beginning to them reviving their friendship and eventually their relationship. It had taken a while and there had been more than a few bumps in the road, but it had definitely been worth it.

Her eyes once again found the swan. It was even closer now, almost by the bridge, a white shadow in a fast darkening world. She felt oddly comforted by its presence; it somehow made her feel less alone.

Despite that, she once again felt tears forming in her eyes and she sighed to herself. This was supposed to be a happy trip and now she had spent the majority of the past two days alone on the bridge trying not to cry. She had avoided the townspeople as much as possible and hardly even talked to her mom.

Five days earlier she had run around their apartment, driving him crazy trying to remember everything she would need on the trip. He had finally agreed to come with her to Stars Hollow for a vacation and she had been ecstatic and started packing at once. He had watched as she alternated between picking up, tossing away, crossing out and at times packing random things in suitcases. And he had done so with an amused smirk on his face, a smirk that grew wider the more frantic she became until she couldn't take it anymore. She had stopped right in front of him and demanded that he either wiped the smirk away or helped her pack. He had opted for pulling her close to him and kissing her softly. She hadn't needed a lot of persuasion to forget the packing for the reminder of the night.

And now she was here alone after all. Granted, it was not by choice, but that didn't make her feel less lonely. It was strange how used she had been to always have him around whenever she needed him. And now he was god knows where on a business trip. She had trouble holding back a smirk of her own at the thought of him going on a business trip. The concept still felt odd to her. But it didn't change the fact that he wasn't there with her.

And it didn't change the fact that she hadn't been able to tell him the news before he left. She had wanted to tell him as soon as she found out, but she didn't want to do it in a hurry. So she had opted to wait until he came back. He shouldn't be gone more than four days, five at the most. But now, as she sat here, her only company a silent swan, she started to regret her decision. She wanted him to know and be happy with her.

And he would be happy, she knew that. At that thought her face brightened instantly and a soft smile graced her features. She got lost in her thoughts and sat there smiling softly as the sun finally went down and the darkness enveloped her. She didn't hear the footsteps approaching or feel the bridge tremor softly as someone walked over to her.

He approached the bridge silently, trying not to disturb her. He stood in the shadows and watched her for a minute before continuing on his way. She looked happy sitting there with a smile playing on her lips and a far away look in her eyes. He wondered briefly what she was thinking about, but smiled at the thought that he would probably find out soon.

He continued on his way and soon found himself standing right behind her. She had yet to notice him and he smiled to himself as he slowly sat down behind her, leaned in and snaked his arms around her.

Her mind was suddenly thrown back to reality as she felt someone sit down behind her. It took her half a second to realize who it was and then she felt his arms wrap around her. She sighed contentedly and let herself lean back against him

"Hey beautiful, miss me?" he whispered in her ear and she shivered at the sensation of his breath on her neck.

"I'm not dreaming again, am I?" she asked him, a hint of worry in her voice.

He kissed her neck lightly and got a soft moan in response. "I couldn't stay away," he told her as he moved his way up to her ear.

"Good, 'cause we really missed you," she told him and moved his hands to her stomach. She held her breath and waited for his reaction.

At first it didn't seem like he had heard her, but then she felt him tense. He inhaled sharply and then relaxed a bit again. "Are you… You mean… Are we…?" he stammered, not able to get the crucial part of the sentence out.

She turned her head to look at him and smiled brightly at the goofy grin that had taken over his face. "Yes," she simply told him and reached up to kiss him on the cheek. She turned back to the lake, closed her eyes and snuggled further into his chest again.

He wrapped one of his arms tightly around her and rested his other hand on her stomach, rubbing his thumb lightly over it. He kissed the top of her head and let out a breath. He looked out over the lake and spotted the swan not far away.

"I love you," he told her softly and watched the swan swim away as she reached up a hand and lightly tangled her fingers in the dark curls at his neck.


	2. Chapter 1 Thanksgiving Hugs

**Not Dreaming**

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**A/N:** This was never supposed to be more than a short story. But apparently some people wanted to know more. So, here is a second part of it. Thanks to all of you who reviewed, you know who you are.

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**Chapter 1****. Thanksgiving Hugs**

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Last time they spoke on the phone Luke had asked him if he planned on coming up over Thanksgiving. He had gotten an invitation from Liz a couple days earlier, but hadn't been planning on coming. Not that he had that much against his mother; they were actually pretty good at the moment. But he just couldn't stand T.J. and he wasn't sure if he was up for going back to Stars Hollow again. He was well aware of how popular he was in the small town and dealing with its inhabitants wasn't exactly his idea of a good time.

It was the slightly hopeful tone he picked up in Luke's voice that made him give in. He didn't want to disappoint Luke and that's how he found himself driving into his personal version of hell on a beautiful autumn afternoon. To be honest he didn't really hate the town, but it made him uneasy to think about everything he'd done wrong while staying there. He wished he could somehow change the past. But wishing never solved anything before, so instead he took a deep breath as he drove past the welcoming sign and into town, mentally preparing himself for what was to come.

It was now two days ago he walked into the diner, shocking everyone in the room. After his entrance and Lorelai's impulsive hug there had been a moment of silence before everyone started talking at once. They discussed the meaning of his visit, speculated about the reasons behind Lorelai hugging him and tried, without much success, to hide their glances as they waited for Rory's reaction. Some of the patrons decided to spread the word around town and left the diner in a hurry, no doubt in search for Miss Patty or Babette.

The person responsible for the turmoil in the first place soon recovered from the shock of Lorelai's behavior. He shook his head slightly, a small smirk lingering on his lips, and made his way up to the counter. He was greeted by Luke with yet another hug and a smirk that told him his uncle was happy to see him.

Meanwhile Rory had sat on her stool at the counter, coffee forgotten, trying to sort her feelings out. She hadn't expected him to turn up in her life quite this soon after his last departure. Sure he had told her they'd catch up sometime, but she was definitely not counting on him coming to Stars Hollow of all places. When the initial shock had passed a feeling of happiness settled over her. And then he smiled at her, that amazing smile she had only seen a handful times in the past and that always made her melt. At that moment it felt like she was back in high school, a feeling she wasn't quite ready for. Her mother hugging him had only managed to increase her confusion even more.

That afternoon, as she walked the well known road to Luke's, Rory had realized she felt free and really happy for the first time in months. She had finally talked to her mom after months of minimum contact. They had made up and started to patch up their relationship again. She had moved out of her grandparents place and back into her old room in the Crap Shack. It still felt a bit odd with Luke living there, not to mention Paul Anka. But she was getting used to it. She was still astonished that her mom had managed to find a dog that fit her so perfectly with all of its quirks and strange habits. And even stranger was that it was still alive.

She was even getting her motivation for writing back. For the first time since the fateful meeting with Mitchum Huntzberger she once again had faith in her dream and knew what she wanted to do. She was going back to Yale in the spring and she had already gotten a job at the _Stamford Eagle Gazette_. Lorelai would be proud of her for how she handled that situation.

Her only problem now was Logan. And he wasn't even a problem since he wasn't around to be one. She hadn't heard from him since their argument after Jess' departure from dinner two weeks ago. And she wasn't really sure what she would have done if he had been there. She was angry at him for how he acted that night and in the past weeks she had started questioning how well she actually knew him.

Then there was Jess. She was so proud of him; he finally got his life together and made something of himself. And not just anything. He wrote a book. She still felt giddy at the thought of it. And now here he was again, standing in front of her. She suddenly noticed he was looking at her and seemed to be waiting for something. Coming out of her daze she realized he must have said something to her. She'd been too caught up in her thoughts to notice and she felt her cheeks coloring the tiniest bit under his inquiring gaze.

"Hi Jess," she said and hoped no one would ask about her behavior.

The following two days they hadn't exchanged more than a few words. They had both been busy, Rory trying to figure out the remaining questions in her life and Jess was doing everything he could to avoid T.J., who seemed to turn up everywhere he went. After too many questions neither of them wanted to answer or knew the answers to for that matter they had both felt the need to escape the town and its inhabitants.

They were now sitting next to each other on the bridge, their bridge, looking out over the water. Neither seemed to know how to start and neither really wanted to break the comfortable silence. It felt so good just sitting there; it reminded them of how things had been in the beginning, before everything got so complicated. They continued to sit in silence, once in a while sneaking a glance at the person next to them. Finally Jess couldn't take the silence anymore and surprised Rory by being the first to talk.

"I'm sorry, for everything," he told her quietly, deciding to get it over with. He wasn't sure how to explain what he was sorry for, so instead he opted for letting her interpret his words. When she didn't respond he glanced over at her and was met by her blue eyes looking back at him.

"I know," she told him after what seemed like an eternity. She broke her gaze away from him, turning back to the water. "I should be thanking you, you know," she continued, surprising him in turn.

He watched her curiously, trying to interpret the look on her face to get a clue to what she was talking about when she didn't elaborate the statement. She seemed to be struggling with something, battling with herself over weather or not to continue.

"I read your book," she finally blurted out and looked a bit surprised as if that wasn't what she originally intended to say. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and saw the slightly amused look that lighted up his brown eyes. Looking a bit closer she could see he was trying hard not to show the eagerness and worry he felt as he waited for her to continue.

"Four times," she continued with a smile and almost laughed as he visibly relaxed beside her. "I even wrote in the margins," she confessed eliciting a laugh from him.

They didn't really resolve anything that night; they just talked about anything that came to mind. They were friends again, or at least on their way there, and that was the most important thing for the moment. All the bad memories and unresolved issues could wait a while longer.

The next day he went home again. She stood outside of Luke's and watched him drive out of town, but this time she didn't feel angry or hurt doing so. Instead she felt hopeful. They were friends again and she liked the sound of that. Right before he left he had scribbled down his address and phone number on a piece of paper and given it to her. "In case you'd want to reach me," he had told her as he held the note out to her. He'd still looked a bit uncertain, but she had smiled brightly at him and promised to call soon.

As he drove past the sign this time he smiled to himself. Things had gone a lot better than he had expected when he entered the town three days earlier. He had somehow managed to keep his encounters with T.J. to a minimum and hadn't been overcome with the urge to leave the town and never come back even once. Then again, he hadn't really expected to run into Rory during his stay. There had been a small hope in the back of his mind that she would be there, but after the last time he saw her he didn't want to get his hopes up. But she had been there and she had looked happy, like she knew what she was doing again.

He smiled again as he recalled Lorelai thanking him as she hugged him. Never in a million years had he thought he'd see the day Lorelai thanked him for something, and meaning it, not to mention hugging him.

With a smile still playing at his lips he turned the music up and continued driving through the night. Connecticut was soon behind him, followed by the lights of New York. _Gravity_ started playing as New Jersey changed to Pennsylvania and he began to see the end of this night's driving. He listened to the words, trying to decide if _Tool_ was better or not. In his mind he was already planning his next trip north. Christmas wasn't that far away and this year he was actually looking forward to it for a change.


	3. Chapter 2 Christmas Wishes

**Not Dreaming**

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**A/N:** This sort of just…became today, so don't expect it too be anything that great. And if it's not clear yet, the prologue is the 'future' and the chapters are what happened before that. Just clearing that up to avoid unnecessary confusion.

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**Chapter 2. Christmas Wishes**

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It was the weekend before Christmas and Rory was sitting at the counter in Luke's diner, casting nervous glances out the door every few seconds. What if he didn't come? Had she ruined things before they even started? She cast another hopeful glance at the street and sighed when he didn't magically appear. When she turned around again she was met by Luke's questioning gaze. He obviously knew something was up and had tried to find out what it was, but she had evaded the subject. She didn't want to tell him what had happened, in fact she didn't want to even think about it, but that just wasn't possible.

He had called her two weeks earlier and apparently he had picked up on something in her voice because he had wanted to know if everything was okay. And then he had asked if he could help her with whatever it was and that's when something inside of her had snapped.

"I don't want your help ever again," she had told him. "Just leave me alone, you've done plenty already."

She had regretted the words almost before they left her mouth, but before she could say something else she had heard his sharp intake of breath. "Okay then," he had said and she could hear the hurt in his voice, not masked well enough. With his next words all his walls were up. "Sorry if my concern offended you, don't worry, it won't happen again." And then the line went dead.

She had stood frozen in place for what seemed like an eternity after that, not really believing what had just happened. Why had she done that? How could she have been so stupid? He had been acting like the friend she hoped he was and she had taken out all of her frustrations on him without any reason what so ever. He didn't even have anything to do with her bad mood, he just happened to call at the worst possible time.

The day before, after three weeks of no contact at all Rory had run into Logan while paying a visit to Yale, to clear up some things about her return in the spring. Although 'run into' probably wasn't the right expression since he had turned around and pretended he didn't see her as soon as he had noticed her. She had stood in the hallway staring after him, trying to interpret the look on his face. Was it guilt? It could be, but she wasn't sure. The only thing she knew was that she didn't know what it meant. She wasn't even sure she wanted to know. She wasn't sure she was really that interested.

When she thought about it she didn't know when he had been on her mind the last time. Backtracking she realized it must have been two days ago. And then it was only because she had seen the bag he bought her lying in her closet.

As soon as that thought crossed her mind she started questioning herself. Wasn't she supposed to be thinking about her boyfriend? Shouldn't she wonder where he was, what he was doing, if he was okay, if he was thinking about her? Hadn't she told him she loved him not too long ago? Didn't that entitle some sort of interest in his whereabouts? Did she love him? Actually she wasn't that sure at the moment. Could she love someone she didn't really know?

Well, now she knew where he was. Or at least where he was 5 minutes ago. And he was obviously okay, at least physically. She had just seen him walk away from her, rather swiftly. What he was doing she wasn't so sure about or if he was thinking about her for that matter. Come to think of it, he would almost have to be thinking about her now; there was no way he couldn't be after disappearing like that.

She was brought out of her thoughts rather abruptly as someone slammed into her from behind. After regaining her footing and taking a last look at where Logan had disappeared she decided that Yale was more important at the moment. After the past three weeks Logan could wait another hour or so. With new resolve she continued on her way to the dean's office, determined to seek out Logan and sort out things between them once and for all when everything else was taken care of.

She had tracked him down that night. After her meeting with the dean she had gone over her feelings thoroughly and her conclusion had been that this couldn't possibly be love. During the last couple of weeks she had almost had to force herself to think of him and that couldn't be a good sign. Now she just had to decide what to do about it. Her conclusion had been that she needed to see him in order to make that decision.

When she found him he had been sitting in a bar in Hartford, happily chatting with two girls, one of whom was comfortably seated on his lap. And he had been drunk, not that that was anything new. For a moment she had just been standing there, watching him in disbelief. Then she had grown angry, at him for treating her like he did and at herself for actually believing he would change for her. And the small part of her that still wanted to be with him had finally disappeared. She had marched up to him, determined to end this obviously sorry excuse for a relationship.

"Did I miss the memo? Or did you just not bother telling me we broke up?" she asked him, anger lacing every word. Without giving him time to react she continued, "You know what, don't bother, I'll do it for you. We're over, have fun!" And with that she turned around and left the bar.

She had gone directly home, feeling numb, and evaded all of Lorelai's concerned questions. Drained from too much emotion she had slumped into bed. She hadn't slept that good though. The next day she had stayed at home, wallowing over yet another failed relationship. She wasn't really sure if she was wallowing over the fact that she had lost Logan or the fact that she didn't care more than she did. She had alternated between anger and crying for a couple hours when Jess had called.

At that moment the anger had pervaded. And that might just have ruined their new found friendship. After he hung up she had tried calling him several times, but he hadn't picked up. She had even tried calling from the diner, hoping he would answer calls from Luke. But he had never been there, or he just didn't answer the phone.

According to plan he should have been there 15 minutes ago and Rory was getting more and more frantic with every second. Luke had looked at her strangely when she had asked him if there had been any change in the plans, but assured her that he at least wasn't aware of anything. That eased her mind for about two seconds before she started worrying again. What if he had just decided not to tell Luke that he wasn't coming? And that took her back to the nervous glances out the door.

Another 15 minutes went by and now she was having problems sitting still. She had just thought of another thing to worry about. How would he react to her being in the diner when he arrived? She had no idea and she was a bit afraid to find out, afraid to see his expression, afraid of what it would tell her.

The next time she turned around she panicked. His car had just stopped in the street outside the diner. She didn't know what to do anymore, what she was doing here, how to act when he came in through that door. She was frozen in place, not able to breathe, no less move. Then the door opened and he stood in front of her. And all she could do was stare at him. There was no smile this time, only a guarded look in her direction before he was greeted by a happy Luke.

She saw them hug and then how he started turning towards the stares with a 'Hi' and one last glance at her and she couldn't take it anymore. She jumped off the stool, almost falling in the process, and hurried over to intercept him. Before he had a chance to react she was hugging him fiercely, not able to hold her tears back. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she sobbed over and over again into him and finally felt his arms around her, unsure at first, but tightening their hold after a few seconds.

He didn't know what to do when she threw her arms around him. That was definitely not the reaction he had expected from her. He wasn't sure what he had expected, but this was definitely not it. And then she started crying and mumbling something into his chest. At first he couldn't make out what she was saying, but then he caught something that sounded like 'sorry'. He slowly lifted his arms from his sides, dropping his bag in the process and held her to him. After a while, when she didn't seem to be thinking about letting go for quite some time, he tightened his hold of her and leaned his cheek against her head.

As they stood there he tried to make out the meaning of her sudden outburst. He assumed it had something to do with the phone call two weeks prior. After he had hung up the phone that day he had gone out of the apartment to get some air and cool off. He had thought they were starting to become friends again and definitely not been prepared for her flare-up. And he had certainly not been prepared for the feelings it evoked in him. He had tried and occasionally even managed to put his visit at Yale behind him, but suddenly he had been back there, feeling like he just lost everything. He didn't like that feeling, not at all. And he hadn't been sure he wanted to think about what it meant this time. It was too painful.

There had been 15 unanswered calls by the time he had gotten back home five hours later. Most of them from Rory, but there had also been three from Luke. At first he had been about to call him back, but thought better of it after realizing he would need at least one night's sleep to clear his head. He had therefore spent a sleepless night alternating between tossing and turning in his bed and pacing around the apartment. At five in the morning he had given up and tried to get some work done. It hadn't helped much and an hour later he had still been staring at the same page as when he started.

He had finally given up and called Luke at the diner, rightly assuming Luke would be there. He had been determined to find out if Luke knew what was up with Rory. He needed some kind of explanation for the way she acted and he hadn't been able to call her. After some awkward small talk that neither he nor Luke was very good at and some creeping around in the bushes he had finally just asked him.

As usual Luke hadn't known much, but apparently Lorelai had been at the diner getting massive amounts of coffee and grumbled something about 'Worthless rich scum' and dismemberment. And a couple hours later a crying Rory had stormed into the diner begging to use the phone in the apartment.

Obviously something had happened between Rory and Logan and somehow that had made him feel a lot better. There was at least a chance that her attack hadn't been totally serious, or completely about him. He still hadn't been able to make himself call her. Even though the phone call might not have had anything to do with him it still hurt. So he waited.

And now they were hugging in the diner. He wasn't really comfortable with the location, but he couldn't deny that it felt good to hold her. After a few minutes Rory seemed to have calmed down a bit. He lifted his head in search of Luke and found him standing behind the counter looking at them. He gestured upstairs and Luke nodded back. Beginning to entangle his arms from Rory he once again felt her hold of him tighten.

"Maybe we should get out of the diner," he suggested to her quietly, hoping she would agree. He was definitely growing uncomfortable standing there with people watching.

At the sound of his voice she jumped a little. She nodded, but didn't look up. He managed to loosen his hold on her and steered her towards the stairs, guiding her up to the apartment. Once inside he sat them down on the couch. Neither of them spoke, Rory too occupied gathering her thoughts and Jess not really sure what to say.

"I thought I'd lose you again," she finally started, breaking the silence. She spoke quietly, not sure if she wanted him to hear her, but at the same time needing to say it.

"You never really lost me," he told her.

She looked up at him at that, trying to decipher the meaning behind those words, but he sat looking down at his hands. "I was stupid and mean and you didn't deserve that. It had nothing to do with you in the first place. You just called on a really bad day and I couldn't handle it and…"

"I know," he told her, interrupting her rant and glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. "Luke kinda told me what happened, or at least his interpretation of Lorelai's grumblings," he explained when he saw her surprised look. "I'm sorry," he added quietly.

"I tried to call you, but you never picked up," she said, deciding to ignore the rest for the moment.

"I know," he repeated with a sigh, looking down again, avoiding her gaze.

"I wanted to apologize," she continued. "But I couldn't, because you never answered your phone. Why didn't you answer, you didn't even pick up when I called from here?"

"I went out," he answered. "I had to think."

"Why didn't you call me back?" she asked again. "If you knew I didn't mean it, why didn't you call me back?"

He sighed, raking his hand through his hair. "I couldn't," he said finally. "It was…" he trailed off, not really sure he wanted to continue.

"It was what?" She knew she should probably let it go, but she couldn't, she wanted to know.

He got up from the couch, walked over to the kitchen and leaned against the counter. Taking a deep breath he decided that this was as good a time as any to get everything out. He didn't really see a way out of it anyway. "It felt too much like my visit at Yale," he finally told her looking up to meet her gaze. "And I didn't know how to handle that."

"Oh," she managed. "I… I'm…" she started, but didn't know what to say.

"It's just…that's one experience I really wanted to just forget and then…this happened and I couldn't pretend I had forgotten it anymore. And I didn't think that talking to you at the moment was the best way to deal with it." He took a deep breath and went silent, not sure if it had been a good idea to bring that up after all.

"So you decided to just ignore me? Let me think you didn't want to have anything to do with me?" she asked, not sure why she was getting mad.

"No, of course not! I didn't want to make it worse and had I called you, that's exactly what would have happened." He was getting frustrated now. He was starting to regret trying to talk, it never worked.

"So that's your answer to every problem? Don't deal with them? Then they'll solve themselves? 'Cause that worked so well in the past." It all just became too much. There had been too much happening in the past weeks and she felt all the pent up emotions turn into anger.

"Don't you think I regret everything I did wrong? That I didn't deal with it then? Don't you think I've tried to think of a way to make up for that? But you know what? I can't! Whatever I do it won't change anything and it's never going to be enough. And I'm never going to be very good at dealing with that!"

He turned around, facing the wall and gripped the counter hard with both hands as if to steady himself. Suddenly he felt drained. He wasn't prepared for this talk, not at all; until just recently he hadn't actually believed it would ever happen. And now that it had it had proved to be just as painful as he thought it would.

She watched him from the couch, suddenly feeling all the anger seeping out of her. She wanted to keep shouting at him, but as she watched him she realized that maybe screaming at each other wasn't the way to go.

"I think I hated you for a while after you left," she said quietly. When he kept silent she continued. "I tried just shutting it out and it worked for a while. There were so many other things going on that kept my mind occupied. First there was Europe, then I started Yale and after a while I thought I'd left it all behind me. And then you came back and everything I'd tried to bury resurfaced and I didn't know how to deal with that, 'cause I had never really dealt with it before. And then you just left again, leaving me to try to sort everything out once more. Then, just as I had managed to get you out of my head again, you came back yet again. And I still had no idea how to handle it. You just…" She stopped, taking a breath, trying to decide how to end that sentence.

"I'm sorry," she heard him say just as she was going to speak again.

She glanced up at him. He still stood with his back to her and she saw how tense his shoulders were, saw his grip on the counter. Then he turned around and looked at her with a pained look in his eyes that he obviously wasn't trying to hide.

"I never meant to hurt you, you know," he said. "Everything just kind of happened and I didn't seem to have any control over it. And just so you know, that visit to Yale was definitely not supposed to go that way. I never meant to ask you to leave everything behind, but I didn't know what to say and everything went wrong again."

"I still ended up leaving," she said sadly, looking down at her hands. She felt tears starting to gather in her eyes again, but didn't bother wiping them away. A moment later she felt him beside her.

"But you're back again," he said and sat down beside her. He hesitated a moment before reaching out a hand and gently lifting her chin. "That's what's important, right?" he asked her with a small, trying smile.

She nodded and smiled back through her tears before hugging him again. It felt good being in his arms she noticed as he hugged her back. She had been too occupied crying the last time to really notice, but she definitely did now. And she found herself not wanting to let go.

They did let go when they heard someone walk up the stairs. The footsteps came closer and were followed by Luke appearing in the still open doorway. He gave them a questioning look, taking in their close proximity and the tears still apparent on Rory's face. After a few seconds without anyone talking he proceeded to carry Jess' bag over to his old bed. He grunted something about coming down to eat and left the apartment with one last wary glance.

They had talked some more after that, both trying to get the slightly uncomfortable feeling to disappear. After switching to the safe subject of books things settled down a bit. Rory went to freshen up and they went down to eat, the uncomfortable feeling almost gone.

The following days went by fast and soon it was the day before Christmas. They hadn't seen much of each other during the past week. Rory had started working at the _Eagle Gazette_ and been out last minute Christmas shopping with Lorelai and Jess had found himself once again working in the diner. He wasn't exactly sure how that happened, but he didn't complain too much. In the evenings they talked in the diner while Jess worked, or at least appeared to be working, and Rory drank lots of coffee.

"You never told me why you've been here this past week," Rory suddenly said, looking up from her coffee. She had wondered why he would be there the whole week before Christmas since he told her. From her knowledge this wasn't exactly his favorite place in the world.

"Um…I didn't?" he questioned. "Must have slipped my mind," he said with a smirk. The smirk grew into a smile when Rory glared at him. "Okay, okay, I'll tell you," he said, raising his hands as if to surrender. "I'm having my apartment repainted, and the thought of living in the work zone didn't sound that appealing," he said, shrugging a bit, but still smiling. "This was the most logical alternative."

He went to take an order before Rory had a chance to respond. She sat there smiling at the thought that it almost sounded like he wanted to be there. And that thought inevitably lead to her thinking that she really wanted him to be there. Things somehow seemed complete. She always loved Christmas, but this one would be even better and that was because of him.

Like the Christmas when they had just started dating. They had snuck away to the bridge to get a moment alone. And for a while everything had been perfect. They had exchanged gifts there. Books, what else? And they had sat beside each other, his arm around her, sharing a book and once in a while a kiss. Okay, there had been more than a few kisses. To be honest there had probably been more kissing than reading.

She blushed when she realized where her thoughts had drifted off to. She looked over at him and found him looking back at her with a smirk on his face. A smirk that once again turned into a smile when he saw her looking back at him and she thought that he actually looked happy. It's going to be a great Christmas she thought to herself as she smiled back.


	4. Chapter 3 January Visit

**Not Dreaming**

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**A/N:** And another chapter is up. Hope you like and thanks to everyone who reviewed.

* * *

**Chapter 3. ****January Visit**

* * *

He stood leaning against the wall, trying to act indifferent and not let on any of his inner turmoil. It was harder than he expected it to be. Once again he told himself that it was only a friend coming to visit. It didn't matter that it was the first time anyone except the guys at work had ever come to visit. Right? It didn't matter that it was definitely not one of the guys that was coming. Right? It definitely didn't matter that it was her. Right? Right! It still didn't work.

He had started that day as any other day by walking the four blocks to work, as usual thankful for managing to get an apartment so close to work. The first hour had gone by quickly and then he had started becoming more and more nervous. He couldn't concentrate and had finally asked for the rest of the day off. When the other guys had found out he was expecting a girl they quickly agreed, telling him to have fun, with various suggestions about what they thought would be fun.

He had ignored them, hurried out and all but run home. Then he had spent the next three hours cleaning the already spotless apartment. When he was finally convinced there wasn't anything more to do he had tried everything he could think of to get the time to pass.

He had tried reading, three different books, but he couldn't seem to concentrate. He had tried getting some work done, but he still couldn't concentrate. He had once again, for the fourth time, gone over the apartment to make sure it looked good enough. He had turned the TV on in hopes of finding something worth watching, but that hadn't worked either.

Suddenly he had seen something peeking out between two books in a bookshelf. A piece of paper of some sort. As he had pulled it out he had realized what it was; he hadn't even had to take it out to know. He had held that piece of paper too many times not to recognize it. A picture of her. He had pulled it out and looked at it for a moment before he went to find a better hiding spot for it. Tucked between two books wasn't really that good considering who would be there soon.

After looking at his watch again, for the fifth time in as many minutes, he had sighed and pulled a hand through his hair. Finally he had decided to leave the apartment and try walking for a while. If he went up to Fairmont Park he could make the walk take a lot longer than the needed 25 minutes. Decision made he had hurriedly pulled his shoes and a coat on and almost run down the stairs. That is until he had remembered there was no need to hurry. And that was the first time he had regretted getting an apartment in the center of town.

The walk had turned out to be a bit longer than he had intended and he had almost arrived late. He had found himself close to running the last 100 yards. And, for what time that day he didn't know, he had once again cursed himself for acting like an idiot. He had slowed down when he saw that the bus had yet to arrive. And then he had positioned himself against a wall a bit away from all the other people.

That was where he was at the moment. He had been standing there for an excruciating 15 minutes now, waiting for the bus that was obviously late. He felt himself tense as he suddenly saw it approaching. It pulled over and stopped and he found himself almost holding his breath.

And then, as if by magic, she appeared on the steps of the bus. He hadn't even noticed the other passengers. She looked beautiful. He stared at her for a moment and was close to raising his hand to wave before he caught himself. He had already acted like an idiot the whole afternoon, no need to make it worse. Instead he fought to turn the smile he had felt creeping onto his face as he saw her into his usual smirk. He was just in time before she saw him.

She stepped of the bus and looked around in the crowd. It felt good to stretch after the long bus ride. Even with the bus change in New York the five hour trip had made her stiff and a bit sore. At first she didn't see him, but then she remembered that big crowds had never been his favorite thing and looked a bit further away. And there he was, leaning against a wall with that ever present smirk on his face, looking at her. Although she thought she saw a glint of something in his eyes for just a moment.

She smiled at him and waved. He nodded in reply before pushing himself off the wall and walking towards her. The smirk was starting to turn into a smile and she felt her cheeks coloring slightly under his gaze. She looked down quickly to hide the blush and missed the amused look that appeared in his eyes. Then he suddenly stood beside her.

"Hi," she heard him say with something in his voice that she couldn't quite identify. Was it nervousness?

"Hi," she said back, looking up at him and couldn't stop the smile that crept onto her face.

"Um…do you have anything…" he half asked gesturing to the luggage compartments.

She nodded after a moment's confusion and they walked over to the compartment and started looking for her bag. She finally found it, lodged in the back. She sighed and was about to crawl in and retrieve it before she remembered that she wasn't alone this time. Straightening up again she turned to him with a sweet smile and pleading eyes. It worked.

"Which one?" he asked with a sigh, silently cursing himself for not being able to resist those eyes. He sighed again when he saw where she pointed, but climbed in. After rummaging around for a while he got the bag out and barely managed not to gasp as he put it down on the ground. "Geez, what's in this thing?" he asked, looking at her as he straightened out.

"Oh, just some clothes, shoes, books…" she said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Books?" he asked her incredulously, for the moment choosing to ignore the shoes. "You brought books? You do know there is a very good chance I have anything that's in there, right?"

"I always bring books, it's a habit," she said, avoiding his eyes. She knew he probably didn't entirely believe her, but she didn't want to tell the truth just yet.

"So, maybe we should get going?" he suggested, after a moment's thought deciding to drop the subject for the time being. "We should probably get rid of this," he said gesturing at the bag by his feet. "And I bet you're hungry," he continued with a knowing smile.

"Um…okay," she said a bit hesitantly. "I want to see where you live," she continued getting excited. "You haven't said a word about the place, I'm curious." Her smile had returned at this point and she was almost jumping in place.

"Okay then," he said, amused by her excitement. "It's about a mile and a half that way," he told her, pointing over his shoulder, and smiled as he watched her try to figure out what way that was. "We have three options as I see it. We could walk, although with your brick collection here it doesn't sound that appealing," he said, easily evading her try to swat him on the arm. "Or we could take the bus," he continued, but noticed the look on her face at the word bus. "Okay, maybe not the bus. That leaves a cab," he finished. "Although, at this time on a Friday that could take a while."

"Fine, we'll take the bus," she said. "But it better not take forever," she added as she waited for him to show her the way.

He smiled at her as he bent down and pulled the bag up to his shoulder. He slumped a bit under the weight at first, but soon straightened out and started walking in the direction of the city buses. They got on nr 9 and after a little under 15 minutes Jess stood up and once again shouldered the heavy bag. They stepped off the bus and Rory stopped to take in their surroundings. Before she could say anything she felt his hand on her arm, pulling her forward.

"This isn't getting any lighter, you know," he said and started walking up to the house they were standing in front of.

Amazed she followed him into the building and over to the elevator. They rode up to the 11th floor in silence, Rory still trying to get her mind over the fact that they were currently on their way up in a building in central Philadelphia. Did he actually live here? Just as she opened her mouth to say something the elevator stopped and Jess hurried out. She followed after a second and watched as he fished for the keys in his pocket.

He finally got the keys out, unlocked the door and opened it. He hurriedly let the bag drop to the floor and then turned to hold the door open for her. He watched her almost skip inside and had to smile at her excitement. Then, as she went through the small hallway and entered the living room, he held his breath, waiting for her reaction. He wasn't disappointed.

She hurried inside, almost missing the small hallway, and took two steps inside what she assumed was the living room. And there she stopped. It almost felt like walking into a library. Three of the walls were completely covered in books, floor to ceiling, all books. She was amazed to say the least.

"Breathe," she heard him say behind her, an amused tone in his voice and jumped, startled. She didn't know what to say, she just stood there for what felt like minutes, taking in everything.

"I love it," she finally squealed and managed to move from her spot. She walked up to one of the bookcases and dragged a hand over the spines of the books, reading the titles as she went over them. "How did you get all these books?" she asked, turning around and was met by his eyes. He was looking at her, clearly amused, and she smiled at him before turning back to the books.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he said, evading the question. "How long do you think you'll be occupied here?" he asked her then, moving towards a doorway she hadn't even noticed before. "I assume you want coffee," he added as he walked through.

"Of course," she said absently, still too occupied with the books to really pay attention. It was the smell that, five minutes later, brought her out of her reverie. Once she managed to tear her eyes away from the books she noticed there were a couch with a small table and a TV in the room too. And more shelves under the windows, full of CD's and movies.

* * *

Two hours later she had had enough coffee to make up for the lack of it on the bus ride. And she had gotten a tour of the rest of the apartment. She had seen the kitchen, fully equipped with a coffee machine and microwave oven and the bedroom that doubled as workplace and was full of even more books. They were now sitting on the couch in the living room finishing off the pizza they had ordered when she didn't want to move to get something to eat.

"How did you get this place?" she asked him suddenly, not able to hold the question in any more.

"Well, it sort of came with the job," he said. "One of the guys I work with used to live here and I crashed with him for a while when I first got here. But then he moved in with his girlfriend and I managed to talk him into letting me have the apartment. It's still officially his, but as long as he doesn't do something stupid that gets him thrown out it's mine."

"Let's hope he stays good then," she said, smiling at him and looking around the room again.

"I'll tell him you said that," he said. "Maybe that will make him try harder."

"You weren't kidding when you said you'd probably have anything I could think of bringing," she said then, her eyes once more drifting over to the books. "You did not have all of these when you were living in Stars Hollow," she continued, looking at him curiously. "Did you?"

"Well, not all of them, and not in Stars Hollow, but I had most of them still stashed in New York. I couldn't really fit everything in Luke's apartment. It's not that big," he said and smiled at her amazed look.

"I don't even have half of this," she told him then. "And my collection is supposedly not that small."

"So, you never told me why you brought the books," he said then and she turned slightly red.

"Um…I really like them…?" she tried, but didn't really think it would work. He just raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her real reason. "Fine, I wanted you to write in the margins of them," she admitted, turning even redder.

"Huh," he said, surprised. "I didn't think you liked vandalizing books." He smirked and watched her walk over to the bag and pull out a couple quite big books. He got another surprise as he recognized one of them. "Hemingway?" he asked, disbelieving. "You actually own any of his books?"

"Well, yeah. As of very recently anyway. I thought I'd finally read them and for that you need the books and then I thought of every time I'd tried before and almost gave up the idea again, but then I thought that maybe, if I got you to write in them I could somehow manage, 'cause if it got too boring I could always read your notes instead and so I brought the books here and…"

"Whoa, breathe," he exclaimed, getting up from the couch, interrupting her rant. "You obviously still know how to do that," he told her then, an amused smile playing at his lips as he walked up to her. "So, you want me to write in your newly bought Hemingway's so that you can finally hold up your end of the bargain?" he asked. "You know, you never did make it up to me," he added thoughtfully.

"I'll have to do that sometime," she said, looking down at her hands. Taking a breath she looked up at him again. "So you'll do it?" she asked him, smiling.

"If that's what it takes to make you read the books, then that's what I'll have to do," he answered, smiling back at her. "Did you have to get the hardback versions, though?" he complained and just barely dodged her hand as she, for the second time that day, tried to swat him.

They spent the rest of the night sitting on the floor talking, mostly about books. She told him about the latest article she wrote for the paper and the new professor she had at school. He told her about a book script he was editing at the moment and the latest prank they had pulled at the office. They stayed there for hours, talking and laughing, until she no longer could suppress her yawns.

* * *

That night he was lying wide awake on the couch in his living room, thinking the day's events over. There was no way he could go to sleep knowing she was currently lying in his bed. Maybe he hadn't though it all through when he earlier that evening had offered her his bed. But it wouldn't matter where he tried to sleep he concluded, her being there was enough. Although the thought of her lying in his bed was definitely not helping.

He sighed and turned for the tenth time in the past five minutes. This wasn't working. He got up and walked over to the pile of books on the other side of the table. He could as well start writing. He already knew the books by heart, so it wouldn't be that hard. The question was what he should write. Turning the floor lamp beside the couch on and settling down under the covers again he decided to see what came out.

No more than 15 feet away she was laying in bed, or more correctly his bed, having equally big trouble sleeping. She had tried reading, counting sheep and every other trick she could think of. It was no use. The only thing on her mind was that she was currently lying in his bed and he was left with the couch. Granted, he was the one insisting on that arrangement, saying something about him not sleeping that much anyway. It didn't help that she kept imagining him lying where she was now, sleeping soundly.

She thought about trying one of the Hemingway's, but remembered that she left them in the living room. And she couldn't go out there. Sighing she got out of the bed and went over to one of the bookcases in the room. Maybe there was something there she could try. She switched on the desk light and started looking. Browsing through the shelves she found something stashed behind the bottom row of books. Curious she pulled it out and found it being what looked like a well used notebook. She opened it, a bit hesitantly, and found herself staring into her own eyes.

The picture fell out of the notebook and she hastily picked it up. It looked as if it had been handled a lot, the edges were a bit torn and there was a crease through it. Examining it she tried to remember when it had been taken. It was obviously taken in the diner and she was sitting on a stool at the counter dressed in her Chilton uniform. She was smiling, looking at something outside the picture, eyes sparkling. She couldn't remember it being taken and had no idea where he could have gotten it.

She looked at the picture one more time before setting it down on the table and contemplated weather to look through the notebook or not. Finally her curiosity won over the voice in the back of her mind that kept telling her not to snoop. She recognized the handwriting immediately and soon she also recognized the story. This must be a draft or something for his book she concluded and felt both a bit disappointed and relieved that it wasn't something she hadn't read before.

Carefully she put the picture back in the notebook and placed it back behind the books. Deciding that she had done enough snooping for one night she looked over the books and picked out _Franny and Zooey_. She turned out the desk light, instead lighting the reading light above the bed and snuggled in to read. Only skimming the actual story she concentrated on the notes in the margins.

* * *

The next morning she was woken by a soft noise. Carefully opening her eyes she was initially startled by her unfamiliar surroundings. Then she saw the source of the noise. He was standing by the closet, dressed in a pair of black jeans that hung low on his hips and was currently dragging the other through his messy and slightly wet hair. She found herself staring at him, unable to look away, and felt her cheeks turning several shades of red.

He bent down slightly and pulled out a T-shirt and she watched the muscles on his back move as he did. She continued watching as he once again raised his hand and pulled it through his hair. She wished he would turn around so she could look more, but at the same time she didn't want to get caught. And just then he closed the closet door and turned around. She quickly closed her eyes, hoping he didn't notice her looking him over.

He smirked as he turned around just in time to see her eyes close tightly and noticed the slight coloring of her cheeks. After debating with himself if he should call her on it he finally decided not to at the moment. Instead he started walking over to the door and turned around just in time to catch her looking at him again. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," he said evenly, almost managing to keep the smirk off his face and the amusement out of his voice.

He watched her turn a couple shades redder before she disappeared under the covers. He smiled to himself as he walked out the door and couldn't hold in a chuckle once he had closed it. Shaking his head slightly, but still smiling, he pulled the T-shirt over his head and walked into the kitchen and started making breakfast. He put a CD on and silently sang along to the lyrics as he worked.

That's how she found him when she emerged from the bedroom ten minutes later, still in her pajamas. He was standing by the kitchen counter stirring something and mouthing along to a song she didn't think she had heard before. He looked up as she entered and smirked as he looked her over.

"My, my, aren't we looking fancy today," he said, trying to hold back a laugh. "I especially like the matching colors."

"Shut up," she said, trying to sound annoyed, but failed greatly. "Do you have a towel I could borrow?" she continued. "I seem to have forgotten mine."

"Sure, look in the bathroom cabinet," he said as he put the bowl down and took out a frying pan. "Breakfast will be ready soon," he called after her.

* * *

20 minutes later they were sitting at the kitchen table eating pancakes and drinking coffee. Both were surprised at how normal this seemed, sitting there eating breakfast together. It definitely didn't feel like it was the first time and both were hoping it was far from the last.

"I don't recognize any of these songs," she said after listening for a while. "Something new?" she asked, looking up at him to see if he had heard her. Instead of answering he reached over to the counter and retrieved a CD case that he handed to her. "_Howl_," she said after looking it over. "I like that title."

"It's got some good memories," he said, looking up at her. "I didn't _borrow_ this one though," he added, pointing to the CD case and was rewarded by her laugh.

* * *

The next afternoon they were once again standing together in the bus station. He was leaning against the same wall, but this time she was standing beside him. They were waiting for the bus to pull up and neither of them wanted it to come.

The conversation had died out a while ago and now they were standing silently together, both looking in the direction the bus would come from. From time to time one of them glanced over at the other, only to look away almost immediately. Neither of them knew how to handle this situation.

Then the bus pulled up and neither of them moved. They looked over at each other at the same time and smiled hesitantly at each other.

"I guess I should get on that bus," she said, as if trying to convince herself.

"Yeah, I guess," he confirmed, not sounding too convinced.

"I really need to get back to school," she said.

"That you do," he agreed, this time with more certainty.

"I had fun," she told him with a smile, looking up at him. "We should do this again some time."

"Yeah?" he asked. "Maybe I'll come up sometime," he added, already thinking of a good time.

"I'd like that," she said, smiling brightly.

"So, we should probably get you and your bag on that bus, right?" he said, pushing himself off the wall.

"Yeah, that would help the whole going back to school thing," she confirmed, her smile fading a little.

"Okay, then," he said, picked the bag up and flung it over his shoulder. "Did you have to get new books?" he asked, grimacing under the weight.

"You said I should read them," se said, laughing at his expression and started walking toward the bus.

Mumbling under his breath he followed, secretly glad for her laugh. He heaved the bag into the luggage compartment and straightened out, back cracking. Turning around to her he was met by her smile and glittering eyes. He didn't even try to stop the smile that appeared on his face.

"So…I should go…?" she said, not really knowing if it was meant as a question or a statement.

"I think that was the conclusion we came to," he offered, trying not to smile at her unwillingness to leave.

"Don't wait too long to visit," she said, starting to walk up to the front door of the bus.

Suddenly she changed her mind. She turned around and flung her arms around him in a tight hug. A bit startled it took him a while to respond, but soon he smiled and hugged her back. They stood there for a long time, neither wanting to let go. Eventually he loosened his grip on her and she reluctantly let go.

She smiled a little at him and started to turn around again, but once again she changed her mind. She turned to him again and reached up and kissed him on the cheek. Before he could react she had already almost run up on the bus and taken a seat. He finally shook his head slightly and smiled a bit sadly to himself.

He watched her take her place and soon the bus started off to New York. He waved after her as it pulled out and stood glued to the ground until he couldn't see it anymore. Then he turned around and started walking home.

The apartment felt empty when he entered. He tossed his keys on the floor and went into the bedroom and took out his old notebook. Looking at the picture he went over to the bed and sat down. He put the picture down and opened to a blank page somewhere in the middle. Taking out a pencil from his pocket he settled down and started writing, a concentrated look on his face.

On the bus she sat and contemplated the last couple of days. She had fun. They had fun. And she didn't really want to leave. To have something to do she took a book out of her purse. It was _The Old Man and the Sea_ and for the first time ever she opened it without dreading to read it. She settled in for the trip and smiled as she read the notes he had written in the margins. In five hours she would be home and could call him and tell him she had gotten home safely.


	5. Chapter 4 February Changes

**Not Dreaming**

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**A/N:** I know practically nothing about College in USA, so if anything in the coming chapters is wrong I apologize in advance. And if this doesn't make sense it's because it's late and I'm sick.

Thanks to everyone that has reviewed so far. And for you who ask for updates: They come when they come.

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**Chapter 4. ****February Changes**

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They were sprawled on the couch in her dorm room, watching something on TV. The movie they had originally watched had ended twenty minutes ago and neither of them had been able to muster up enough energy to change the channel. Neither of them seemed to mind though. He was half between sitting and lying with his legs stretched out in front of him. And she was lying down and had her legs slung over his. Both looked really comfortable.

They continued to watch the TV in silence, not really paying attention to it. He was steeling glances down at her from time to time and smiled to himself as he saw her beginning to drift off to sleep. A while later he shut off the TV and sat in the dark for a while thinking of the great night they'd had.

Earlier that evening he hadn't felt that great. He had been sitting in his car, looking at the gates trying to muster up enough courage to get out and walk in. He had reached for the door handle and started to open the door, but changed his mind countless times. Finally, with a sigh, he had turned the music up and leaned back against the seat again. He had closed his eyes for a moment and muttered some choice words under his breath. Tapping his fingers to the beat of the music he had decided to get out when the song ended. Decision made he had relaxed a bit in his seat and let the words of _The Blackest Years_ surround him.

The song had ended way too fast and the car had gone silent. Sighing, he had slowly opened his eyes. He had turned the stereo off and grabbed his bag from the passenger seat. Glancing at his watch he had finally opened the door and gotten out. He had been standing there looking around for a while before closing the door, locking it and walking in through the gates.

He had looked around as he walked, trying to remember the directions. After a couple minutes he had found himself standing outside the right building. Taking a deep breath he had opened the door and let his eyes scan the hallway as he did. He had almost laughed at how silly he was being. It had been almost two years, he was at a completely different part of the campus and this time she knew he was coming. There was no need to feel this nervous.

He had walked in and let the door close behind him, feeling a bit more confident as he had continued to watch the empty hallway. Walking further inside he had scanned the doors in search of the right one. He had soon found it and stopped, once again hesitating and once again he had started muttering at himself. After raking a hand through his hair he had finally knocked on the door. And he had felt all the nervousness and insecurities vanished as she had opened the door, smiling brightly at him and dragged him inside.

He sat still watching her for another ten minutes before feeling himself getting heavy-eyed. He carefully shifted his position and closed his eyes, not able to fight the sleep any longer.

* * *

She woke up early the next morning to a still fairly dark room, at first a bit startled at her surroundings. Then the previous night came back to her and she glanced up and saw him sleeping soundly, still half sitting on the couch. She lay still and watched him for a while, not wanting to disturb him. His head had fallen to the side during the night and rested on one of his arms that was slung behind his head. The other arm, she noticed, was lying over her legs, that she also noticed, were still stretched over his. He had a small smile playing at his lips and as she wondered what he was dreaming about she felt a smile of her own starting to form.

Thinking about last night she was amazed at how quickly her mood changed for the better as soon as he was there. She had been half lying on the couch, absently watching some stupid show on TV, when she heard the knock on the door. She had been exhausted after five hours of straight studying and helping Paris getting ready for an important date. And she'd had absolutely no energy for anything. The moment she had heard the knock her somewhat sulky expression had immediately turned into a bright smile and she had all but jumped off the couch and run to the door. Her smile had grown even wider at the sight of him.

She continued to watch him, taking the opportunity now that he couldn't see her doing it. She saw him stir and his eyelids started to flutter a bit, as if he was waking up. She quickly closed her eyes and pretended to sleep, not wanting to get caught again. She felt him stretch slightly and remove his arm from her legs and felt a bit disappointed. Then he stilled and she could almost feel his gaze on her.

* * *

He woke up to the unfamiliar feeling of something heavy lying over his legs. He soon realized what it was and watched her for a while trying to decide what to do. Feeling the slight strain in his neck he decided to get up. Carefully, as to not wake her, he lifted her legs and slid out from under them. Standing up he watched her to see if the movement had woken her up, but she didn't move and her only reaction was a slight sigh.

He watched her for a while, smiled slightly to himself and bent down to move a strand of hair out of her face before kissing her lightly on her forehead. Standing up again he sighed to himself and raked a hand through his hair. He saw a small smile tugging at her lips and smiled a bit sadly to himself.

With one last glance at her he went over to the window, massaging his neck and stretching the muscles in his back. He stood there looking out the window for a while before taking a notebook out of his bag and sitting down in the armchair next to the window. After looking over a couple pages in the light from the street lamp outside he took a pen out and started scribbling on an empty page. There was no way he could sleep anymore now.

* * *

She lay there for what felt like an eternity, listening to the rustle as he turned the pages of a book and the slight scraping of a pen. She still felt the soft, lingering touch of his lips and fingers. It had taken all of her willpower to stay 'sleeping' at the touch and now she was fighting the urge to grin like an idiot.

Taking a chance she slowly opened her eyes and, through half opened eyelids, looked over at him. He was huddled up in the armchair, eyes a bit strained in the sparse light. He had a concentrated look on his face and was writing incessantly. She tried to get a look of what he was writing in, but whatever it was it was hidden behind his legs.

Closing her eyes again she lay there, concentrating on the sound of him writing. She smiled as the image of him in the armchair appeared in her mind. Soon she felt herself drift off to sleep and to the sound of his pen she fell asleep again.

* * *

The next time she woke up it was to the bright light of the sun shining in on her. She listened carefully for any noise, but everything was quiet. Slowly opening her eyes she squinted at the light and had to shield them with a hand. Peering out from between her fingers she saw that he was still sitting in the armchair, a book in his hand and looking at her.

"Good morning," he said, getting up. "I hope you didn't mind me using the shower," he continued, smirking at her tries to focus her gaze.

"Good morning," she said, still a bit sleepy. "Of course not," she added after a moment, only now noticing he had changed his clothes and that his hair was slightly wet. "What time is it?" she asked after a moments thought.

"It's ten thirty. I thought you'd sleep all day for a while there," he said, clearly amused.

"Why didn't you wake me?" she asked, sitting up.

"Are you kidding?" he asked her, skeptically. "I've heard Luke's stories about what happens if you wake up a Gilmore girl. And I didn't want to search the whole campus for coffee just to…"

"Coffee, I need coffee," she said, interrupting him. "And food," she added after a moment. "And a shower," she concluded sadly after looking down at her wrinkled clothes.

* * *

Twenty minutes later he reentered the dorm room carrying two mugs of coffee and a bag of doughnuts to find her showered and ready, waiting for him to get back. He barely had time to get through the door before the coffee was taken out of his hands, followed by the bag.

"So, you get me to go find the food, but you don't let me eat any of it. How nice of you," he teased her, but couldn't help but smile at how eagerly she downed the first cup of coffee.

"I'm sorry, did you want something too?" she asked between bites of doughnut, smiling sweetly at him.

"I'm fine, I ate on the way here," he said. "Safest that way," he added, trying not to laugh as she quickly drank up the second cup of coffee.

* * *

Another twenty minutes later, after a lot of frantic packing on her part and a lot of no help on his part, they were both sitting in his car on their way to Stars Hollow. They had finally agreed on what music to play and were now listening to an old _Clash_ CD she had found in the glove compartment. They were sitting in silence, listening to the music and, unknown to the other, both thinking about the events earlier that morning.

She was getting more and more curious about what he had been writing that morning. But she couldn't ask him, because that would mean that he would find out she hadn't been sleeping all morning. And she didn't want him to know that. Struggling with herself not to say anything she finally decided to break the silence. Maybe talking about something else would get her mind off the morning.

"This car is so much better than the last one," she finally said, turning towards him, smiling.

"It better be, it cost a lot more that that piece of junk," he said, smiling back at her, grateful for the interruption in his thoughts.

"Whatever happened to it?" she asked, curious.

"I finally had enough of it and towed it to a scrap yard," he said, laughing at the memory. And they spent the rest of the drive discussing and laughing at memories of the now dead car.

"You didn't actually spend the whole night in your car when you were here…getting it…did you?" she asked, sounding slightly worried, when they were only a couple miles outside Stars Hollow.

"No," he said with a sigh at the memory. "Luke came out to tell me he was spending the night at Nicole's and that I could stay in the diner." He was looking straight ahead at the road, thinking back. "I probably would have if he hadn't come out though," he admitted after a pause.

"But it was freezing," she said, almost sounding angry. "You could have frozen to death."

"Yeah well, I was angry, stupid and way too stubborn," he said with a sarcastic smile, still not taking his eyes off the road. "And at the time it didn't seem to matter that much," he added, almost inaudibly.

She turned towards him at that, not really sure she had heard right. Staring at him she started saying something a couple times, but didn't know what to say. "It did matter," she said finally, equally quiet. "It always mattered."

Sighing heavily he finally turned to her as they passed the Welcoming sign and smiled slightly. "I told you I was stupid," he said.

He turned back to the road and they stayed silent the rest of the way to Luke's. Arriving there he turned the car off, but left the stereo on. Neither of them moved to get out of the car, both lost in thoughts. A tap on the passenger window startled them both and they simultaneously turned to see Lorelai standing on the other side of the window with a bright smile on her face.

They turned to each other, both smiling slightly, and got out of the car. Rory was immediately surrounded by her mother's arms and hugged her back tightly. Letting go of each other she saw that Jess had gotten his bag out of the car and was now holding up the door for them to enter.

"What took you so long?" Lorelai inquired, still smiling brightly.

"_Someone_ didn't want to wake up this morning," Jess said from the door, an amused smirk appearing on his face at the following protests.

Lorelai just laughed and they all entered the diner, some more cheerful than others. As soon as they got inside both Gilmore girls yelled for coffee and sat down at the counter. With the smirk still on his face Jess proceeded through the diner and walked up the stairs with his bag, all the way hearing the cries for coffee from downstairs.

Once inside the apartment he let the smirk fade off his face and sighed, dropping the bag down inside the door. He couldn't believe he had actually told her that. Shaking his head he walked over to the kitchen table, slumping down in a chair. Raking a hand through his hair he smiled a little as he thought of her response.

He sat there for a few more moments before getting up and retrieving the bag. He carried it over to his old bed before walking out of the apartment again and back down to the diner. He still heard their cries for coffee and felt the smirk reappear on his face as he pushed the curtain aside and stepped in behind the counter.

"What took you so long?" Lorelai asked him as he walked over to them and poured coffee in two large cups. "And where is Luke?" she asked a second later.

He just shrugged and glanced at Rory, giving her a smile as he saw her wondering look. She smiled back at him, looking slightly relived. Just then the door opened and Luke entered, smiling as he saw the three people gathered around the counter. He walked up to them, greeting Lorelai with a kiss and, with a smirk, told Jess to keep working as he already seemed to have started. He shrugged once again and went to refill coffee cups as the Gilmores sat chatting at the counter.

* * *

That night, after he and Luke had closed the diner, they were walking together through town, instinctively steering towards the bridge. They walked in silence, not feeling the need to talk. As they reached their destination they sat down beside each other, looking out over the water.

"I'm glad you came so soon," she said after a while.

"I didn't really have anything to do at home, so…" he trailed off, letting her interpret his meaning.

"I missed you," she told him quietly, looking up at him.

"You saw me two weeks ago," he reminded her, a smirk finding its way on to his face.

"Don't mock me," she said, unable to hold back a laugh. "You missed me too, admit it."

"Yeah, I did," he said after a moments thought, smiling at her victorious grin.

They sat there looking at each other for a while after that before they both looked away out over the water. A couple minutes later she glanced over at him, finding him still staring out over the water, seemingly deep in thought. Deciding to be bold for once she moved a bit closer and leaned her head on his shoulder. She felt him tense a little at first, but soon he relaxed and she smiled to herself. It felt good, almost like she was meant to be there.

They continued sitting there for a long time, neither moving, and talking about whatever came to mind. Eventually she couldn't ignore the cold creeping on her any longer and he felt her shiver slightly beside him. Fighting the urge for a split second he gave in and put his arm around her, gently rubbing her back. He felt her relax a bit and could hear her comfortable sigh.

They stayed there until she started to get drowsy. When she couldn't withhold her yawns he helped her up and walked her to the Gilmore house. She hugged him goodnight and waved sleepily as he walked back down the driveway on his way to the diner. They both went to sleep that night with a content smile on their faces and feeling like something was changing. And they both woke up the next morning with a feeling of anticipation.

* * *

She got up early that Sunday morning, not able to sleep any longer. After a quick shower she left a note for her mother and was on her way to the diner. Both Luke and Jess gave her strange looks as she walked in at eight, hair still wet. She ignored them and ordered coffee with lots of pancakes.

"I'm steeling Jess from you today," she told Luke as she finished her pancakes, not giving any of them time to react before dragging him out of the diner and up the stairs.

"I don't think you've dragged me up these stairs before," he said, amused as they started climbing. "I do recall being pushed down them a couple times though," he continued, starting to laugh. "I must say this direction is a lot better," he finished as she pulled him through the door to the apartment.

"I bet you do," she said, smiling at him. "We should do something today," she said then, looking around as if the room would give her an answer.

"Okay, what do you want to do?" he asked, watching her pacing around the apartment.

"I don't care," she said, stopping in the middle of the apartment. "I just want to do something. With you. Before you leave again," she said turning towards him.

"We could always get you through your next Hemingway," he said, smiling at her with what looked like a hopeful glint in his eyes.

"I don't have any of them here," she said after a moments thought, sounding a bit relieved that she didn't.

"No problem, I have," he said, at the same time walking over to the bag beside the bed and after a few moments searching got a book out. He smirked at her slightly horrified look and walked back over to her. "You said you didn't care," he reminded her, the smirk growing.

"Fine," she relented finally. "But you read," she told him, walking over to the couch and sitting down, patting the space beside her.

"Whatever it takes, I'll do it," he said, sitting down beside her and opening the book. "Okay, chapter one," he said, and smirked at her sigh. _"In the late summer of that year we lived in a village that looked across the river and the plain to the mountains. In the bed of the river there were pebbles and boulders…"_

* * *

Three hours later they were just finishing Book I. She was resting her head on his shoulder, listening to him reading and once in a while muttering something about how stupid something or other was. He smiled to himself and kept reading, only stopping when she wanted to know what he meant by one of his notes.

"…_after a while the train gave a jerk and started_," he finished and closed the book, leaning his head back on the couch. "I need something to drink," he said after a while, starting to get up.

"No, stay," she said, grabbing his arm to keep him seated. "I like this," she told him, tilting her head and smiling up at him.

"You like me being dehydrated?" he asked her, doing his best to give her an innocent smile, but failing as he saw the twitch in her arm, telling him she was about to swat him again. This time it would be difficult to avoid. "No need to get violent," he said amused and put his arm up as if to surrender.

"Who said anything about violence?" she asked him, trying to sound offended, but not able to suppress her smile.

He gave her a look as if to ask who she was trying to fool. Shaking his head and smiling slightly he pointed to her arm. "You should really practice more before you try that if you want to succeed. I may be a bit rusty, but you my friend are not that hard to read." Sighing, as if he just realized what he had said, he closed his eyes and let his head fall back on the couch again.

"What do you mean?" she asked, sounding a bit uncertain, not sure how they got to this topic.

"Why do you think I was sent here in the first place?" he asked her seriously, opening his eyes again and looking at her. "Or acted the way I did when I got here for that matter?"

"I don't know, I never really thought about that," she said, looking back at him. "Except when mom or Dean brought it up that is," she added, averting her eyes.

"I bet they came up with some pretty good reasons," he said, laughing a bit. "It might even have been fun to hear some of them."

"Mom said you had probably watched a lot of Stallone movies," she said, smiling slightly. "The night after the picnic," she added, her smile widening at the memory.

"Well, Rocky is quite the role model," he said, trying to sound serious, but failing as he saw her amused look.

"So, what did you do to get sent here?" she asked after a pause, no longer smiling.

"I think I'll go and get some water," he said, getting up before she could stop him, walked over to the kitchen and took out a glass.

"And you're still good at being evasive," she said, watching him pour water from the tap.

"You want some?" he asked when the glass was filled, turning around to face her.

"You're not going to answer this either, are you?" she asked.

"I…no," he said after a moment. "I shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. If you really want to know I'll tell you some other time, but not today."

"Okay," she gave in, dropping the subject for the time being. "You want to keep reading?" she asked. "I promise I will be good."

"Okay, but I need some air," he said, setting the glass down before walking over to his bed and retrieving his coat. "You coming?" he asked from the door.

* * *

They spent the next three hours on the bridge, finishing Book II with only some minor interruptions on her part. They had brought lunch from the diner on their way out and now there was a pile of empty food boxes sitting beside them. She was once again leaning her head on his shoulder, following the text while he read aloud.

"Does everything end with trains in this book?" she asked once he had finished reading.

"That's all you have to say so far?" he asked her, sounding a bit baffled. "And no, everything does not end with trains."

"Good, trains are boring," she said and laughed at his indignant glare. "I'm sorry, it just popped up in my mind and I had to say it. Forgive me?" She gave him her best pleading look and he couldn't stop the smile that appeared on his face.

"You shouldn't be allowed to do that," he said, barely holding back a laugh. "It's dangerous."

"We should probably go and socialize," she said after a couple minutes of comfortable silence. "Otherwise my mom will accuse you of kidnapping me and I'll never see you again. And we both have to get back tonight."

He didn't answer, only sighed, and they continued sitting there for another fifteen minutes. She finally got up and reached out her hand to help him up. He took it and they started walking back into town.

* * *

Around seven that night they both got into his car again for the trip back to Yale. He sighed in relief, exhausted after the last couple of hours spent with the Gilmore girls. If possible they talked more now than they used to. At least now he didn't have to deal with the constant hostility from Lorelai.

They drove in silence; listening to the same _Distillers_ CD he listened to when he drove there two nights ago. Arriving at Yale neither of them wanted to say the first goodbye. Turning the engine off he leaned back in his seat for a while.

"I'll help you with your bag," he finally said in an effort to postpone it a bit longer.

She nodded and they walked the short way to her dorm in even more silence, taking their time. When they reached her door she turned towards him with a hesitant smile. They stood there and looked at each other for a few moments, before he took a small step forward, reached up a hand and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

She shivered slightly at the touch, suddenly reminded of that morning. Still with her eyes locked on his and without really thinking of what she was doing she leaned forward and kissed him. Almost immediately she felt him respond and his arms pull her closer.

She couldn't believe how much she had missed this, the feelings stirred up inside her. She closed her eyes and moved her hands up to his hair, deepening the kiss. Eventually she pulled away slightly, feeling dazed. Opening her eyes she looked up at him.

"Please don't run," he whispered, almost pleading, looking her in the eyes.

"I won't," she whispered back, although she wasn't sure if it was him she was reassuring, or herself.

"I have to go," he said regretfully, lifting a hand to play with her hair.

"Can't you stay till tomorrow?" she whisperer, burrowing her head against his shoulder.

"I have to go to work, you know," he said, holding her closer again.

"Can't you turn back to the old Jess for one night," she said, not sure if she was serious or not.

"I…I don't want to go…" he said, smiling into her hair. "But I have to. I need to be there tomorrow. And I should probably go sooner rather than later, or else I will actually end up staying."

"Call me tomorrow," she said, head still burrowed in his shoulder. "Or when you get home for that matter."

"You want me to wake you up in the middle of the night?" he questioned, not sure if he should laugh or not. The suggestion sounded too absurd to him.

"I probably won't sleep tonight anyway," she said, finally looking up at him. "Please call me when you get home."

"Okay," he said, smiling down at her. "Can I kiss you again?" he asked, not waiting for her reply before capturing her lips.

* * *

An hour later they were both thinking the same thing. What now? They hadn't talked at all about the future or what the latest events of the evening meant. For now they just lived in the present, hoping that everything would turn out right in the end. Turning over to the road that would take him past New York he was singing along with a song on the radio, not caring that it definitely wasn't something he normally would listen to. And in her room at Yale she was continuing the book he had read to her during the day. And she didn't once consider putting it down.

He called at half past one and neither of them got that much sleep that night. He came at the last minute to the meeting the next day, but when the other guys saw the grin on his face that he couldn't wipe out entirely they only laughed to themselves. Up in Connecticut she was walking around with a silly grin the whole day, almost driving Paris to a complete breakdown when she was far from paying attention during the meeting for the _Yale Daily News_.


	6. Chapter 5 NY Stories Pt I

**Not Dreaming**

* * *

**A/N:** I've done as much research as I could and had the energy to about the things in this story, but since I've never been outside Europe my knowledge of USA in general is mostly what you see in movies and on TV. New York is a big mystery to me, so please just go with it if there are some things that are slightly wrong. Big stuff I'm grateful if you point out.

This would have been way too long put in one chapter so I'm dividing it up. I'm glad the last chapter obviously made sense to everyone. Hopefully this will too.

* * *

**Chapter 5. NY**** Stories Pt. I**

* * *

She was sitting on a bench in Port Authority, reading a book and waiting for him to appear. He was late, but she had seen the traffic outside, so she wasn't concerned yet. Looking up from her book she watched all the hurrying people milling around her. It made her tired just to look at them. Shaking her head she continued to read her book, smiling as she read the notes in the margins.

She was almost through the book when she noticed someone stop in front of her. She quickly looked up and almost threw the book away before jumping up and throwing her arms around him.

"I believe someone missed me," he said and she could hear the laughter in his voice as he almost staggered backwards before catching her in his arms.

She didn't answer, only pulled back enough to kiss him. He responded eagerly, tangling one hand in her hair and using the other to pull her closer. Her hands, as if having their own life, found their way up to his hair. She smiled through the kiss as she remembered that they always used to end up there.

"Is this answer enough for you," she asked, pulling away just enough to smile up at him.

"Maybe," he said and smirked at her before pulling her close again, capturing her lips in another kiss. They eventually pulled apart slightly, both smiling and breathing a bit faster than normal.

"Hi," she said after a while, fiddling with a lock of hair above his ear.

"Hi," he echoed, smiling at her concentrated look.

"We should do this more often," she said, looking into his eyes again. "Talking on the phone isn't nearly as good as this."

"I know," he said and kissed her again.

* * *

Half an hour later they were just sitting down in a restaurant or diner or whatever it was supposed to be. She had no idea. And even less of an idea where they were. When they had finally managed to pull away from each other they had gonet out of the crowded bus terminal. With a firm grip on his hand she had simply followed him as he guided them through the busy streets. She had said something about being hungry and they had ended up here, in a rather small and cozy place that obviously served food.

As she sat there trying to decide what to order she realized she actually had no idea what they were doing in New York in the first place. She hadn't really asked anything when he asked if she wanted to go away with him for a while over spring break. She didn't even know if they were going to stay in the city or go somewhere else. The only thing that seemed important was that they would be spending the week together, just the two of them.

She looked up form her menu and found him watching her with an unreadable expression that almost immediately turned into a smile. She was just about to ask him what he was thinking about when a waitress came up to their table. Everything else momentarily forgotten she astonished the girl by ordering a pot of coffee and enough food for three, in addition to his more normal order.

"Poor girl," she heard him say when the waitress had left their table, a hint of amazement in his voice. "Did you see her face? That was priceless."

She smiled proudly at him and he couldn't hold in his laughter any longer. They smiled at each other and she reached over the table to pull him over to her side. Complying, he got up from his seat and sat down next to her, keeping her hand in his under the table. The waitress was even more amazed when they left forty five minutes later with only a few leaves of lettuce still on the plates.

From there he led her to a subway entrance and they boarded the first random train to arrive. To her it was random anyway, but he seemed to know where they were going. She tried several times to get him to tell her where they were going, but he never gave in. She finally stopped trying and pouted up at him for a while until he kissed her. She stopped pouting and started smiling. The subway was just like she remembered it; crowded, loud and shaky. But it gave her a perfect excuse to hold on to him, so she didn't complain.

They emerged on a random street some other place in the maze that New York was to her. They only walked half a block before he stopped in front of a building and smiled at her before going inside. She followed a bit curious as to where they were going. They took the elevator and went up to the fifth floor where he pulled out a key and opened a door.

"Okay, now I'm confused," she said, looking around inside. "Don't tell me you have an apartment here too."

"Okay, I won't," he said, smirking at the warning glare she shot at him. "No, it's not mine," he said after a moment. "I still know some people in this city. The owner of this place is sort of an old friend. He's out of town and he's letting me borrow it for a couple days," he continued with a shrug, walking closer to her.

"So, we're staying in the city then?" she asked, trying once again to get him to tell her what they were doing here.

"Sounds that way," he said and smiled at her, now standing right in front of her. He put one arm around her and used his other hand to pull her hair away from her neck before kissing her lightly right below her ear. "That okay by you?" he asked and continued to trail kisses down her neck.

"Um…I…okay…" she managed to breathe out, suddenly feeling limp in his arms. She closed her eyes and held on to him, a soft moan escaping her.

"Good," he smiled and left a last kiss on her yaw line. "So, it does work after all," he said, looking at her again and smiled at her disappointed look as he stopped.

"No fair," she exclaimed after a second, pouting up at him and trying to look offended, but failing as a smile started tugging at the corners of her mouth. Looking into his eyes she couldn't possibly be angry with him. Reaching a hand up to his neck she tangled her fingers in his hair and leaned in to kiss him.

The apartment was rather big she noticed when she went to look around later. There were photos scattered all around it, on the walls, drawers, tables. Most of them seemed to be of the same people, a man and a woman and what looked like their two children. The photos where obviously taken during at least fifteen years according to the growth of the children. In some of them there was an old man who looked like an older version of the man.

"Who are these people?" she asked him, getting more and more curious as she looked around. "And who is the owner of this place? And don't say he is 'sort of a friend', 'cause that's not an answer." Then she spotted something in one of the photos that she definitely wasn't prepared for. It was a picture of the old man from the other photos and what looked very much like a younger version of Jess, standing together in front of a big building. "And why are you in this picture?" she asked, taking it up from the table where it stood and turning towards him.

"Huh, I didn't know he still had that," he said looking down on the framed picture in her hand. He dragged a hand through his hair and looked up at her. "That is Sam, he is the 'sort of friend' and the other people are his son and his family," he said then in answer to her first questions, looking like he was pondering something.

She kept silent, waiting for him to continue, not wanting to push him. She knew how much that used to help. After a while he took the picture from her hand and looked at it again before setting it down in its place on the table. He took her hand and led her over to a couch in the other end of the room and sat them down.

"That photo was taken right after I'd won a writing competition in 6th grade," he began, not looking at her, but still holding her hand in his. "Sam owns a second-hand bookshop a couple blocks away. It was right around the corner from our apartment back then. I think I walked in there the first time when I was four. He found me when he was closing the store, asleep on the lowest shelf in a bookcase somewhere in the back with a thick book as a pillow. I refused to tell him where I lived, so he let me stay there until the police came to get me. It wasn't the first time they did that. I kept coming back there after that and after the police explained the situation he let me stay. When there weren't any customers in the store we sat in an old armchair and he taught me how to read."

"It sounds as if he liked you," she said when he didn't continue. She didn't really know what to say, she was too busy trying to grasp the little pieces of information he had given her. She had no idea what to make of the fact that he obviously had been used to walking around alone in New York when he was four. At that age she had barely been allowed to be out of Lorelai's sight. The fact that he just as obviously had been in contact with the police numeral times at that age was even harder to grasp.

She was also a bit surprised that he had told her so much and that he didn't seem to mind doing it. He must have known she would ask questions when he brought her here. And yet he had done just that. She suddenly realized that he wanted to tell her. Was that why they were here in the first place?

She reached out her free hand and turned his face towards her. He didn't resist and finally looked at her. She searched his eyes for some kind of answer, but he seemed to be deep in thought. Trying to catch his attention she leaned in and kissed him softly. After a moment he closed his eyes and kissed her back eagerly.

"Where did you disappear to?" she whispered when he pulled away, cradling his cheek in her hand. He leaned into her touch, eyes still closed.

"Nowhere really," he said opening his eyes and meeting her gaze.

"Why this sudden urge for sharing?" she asked then, hoping he would continue. She wanted to know more, to get an insight in his life before she met him. There was so much she didn't know, so much he kept secret.

"You wanted to know why I ended up in Stars Hollow," he said, eyes still locked on hers and his free hand playing with a strand of her hair. "I thought you'd like a background and this seemed like a good place to start."

"Is that why we're here?" she asked, shivering slightly when his fingers trailed along her temple.

"Sort of," he said, smiling slightly at her reaction. "I decided on my way home from your dorm that you had a right to know. I just had to get enough courage to actually begin. And some sort of starting point. This seemed to be the best I could come up with."

"You don't have to…" she started but was cut off.

"I know. But you want to know," he said, smiling at her, a real smile this time.

"I do," she said, nodding slightly. "But I don't want to make you to feel like you have to."

"You're not," he said as he leaned in to kiss her again. She let her hand move to his neck and deepened the kiss, losing herself in the feeling for a moment.

"I want to see the bookstore," she mumbled against his lips. She felt him smile and deepen the kiss again. She didn't mind, only pulled him closer to her.

* * *

"Where exactly are we?" she asked him when they, hand in hand, walked out of the building again an hour later. He laughed at her question, released her hand to put his arm around her waist and pull her close to him.

"We'll take a detour and I'll show you," he said and turned left at the next street corner. "I think you'll recognize some things pretty soon."

She looked around curiously in search of something familiar, but didn't see anything. Until they had passed two blocks that is. Then she saw something green around the corner and soon they were in clear sight of a park. And not just any park. The park she had skipped school to find. The park where she had found him sitting on a bench, reading a book by Tom Wolfe, almost four years ago.

"I like this place," she said and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"You did skip school to come here," he agreed. "I actually haven't been here in over a year."

"Come on then, we should visit," she said, starting to pull him with her over the street. They walked into the park and sat down on a bench overlooking the big fountain.

"This was like a second home for a long while," he said suddenly. "Or a third if you count the bookstore. I could sit here for an entire day except that most times I only had one book with me, so I had to get a new one sometime. Then there were days when the whole park seemed to be overtaken by the circus. I hated those days. Everyone was so happy and cheery and I couldn't stand it. It was so far from everything I knew."

He stopped and she searched for something to say, but glancing over at him and seeing the far away look on his face she decided to stay quiet. Instead she moved a bit closer to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. She felt his arm drape over her shoulders and his hand start to play with her hair and smiled to herself. She took his other hand in hers and waited for him to continue.

"I don't think I was home more than to sleep for a couple hours a day after I turned 13. Sometimes I didn't come home for a week and Liz didn't even seem to notice. She was either out herself or too drunk or stoned to care either way. Usually with one of her boyfriends, or husbands, if they managed to get married before he took off. Each time one of them left she tried to change her habits, quit drinking and actually go out and buy food. But it never lasted more than a week or so. When I was ten she found a bag of weed in my room and spent fifteen minutes lecturing me on how wrong it was to do drugs, not realizing I had found it in the kitchen and hid it from her."

"She could never keep a job so we rarely had any money. I think I was six the first time I shoplifted. It was some kind of canned food, 'cause it was small enough to hide and wouldn't rustle. I remember it tasted awful, but I was so hungry I didn't care. I hadn't eaten anything other than a week old sandwich in two days. After a while I got better at it and could take things I'd actually want to eat.

"I think the day I started school was one of the happiest days of my life. Ironic I know, but it's true. I finally had a reason not to be at home. And I could actually eat as much as I wanted for lunch without having to worry if I would have anything to eat the next day. And the teachers were impressed that I could already read and write."

She sat quietly and listened to him talk. She wanted to hug him and never let go, but she knew he wasn't looking for any kind of sympathy. He talked as if he was telling a story that had nothing to do with him. She didn't know if that was some kind of defense mechanism for dealing with it or if it was how he actually felt about it.

They sat there for almost an hour as he told her more about his childhood – if you could call it that. She noticed he didn't tell her anything that happened after he started high school, apart from that first comment about the park. She concluded that something must have happened around that time and she longed to know what it was. But she kept quiet and listened to stories mixed together in no special order and seemingly without connection.

She smiled as he told her about the writing competition and how happy he had been when Sam was there and congratulated him. She tightened her hold on his hand when he told her about the first of his mother's boyfriends who thought it was fun to beat someone up when he was drunk. She couldn't help but laugh at the picture of a ten year old Jess sitting in a big armchair in a cramped bookstore reading Hemingway. And she frowned when he told her how sick he had been after experimenting with his mother's stash of alcohol when he was seven.

He finished with telling her about the first girl he had ever kissed. He had been nine and she was the girl in school that no guy dared talk to without first being spoken to. He had lost a bet on something and the punishment had been to kiss her. He almost laughed when he told her about the other guys admiring looks as he had gone straight up to her and kissed her. And he actually laughed when he added that his eye had been blue for almost a week after she punched him.

"Come on, we should get going before the bookstore closes," he said after a minute of silence and started to stand up. He didn't get that far though as she was still holding on to his hand and pulled him down again.

"You just told me all that stuff and now you're just getting up and going on like nothing happened?" she asked him astonished, looking at him in disbelief.

"I… I'm not good at this sort of thing, you know that," he said, closing his eyes for a moment. "I don't want you to sit here and feel sorry for me or something like that. I just thought that since I know practically everything about you life you should know something about mine. And that if I told you it might make you understand why I deal with things the way I do."

"I won't tell you I'm sorry," she said and smiled slightly. "I just thought you would like to talk about it or something. I don't know what I thought really. I just… How can you be so calm about all of this?" she asked finally. "I felt like you were reading me another book. Except you would have done that with more feeling for the story."

"Because being angry never solved anything," he told her. "You should know that, you know what I got from being angry. It happened and of course I wish it didn't, but I can't do anything about that now, so why dwell on it? I did that for way too long and it only made me lose even more. Dwelling on it made me disappoint Luke and hurt you, the only people I've ever truly loved."

He stopped abruptly and looked away from her, feeling like he said too much. He heard her breathe in sharply beside him and then he felt her hand on his cheek, turning his head back to her. Before he could react she was kissing him. He closed his eyes and kissed her back, savoring the feeling of her lips against his, her body in his arms and the emotions it brought up inside of him.

"Thank you for telling me," she said when they pulled apart, her eyes locked on his. "It means a lot to me," she whispered smiling and kissed him softly.

"You're welcome," he said and raised his hands to cup her face before kissing her again.

* * *

They went to the bookstore that night and spent an hour browsing before it was time for closing. Both ended up buying a couple new books and he promised they would come back the next day to look around more. Walking back to the apartment they unconsciously kept as close to each other as possible.

They ordered pizza and sat the rest of the night on the couch and watched old movies, her snuggled up against him. Finally she couldn't hold in her yawns any more and reluctantly got up to go to bed. She got the guest room and he, again, used the couch in the living room. She wanted to protest, but didn't think he would listen. Instead she went to bed and lay there, suddenly unable to fall asleep, and thought about everything she had learned about him today.

She still didn't know how to feel about it all. Instinctively she wanted to follow her first impulse and hold him forever. But as before she realized that he didn't need that. Her second thought was to call Lorelai and tell her, but she soon dismissed that too. He would definitely not want her mother to know everything he had just told her. She lay there for almost an hour before giving up on sleep.

Sighing to herself she got out of bed and crept to the door, opening it as silently as she could. Not hearing any noise other than the street outside she tiptoed over to the couch and watched him for a moment. He lay on his back with one arm under his head seemingly sound asleep, the cover halfway up his chest. She blushed slightly when she noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt. Carefully pushing the cover aside she gently laid down beside him, her head on his shoulder. She draped an arm over his stomach, blushing even more as she felt the firm muscles under her hand. She soon fell asleep, feeling comfortable.

When he was sure she was asleep he carefully moved his arm from under his head and placed it around her. He smiled to himself, kissed her hair softly and drew her a bit closer to him, holding her tightly. She sighed contently in her sleep and he closed his eyes, allowing sleep to take a hold of him.


	7. Chapter 6 NY Stories Pt II

**Not Dreaming**

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**A/N: **Thanks for reading and appreciating this story. I'm not sure I like how this chapter turned out, but my head hurts from editing, so it will have to do.

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**Chapter 6. NY Stories Pt. II**

* * *

She woke up the next morning enveloped in his arms. Sometime during the night he had obviously turned towards her for she now lay with her head resting on his arm and buried in his chest. Both his arms were around her, securely holding her in place and she had one of her legs slung over his. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so comfortable, or safe, waking up.

Her arm that had started on his stomach was now resting on his lower back, just above his boxers. And that was when she realized that was the only thing he was wearing. Why hadn't she thought of that the night before? Or had she? She felt her cheeks turn red as her thought drifted and she pictured him in her mind.

She felt him stir slightly and lying still in his hold she waited for him to wake up. She didn't want to disturb him, wanting to lie there, close to him, for as long as possible. He tightened his hold of her and bent his head to kiss her forehead. She smiled and sighed contentedly.

"Good morning," she whispered into his chest, if possible snuggling even closer.

"Morning beautiful," he whispered back, his voice slightly hoarse and lazed with sleep. One of his hands moved to her neck and gently caressed her soft skin. She shivered from the touch.

"I could get used to waking up like this," she said, still whispering.

"You should be glad I've got good reflexes then," he said, his fingers slowly continuing their path over her skin. "Or you might have woken up on the floor." His fingers reached the strap of her tank top and paused for a second before continuing to her shoulder.

"Thank you," she said distractedly, all her senses focusing on his fingers slow journey.

"I don't think this couch was meant for two people," he said, smiling as she shivered under his touch.

"Probably not," she agreed, tilted her head upwards and kissed his neck gently. She was rewarded by a soft moan and smiled before continuing.

His hand returned to her back and soon found its way to the strip of bare skin between her tank top and sweatpants. He played a little with the hem of the top before sliding his hand under it, carefully easing her over to her back. He slowly started trailing kisses along her jaw line and further down her neck, while his hand gradually made its way over to her stomach and slid higher up under her top.

She reached her hand up to its favorite place, tangled in the hair at the back of his neck. Freeing the other arm from under him she started exploring his back, following the tight muscles under his skin. She turned her head and captured his lips with hers again, kissing him softly at first.

With one last kiss he raised himself up on his arm and smirked as her content smile turned into a pout. He removed his hand from under her top and gently tracer his fingers along her hairline.

"Do you really want to continue where this is heading?" he asked her once his breathing had slowed down a little, watching her carefully.

"I don't know," she whispered uncertainly, opening her eyes to meet his gaze. "I mean, I want to," she added quickly, blushing slightly. "I just…" she trailed off, not sure how to explain.

"Don't want it to be on a couch somewhere, the first time we see each other in three weeks after we kissed for the first time in almost three years?" he offered when she didn't continue.

"You should be a mind reader," she said, smiling at him, amazed and grateful that he seemed to know how she was feeling without her having to explain anything.

"I told you I know you better than anyone," he said, smiling back at her.

"You did," she said slowly as her eyes started drifting from his and down to his mouth and her hand started exploring his well defined arm and chest.

"So, maybe we should…" he began before gasping a little as her searching fingers found his nipple. "That was definitely not what I was going to suggest," he said after a moment, barely keeping himself from crashing his lips to hers again.

"When did you become the sensible one?" she asked, sounding a bit curious. "I wouldn't have thought you'd be the one to stop," she said, smiling at up at him, her smile turning playful before she tilted her head to kiss his neck.

"If you keep that up I won't be sensible much longer," he told her through clenched teeth.

"Sorry," she said guiltily, hearing the strain in his voice. She kissed his cheek gently and crawled out from under the cover. "I'm taking a shower," she said as she got up from the couch. She looked down at him and smiled as she saw the mix of emotions in his eyes.

He followed her movements as she gathered her things in the guest room and walked over to the bathroom. Once she had closed the door behind her he let himself fall down on his back, heaved a sigh and rubbed a hand over his face. He felt exhausted. And in great need of a shower himself. A cold one.

* * *

When she emerged from the bathroom after a long shower he was still lying on his back on the couch, a hand covering his face. She pouted a little when she saw he was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. After a moments thought she smiled and started inching her way over to him. Once there she slowly bent down, watching him carefully for any sign that he was conscious of her approach.

Just before she was about to kiss him she was startled by a soft 'Hey,' from him. She jumped a little and looked down at him again. He was still lying as before, with a hand over his eyes. But now there was an amused smirk playing at his lips.

"You knew I was here," she accused, pouting, and watched as the smirk grew wider.

"Yes," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why did you let me believe you didn't?" she asked, pouting more.

"'Cause it was funny," he said, the smirk morphing into a smile. "You know, I wasn't asleep last night either," he added, finally removing the hand from his face.

"Oh," she managed, turning slightly crimson. "Why did…" she started, but stopped when she saw his raised eyebrow. "Sorry, stupid question," she said instead, sitting down on the couch. "I have a confession too," she admitted. "You know the morning at my dorm. I wasn't asleep then," she finished.

"Huh," he said, looking away feeling embarrassed.

"I'm glad you did," she confided, causing him to look at her again. "If I hadn't been awake I probably wouldn't have had the courage to kiss you that night."

"Then I'm thankful you were," he said as he sat up beside her and kissed her softly.

* * *

After he took his long awaited shower and they had eaten breakfast it was almost noon. They spent the rest of that day in the bookstore, browsing and discussing the books they wanted to read. When he wasn't looking she sat down in the old armchair with a book, snuggled up against the soft back. She smiled at how small it made her feel and imagined how small it had made him look all those years ago.

When she was getting hungry she dragged him with her, demanding him to show her where their hot dog stand was. He smiled as she started in the wrong direction before catching up to her and steering her to the right street. It was still there and the hot dogs tasted just as good as she remembered.

* * *

That night, coming out from the bathroom after brushing her teeth, she found him sitting on the couch, deep in thought. She recognized the far away expression on his face and walked over, tentatively sitting down next to him. Her appearance startled him at first.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked facing him.

He didn't answer for a while, his gaze still focused on something distant. "Are you sure you want to know the rest of the story?" he asked her suddenly, looking into her eyes, searching for confirmation.

"Yes," she said simply, without hesitation.

"Okay, then," he said and took her hand in his. Looking down at their intertwined fingers he took a deep breath and settled back on the couch.

"The summer I turned thirteen I started spending more and more time away from home. Not that I was there much before, but I had usually been back before midnight. I guess I was trying to find out how far I could go before Liz reacted. But she never did. I tried not going home at all, but sleeping on a park bench wasn't really that great. And New York probably isn't the best place to try it."

"I still went to school and I suppose I did okay, but it no longer felt like it really mattered. I started smoking somewhere the year before high school, mostly because it was easy. There were packs lying around everywhere in the apartment, so it wasn't like it cost any money. I learned quite quickly to stay away from the handmade ones though."

"The only one who noticed something was going on was Sam. But he had started spending more and more time with his family somewhere out west, so he wasn't here enough to do anything about it. And as long as I still did the basic in school no one there cared and it wasn't like it took hard work to pass."

"Then Liz's latest marriage, as always, ended in another messy divorce. And after that came Tony. He appeared somewhere in the spring before I finished 8th grade. He was the controlling type and he pretty much dictated her life from the moment she met him. He hated me, probably thought I was in the way or something. And the feeling was definitely mutual. When I had refused to follow his orders one time too many he decided to teach me a lesson. I ended up in the hospital with a broken nose, a couple broken ribs, some cuts and too many bruises to count. Liz didn't even show up at the hospital and I pretty much stopped caring."

He stopped for a while and looked over at her for the first time since he started. She hadn't said a word so far, just listened intently, holding on to his hand and squeezing it tightly at the end. He smiled a bit sadly at her and pulled her close to him, kissing her forehead. She settled herself in the now familiar position, her head resting on his shoulder, and pulled her legs up under her.

With a firm grasp of his hand she listened as he told her about beginning high school and how he started hanging out with the wrong people. How the occasional shoplifting and pick pocketing became more frequent and soon progressed into lock picking and breaking into cars. How the late night reading under street lamps turned into roaming around the streets in search of some new thrill. How parties with too much alcohol and too much fighting became an everyday occurrence.

"The first time I woke up with a splitting headache next to a girl I couldn't even remember seeing before I promised myself I'd never do that again. I have no idea how many times I made that exact promise. You would've thought that growing up with Liz would somehow have a deterrent effect, but obviously it didn't. It took another hospital visit, this time for alcoholic poisoning, before I actually cut down. Waking up feeling like you've been run over by a steamroller, scraped up from the street and then put together again backwards can have that effect."

Sometime during the last part she had closed her eyes and tightened her hold on his hand, stiffening a bit. It was getting harder to stay silent, to not ask him to stop. She wanted to know everything, she needed to, but she wasn't so sure she could handle it anymore. She heard him sigh dejectedly and felt him shift beside her. He put two fingers under her chin and turned her face towards his. Complying she was met by the pained look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and she could swear she saw his eyes water before he closed them. "I shouldn't have told you," he whispered even quieter, releasing her hand and dropping his head back down on the couch.

She couldn't hold back any longer. Her desire to hold him took over and she hugged him fiercely, trying to give them both comfort. She had seen the fear deep in his eyes. Fear, she realized almost instinctively, that she would resent him. She wanted to reassure him that she wasn't going to, that she wasn't going anywhere. She finally felt him respond, hesitantly at first, but then almost desperate. They sat there for a long time before loosening their hold of each other.

She pulled away slightly to look at him and saw the question in his eyes as she met his gaze. Without thinking she leaned in again and captured his lips with hers, kissing him with equal frenzy as she just hugged him. He kissed her back just as forcefully, holding her close. After a while they slowed down the kisses, both feeling drained from the emotional outlet.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again, his head buried in her hair, still holding her close.

"I wanted to know," she said softly, taking his head in her hands to make him look at her. "And besides, that's not you anymore."

He pulled her in for another kiss, wanting to have her close. Then they just sat on the couch, silently, holding each other, both thinking about what he just told her. He was amazed and grateful that she reacted the way she did. Some part in the back of his mind told him to just wait till she had had time to let it sink in, but he refused to listen to it. She tried to picture this different Jess she had just heard described, but she couldn't. Not even when she thought back to when he just came to Stars Hollow could she really compare the two.

"You know, I hated my life, and I hated myself for getting there," he continued after a while, deciding to finish the story. "It's very easy to fall into it, but once you're there it's really hard getting out again. I couldn't go back to the apartment for more than a few hours at a time and I still had to live. So I continued more or less as before, only I started spending more time in the park again and occasionally went back to the bookstore."

"The others frowned at it when they first found out, but I still did my part in all of their so called work, so they let it slip. They even let it slide when I started sneaking away money for books. I think they sort of thought it funny and since I was more or less sober again I was better at getting it, so I guess it evened out in the end."

"Tony was eventually sent to prison for beating up some guy in a bar about two years after he appeared and Liz finally started to get her life together after a while. I think she actually got help somewhere. I'm not sure though, 'cause I couldn't care less. Except for the fact that she for the first time in my life started interfering with what I did. She started trying to act like the mother she never was, which only made me angry."

"She kept trying though, and I kept ignoring her. Until she got a call from the police station. It was far from the first time they had called her, but this time she was actually present enough to answer the phone. They couldn't prove anything that time either, but she completely flipped and I ended up in my very own version of hell."

"It's not that bad," she interjected, defending her town.

"It felt like I had stepped right into a circus," he said, smirking at her offended tone and she smiled back at him.

"Why are you so calm?" he asked suddenly, not able to ignore the little voice in the back of his head any longer. "I just told… Well, you know what I just told you. I thought…I mean, I don't know how I expected you to react, but this is definitely not it," he got out, suddenly afraid to hear her answer.

"I…I don't know," she mumbled uncertainly. "I don't think I've processed everything yet," she said after thinking over it briefly. "I mean, there is a certain way this usually goes. It starts with listening, then comes perceiving, followed by understanding, which, depending on the subject, might lead to me freaking out. I don't think I'm really at the understanding stage yet. I mean, I'm not sure, 'cause I've never had my boyfriend tell me he used to spend his time breaking into houses before. And definitely not that he almost died before we even met. And… Oh my god!"

She stopped abruptly, staring at him, before getting up from the couch. She paced over the living room floor a couple times before stopping, leaning against the wall opposite the couch. "You could have died!" she cried, her voice rising. "What if you had, then I'd never met you!" she continued before she slumped down to the floor with a first sob.

"And we have an official Gilmore freak out…" he mumbled, watching her from the couch, not sure what to do. He didn't know if she would let him come close, but after watching as her shoulders shook for a couple seconds he decided he had to try. He couldn't stand seeing her like this, and knowing it was his fault wasn't making it any better.

He got up from the couch and slowly walked over to her, gliding down the wall to the floor beside her. When she didn't pull away he sighed with relief. He carefully took her in his arms, drawing her close. She buried her face in his chest, her whole body shaking with sobs, and clung to him. He held her close, leaning his head on top of hers and gently stroking his fingers through her hair.

"I'm sorry," she whispered brokenly, almost inaudibly, when her sobs had subsided.

"Don't be," he mumbled into her hair and kissed her temple. "There's nothing to be sorry for."

He kept stroking her hair and holding her until he felt her breathing even out and he slowly became aware that she was falling asleep. That's when he realized for the first time how late it was, or early depending on your point of view. He smiled slightly and carefully untangled himself from her hold before scooping her up in his arms and carrying her over to the guest room.

He laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers over her. He kissed her forehead softly and stood to leave the room when her hand on his arm stopped him.

"Stay," she mumbled sleepily, scooting over a little to make room and opening the covers, motioning for him to join her.

It only took him half a second to comply, lying down beside her. She snuggled into him with a pleased sigh and was soon asleep. He listened to her even breathing, wondering what tomorrow would bring, and soon he was asleep too.


	8. Chapter 7 NY Conclusions

**Not Dreaming**

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**A/N:** This is probably way too fluffy, but I was in the mood for something really cute. It might be that it's soon a new year or maybe the snow. I'm not sure… Anyway, consider yourself warned.

As usual, thanks to everyone who reviewed! Reviews make me happy! :D

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**Chapter 7. ****NY Conclusions**

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She wasn't there when he woke up the next morning and judging by the cold sheets beside him she hadn't been for a while. He sighed and used his hand to rub his face. Opening his eyes he discovered that it was bright in the room and he briefly wondered how late it was and how long he had actually been sleeping.

Then the events of last night came back, with all too much clarity. He sighed again, wondering how long she had been up and how many times she had gone over every detail of his tale in her head. He wondered what she was thinking of it now that she had had some time to think it through.

Slowly he got out of bed, dragging a hand through his hair. A bit hesitantly he walked over to the closed door. Opening it he looked out in the living room, searching for her. He found her sitting sound asleep on the floor, her back to the couch with her cell phone in her hand. He smiled at the sight.

Deciding not to disturb her he only took the cover from the pile on the floor and tucked it around her. He gently took her cell phone and put it on the floor beside her and moved a strand of hair out of her face. Then he took a shower and started making breakfast, assuming she would want coffee when she woke up.

He was just about to pour the eggs in a frying pan when she appeared in the doorway. She just stood there watching him, as if she didn't know what to do. He glanced over at her, trying to read her expression. A bit creeped out by her silence he poured her a cup of coffee and walked over to her.

"There will be eggs in a minute," he said, reaching out the cup and looking her in the eyes, trying to make contact. She only took the cup, staying silent and distant. He sighed before looking down and walking back to the stove, stirring the eggs.

"I called my mom," she said suddenly, sitting down at the table.

"Oh," he said, a bit hesitantly and turned around, facing her again.

"I woke up early and I couldn't sleep. I started thinking, about your…story…and I started feeling so bad for how I treated my mom last year. I'm so thankful for everything she has done for me, all the compromises she has made and for just always being there. I can't even imagine not having that and I don't know what I would have done if I didn't. I had to call her, I just wanted to talk to her and I didn't want to wake you up, so I went out to the living room." She took a deep breath, looking up and meeting his gaze. "I'm sorry I disappeared."

"It's okay," he said, smiling at her. "You want breakfast?" he asked, motioning to the stove.

"Yes, please," she smiled, looking up expectantly.

"So, what did Lorelai say?" he asked as he started stacking food on two plates.

"Well, she started complaining about me ruining her alone time with Luke in the diner storeroom," she started, her expression turning slightly disturbed as she said it. "I just realized I really don't want to know anything about that," she continued, shaking her head as if to rid herself of the thought.

"Second that," he said, sitting down in the chair beside her and putting down the plates on the table. "But it is a pretty good make out place," he added, smirking and raising an eyebrow at her.

"That it is," she agreed, blushing as she thought back to all the times they had snuck away there. "I bet mom doesn't really want to think about hat either," she added after a seconds thought, smiling at him.

"Probably not," he agreed, smiling back at her.

"She wanted to know if we had done any touristy things yet," she continued. "Then she started listing all the stuff I should do while I was here, and let me tell you, that list was long." Her smile widened as she remembered her mother's excited voice. "And she wanted to know if we were doing anything she wouldn't approve of. She almost sounded a bit disappointed when I said no," she finished, digging into her food.

"You didn't…" he started, but trailed off when he didn't know how to finish the though.

"No, I didn't tell her anything you told me," she said, glancing up at him again and catching the relieved look in his eyes.

"So, what touristy things did you decide to drag me to today?" he asked after a second, joining her attack on the food.

* * *

"Wow," was the only thing she could think of saying when they three hours later walked out on the top of the Empire State Building. She had begged for almost an hour before he finally gave in, agreeing to take her there. With a firm hold of his hand she dragged him over to the railing.

Watching her he quickly forgot all his protests, the never ending line, the floor in the lobby that almost made him sea sick and even the small fortune he paid to get up. The amazed look on her face as she looked out over the city and her smile as she tore her eyes away for a second was well worth all of it.

He pulled her in front of him and snaked his arms around her waist, leaning her back against his chest. Holding her close he kissed her temple and looked out over the city together with her. As they stood there he felt some of her excitement filling him. Whispering in her ear he started pointing out the sights to her, moving slowly around the tower.

"Thank you so much," she exclaimed when they emerged back to the street, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him.

"Welcome," he mumbled against her lips, not able to stop the grin that fought its way onto his face. Watching her he realized he'd gladly go up in that building as many times she wanted to if it made her that happy. Deciding he didn't particularly care how sappy that made him sound he pulled her closer and kissed her back passionately.

* * *

That day they zigzagged their way over central Manhattan, walked over Times Square, strolled around in Central Park, window shopped on Madison Avenue and stopped to eat more times than he thought possible. Finally she was too tired to walk another step and he almost had to carry her back to the apartment.

Once inside she fell onto the couch, not having enough energy to move an inch. "Why does it have to be so big?" she complained into the armrest.

Laughing he helped her off with her shoes and coat and placed her a little more comfortably on the couch. Shaking his head he then went out to the kitchen to make coffee. Just as he thought it soon made her come to life again. The rest of the night they spent curled up together on the couch watching more old movies they found in the apartment.

* * *

"Why did you stay?" she asked sleepily as she lay snuggled up against him in the guest room bed.

"Stay where?" he mumbled, not sure where her mind had wandered off to.

"In Stars Hollow, when you first got there. If you really hated it that much, why did you stay?" she asked, moving slightly so she could look at him.

"You really have to ask that?" he asked after a moment, looking at her pointedly, completely awake now.

"Me… You stayed because of me…" she said, not even bothering making it a question. The look in his eyes was more than enough. "I…I don't…" she trailed off, not knowing what she was trying to say.

"Are you really that surprised?" he asked and laughed a little before continuing. "The whole town probably knew. It sounds really stupid, but any doubt I might have had about staying vanished the first time I walked into your room."

"You really did mean everything you said when you came to my dorm? Didn't you?" she asked after studying him for a moment.

"Yes," he said simply. "Except the New York part. That was just stupid," he mumbled into her hair before gently kissing her temple. "And I'm definitely telling you too much this week. It can't be healthy."

"You don't know what happened after that, do you?" she asked uncertainly, not sure what possessed her to go there.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Not sure how to interpret the slight tremble in her voice he pulled away to look at her. "Know about what?" he wondered, searching her face.

"There are some things that happened before Logan that I didn't tell you about. You told me all about you. It's only fair you know everything about me," she said, ignoring his question and drawing away some more to look at him. "And I don't want you to hear from anyone else." She sighed and turned her head to look up at the ceiling.

"At the test run for moms Inn, I… I did something really stupid. You're probably gonna hate me for it." She took a deep breath and rolled over to her back completely before continuing. "I… I slept with Dean," she choked out, closing her eyes and covering her face with her hands, not wanting to see his reaction. She couldn't shut out his sharp intake of breath though.

"I was so confused and he told me he loved me and that things weren't working with Lindsay and it felt safe and I don't know… I tried to defend it to mom when she got home and more or less caught us, but I couldn't come up with a really good reason even then. I told her I hated her and then we did it again. I suppose I was trying to justify it to myself, making myself believe that it wasn't a mistake. But I just couldn't. Then I went to Europe with Grandma over the summer. I wrote him a letter saying that I couldn't do it anymore, but Lindsay found it and somehow we ended up together. It didn't last very long though and he broke up with me again. That time I only felt relieved, but I was already too far from who I used to be and I didn't even notice it."

She finally stopped, letting her sobs out, not able to control them any longer. She suddenly noticed that he was lying right beside her again. She hadn't been aware that he moved, too concentrated on talking. She felt his fingers lightly brush some stray strands of hair out of her face before gently turning her head towards him. She felt his breath on her face before he kissed her softly, his hand still cradling her cheek lightly.

"I could never hate you," he whispered and pulled her close to him again, still kissing her gently, tasting her tears. She gratefully returned his kisses, relaxing into his arms.

"Why aren't you mad at me or something?" she asked, a bit freaked out by his lack of reproach.

"You didn't judge me or hate me after I told you my story. How could I possibly hate you?" he asked, sounding surprised and almost offended by her question.

"But you hate him," she said, looking at him and still not really believing his reaction was real.

"Yes, I do. But that doesn't change anything," he said, meeting her gaze, a sincere look in his eyes. "Except I might hate him even more," he added as an afterthought, the corners of his mouth curling slightly into a smirk.

She couldn't help but laugh at his comment and leaned in and kissed him sweetly. She pulled back again for a second and met his gaze before kissing him again, this time more forcefully. He kissed her back, pulling her close to him. She rolled over to her back again, pulling him with her. They deepened the kiss and she started tugging at the T-shirt he was wearing, dragging it up over his back.

"Are you sure?" he asked, not actually wanting her to stop but feeling the need to ask.

"Yes," she breathed, kissing him again. "Why?" she asked after a moment, looking at him. "Don't you want…?" she started, getting worried.

"Of course I do," he said quickly, cutting her off. He smiled at her and leaned down to kiss her again. "I just don't want you to have any regrets about us this time," he added softly after a moment.

"Me neither," she said, pulling him down for another kiss, this time successfully yanking the T-shirt over his head.

* * *

She fell asleep that night securely wrapped in his arms and with a content smile that still lingered when she woke up. Opening her eyes she found him looking at her, smiling with a look in his eyes she could only describe as loving.

"Morning beautiful," he whispered and kissed her nose.

"Morning," she mumbled and cuddled closer to him, enjoying the feeling of skin against skin. "I could definitely get used to waking up like this," she said into his chest and felt him shiver from her breath.

"Hmm," he agreed, kissing her temple. He gently stroked his hand over her back and mumbled something that she almost caught into her hair.

"What was that?" she asked, not sure she had heard right. Holding her breath she waited to see what he would say.

"I love you," he repeated, this time loud enough for her to hear clearly.

Grinning madly she broke out of his grasp, pushed him down on his back and kissed him intensely. Before he could really respond she broke away, still grinning. "I love you," she said, looking into his eyes, for the first time in a long while not doubting her feelings. With eyes sparkling and nearly matching her grin he pulled her down again.

* * *

It took them another two hours to get up and shower and then they spent most of the day in the apartment, only going out to refill the stash of junk food. When he went to start dinner she hurriedly called her mother and smiling brightly changed her no from the previous day to a yes.

The rest of their stay in the city went by fast and all too soon they once again stood in the overcrowded Port Authority. They had been to every place she could think of to visit, her with never ceasing enthusiasm and him with protests that felt less and less sincere with time.

With a last kiss she finally boarded the bus that would take her back to New Haven. She couldn't help but smile as the bus rolled out of the city. They had talked more during the last couple of days and she finally felt like she knew him. Not the image she had known earlier but the real him. Now she only had to get to see him again soon.

He stood watching the bus roll away and didn't move for a long time. Walking away to retrieve his car he felt relieved. Relieved that she finally knew everything he hadn't been able to tell her before. And he too couldn't quite stop the smile that stubbornly kept invading his face. Not that he really tried that hard. Driving out of the city he started planning his next visit to Connecticut.


	9. Chapter 8 Pleasant Surprises

**Not Dreaming**

* * *

**A/N:** Yes, I'm updating. It took a while longer than usual. I got hung up on a lot of other stuff. And I sort of have been writing two chapters at the same time. It gets confusing. Anyway, here's a new chapter.

* * *

**Chapter ****8. Pleasant Surprises**

* * *

It was a spur of the moment thing. Something that came to her mind suddenly and wouldn't go away no matter how hard se tried. She knew it made her seem pathetic, but she really didn't care that much. It wasn't like she was missing a lot of work anyway. She hadn't been able to concentrate on her schoolwork for the last couple of days and she didn't have to be at work until Monday

She moved again, trying in vain to find a better position on the floor, or at least a less uncomfortable one. Sighing she closed the book in her hands and put it back in her purse. It was no use anyway. She had been sitting there for almost an hour now and she had read half a page at the most. Shifting again she looked at her watch for what seemed like the tenth time in the last minute.

Why couldn't she have waited to take a later bus? Why had she insisted on going at once? It wasn't like she was in a hurry. In fact she would probably have to sit here for another hour or so. She closed her eyes, trying to stop her mind from wandering. Her stomach started growling slightly and she sighed again, angry at herself for forgetting to eat something on her way.

That was how he found her forty minutes later when he got home from work. Except he didn't know it was her. From New York he was used to strange people sleeping in the corridors, but so far he hadn't come across anyone here. Until today that is. A bit cautiously he drew closer to the figure on the floor, a bit puzzled and wondering why it was sitting outside his door.

Getting closer he got a strange feeling of recognition and looked a bit closer. Suddenly a smile crept onto his face and he shook his head in wonderment. What was she doing here? Outside his door, asleep, on a Thursday afternoon? Carefully stooping down in font of her he smoothed the hair out of her face and traced his fingers over her cheek.

Startled by the touch she jumped slightly in her place, jerking her head up to see what had woken her. Still a bit confused and not quite awake yet it took a few seconds for her eyes to focus and process the information. When she did her face broke out in a gigantic smile and she flung her arms around him, almost making them both fall over on the floor.

Hugging her back he slowly pulled her up with him to a standing position to avoid any more close calls of toppling over. "What are you doing here?" he asked, still confused.

She didn't answer at first, only took his face in her hands and kissed him, leaning back against the wall. Breathless she pulled away after a couple minutes, still pressed against the wall by his body. "I missed you," she mumbled, looking up in his eyes.

"Huh," he smirked before claiming her mouth again. Holding her with one arm he searched his pocket for the keys. Finally finding them he located the key hole beside them and struggled for a second before fitting the key in and unlocking the door. Once opened they stumbled inside, still kissing. After closing the door he pressed her up against it, his hands wandering over her body and his mouth finding its way down her throat.

It wasn't long before her purse was discarded on the floor, closely followed by both of their coats and, after some struggling, two pairs of shoes. Almost tripping over a pile of books on the living room floor they made their way over to the bedroom, pulling clothes out of the way as they went. With a thump they finally landed on the bed.

* * *

"I missed you too," he whispered an hour later, holding her in his arms and listening to her breathing gradually slowing down. He smiled at the unintelligible mumble he got in response and tightened his hold of her.

She snuggled closer, too comfortable to even think about moving. Her stomach had other plans though as it soon started growling at her. She sighed and tried to ignore it, but after almost eight hours without food that was a lot easier said than done. Groaning she buried her head in his neck.

"When was the last time you ate?" he asked, holding back a laugh and disentangling his hand from her hair.

"Ten," she mumbled, still holding onto him, not wanting to let go. Her answer was almost drowned out by another loud growl.

"And you're still alive?" he inquired amazed, earning an offended grunt. Laughing at her reaction he kissed her temple gently and slowly pulled one of his arms out of their cocoon. Rolling over to his back he reached for the cordless phone that was conveniently placed at the bedside table after their conversation last night. "What do you want?" he asked, looking over at her questioningly.

"Whatever gets here fastest," she answered, smiling brightly at him. When he just kept looking at her she sighed and glared back. "Pizza," she answered after a second and looked pointedly at the phone when he didn't dial immediately.

"Okay then," he said before dialing a number and ordering two large pizzas with everything. "They'll be here in fifteen minutes," he said as he put the phone down and turned back to her.

"Too long," she complained in mock horror. "I'll starve before that," she whined and pouted pathetically at him.

"You'll have to survive for fifteen more minutes," he said and shook his head at her. "I wasn't exactly expecting company and I have absolutely nothing eatable at home." Pouting more she tried to hit him on the arm, but he caught her hand and pinned her down on the bed. "What did I tell you about practice?" he asked, laughing at her fruitless attempts to break lose. Giving up she smiled sweetly at him and raised her head high enough to kiss him.

They were both startled by the door bell that rung almost exactly at the promised time. Reluctantly he got up and searched the room for his boxers. Pulling them on he smirked down at her, laying on the bed, half covered with a sheet, looking up at him. Looking around again he found his jeans just outside the doorway. Pulling them on too he made his way over to the front door, dragging a hand through his hair in an attempt to make it look less disheveled.

Before he got there the door bell rung again and he hurriedly opened it to keep the delivery guy from leaving. Casting a quick eye out the door he saw a guy around 17 with two pizza boxes, headphones on and an impatient expression. "I'm just gonna find my wallet," he said and caught the raised eyebrow before stooping down and retrieving his coat from the floor.

By the time he had gotten the money out the delivery guy had taken in his appearance and the clothes strewn behind him and was smirking suggestively at him. He gave him the money and took the boxes, ignoring the look and raised an eyebrow, silently asking if there was something else, before closing the door.

Shaking his head he made his way back to the bedroom, smiling to himself. Returning he found her sitting on the bed, wearing one of his T-shirts, and looking over at him expectantly. He climbed onto the bed beside her and almost didn't have time to sit down before she had grabbed one of the pizza boxes and dug into the first slice. Putting the other box down he watched how she downed it in less than a minute.

"Should I order more?" he asked when the first box was empty and she was still gulping them down. He had eaten one slice so far, the rest of the time he had watched her in amazement. He had seen her hungry before, but never to this extent. Shaking his head he reached for the next box.

When there was one slice left she fell back on the bed and closed her eyes, finally unable to eat any more. Smiling down at her he moved the boxes to the floor and lay down beside her. Soon he heard her breathing even out, signaling that she was drifting off to sleep. Resting his head on his arm he watched her slumber peacefully.

She didn't sleep for more than ten minutes and when she woke up they took a shower, spraying almost the whole bathroom with water in the process. Emerging from the bathroom she suddenly realized what she had forgotten before she hopped on the bus. Smiling sheepishly at him she asked if he had any clothes she could use, since she didn't have anything other than what she had on when she got there.

"You are tiny," she stated when she had put on the clothes he had taken out for her. "These could be mine," she said, gesturing down at herself and the clothes that fit almost too well. He didn't answer, only looked her over and smirked at how good she looked in his clothes.

* * *

"So, what caused this rather surprising visit?" he asked when they a while later were sitting snuggled together on the couch with a cup of coffee each. "Not that I'm complaining, just the opposite in fact, but shouldn't you be in school getting some of that extra work done?"

"I told you, I missed you," she mumbled half into her coffee. Sensing his still inquiring eyes on her she looked up at him. "I couldn't concentrate," she said. "I tried really hard, but I just can't concentrate on anything. I can't even remember what I was supposed to be studying this week. So, instead of sitting alone at my desk in a more or less deserted dorm and staring at a book I decided to do something about it."

"And coming here will help your studying how?" he asked, tilting her head up to his with two fingers and kissing her, careful not to spill the coffee. When she didn't show any tendencies to answer the question he pulled back and smirked at her.

"I don't know?" she offered, half stating, half questioning and looked at him, taking a big gulp of her coffee.

"How long were you planning on staying then?" he inquired next.

"I don't know," she answered again, this time more of a statement than a question and looked at him as if searching for an answer.

"There hasn't been that much studying going on so far. Did you even bring any books by the way?"

"Um, yes…I think it's in my purse," she said, sounding far from convinced. "I was going to the library to see if I could get more done there. I don't even know if it would have worked 'cause I never got that far. I jumped on a bus here instead. Hence the lack of packing."

"I was a bit curious about that," he said. "You do know I have to go to work tomorrow, right?" he asked then, sounding a bit regretful.

"I could come with you," she suggested almost instantly, her eyes lighting up at the prospect of seeing where he worked and with whom. After downing her coffee she put the cup down on the table and looked back at him with expectance shining from her.

"You want to come with me to work?" he asked, surprised at her obvious excitement at the idea. "You actually want to follow me to work and sit there while I try to edit a script from a guy who, although writes like a god, has no idea how to spell?" As her smile only grew wider at his questioning he gave up. "You do know I will get even less done with you there, right?" he asked as a last try to get out of it.

Not that the idea of spending tomorrow with her wasn't appealing, but he wasn't exactly sure it would be a good idea to bring her to work. So far he had managed to keep the others more or less out of his private life. If he brought her with him there would be no chance of keeping anything to himself anymore.

Putting down his coffee cup on the table he sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. It only took her a second to realize he had given in and fling her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. If possible he was even more perplexed at her reaction this time, not really sure why she was so exited about this. Nevertheless he hugged her back, happy to have been able to make her happy, even if he didn't really know how.

"Just so you know, I start at seven," he whispered into her ear.

* * *

She was in fact already awake when the alarm went off the next morning. It was very rare that her internal clock actually worked in the mornings, and even less usual that she listened to it, but this morning was a special occasion. And it was worth waking up a couple minutes early to watch him sleep beside her. They hadn't spent that many nights together, but it already felt completely natural. That was one thing she had missed the most in the few days since their stay in New York.

She smiled as he groaned when the alarm started beeping and watched with amusement as he reached out an arm and expertly hit the irritating clock. She continued to smile as he snuggled back under the covers and drew her closer to him again, almost without waking up. She liked that his mind automatically knew she was there. Snuggling closer to him she waited for the alarm to go off again. It took two more times before he finally opened his eyes.

"Why did you keep me awake so late last night?" he groaned, his voice raspy with sleep. "And why are you awake?" he asked, suddenly noticing her far from sleepy appearance.

"Good morning to you too," she said, smiling happily and kissed him on the cheek before getting out of bed and heading for the bathroom.

* * *

Emerging after a quick shower she found him in the kitchen drinking coffee, surprisingly awake considering how he looked ten minutes earlier. Gratefully accepting the coffee cup he held out to her she looked down at her clothes, the same she had worn last night. "Can I go like this?" she asked a bit uncertain.

"Of course you can," he said, looking her over again, the dark blue T-shirt and black pants held up by a belt. "There might be some questions as to why you're wearing my clothes, but they will disappear in all the others." He smirked at the look she gave him. "You'll feel just like you're home," he reassured her.

She just kept looking at him as he smiled at her and went to take a shower, wondering what this day would actually be like. The prospect of getting the third degree from his co-workers really wasn't that appealing, but she couldn't very well back out now. And it couldn't be that bad, could it? She was used to Stars Hollow after all and there couldn't be many people in the world that was nosier than that town.

* * *

Walking into the small, cramped office at exactly seven after grabbing a sandwich each at the corner shop she instantly started to reevaluate that statement. She had Jess' arm around her and she could feel him tense beside her as they neared the door. Looking over at him curiously she saw him take a deep breath and closing his eyes for a second before opening the door. Five seconds later she knew why.

She wasn't even sure they had moved, but suddenly there were four guys, all of them somewhere around 25, standing in front of them, looking curiously at her. Before she had any time to breathe or even say hi they were bombarded with questions. They came so fast there was no chance to catch them all.

After a while they seemed to realize they weren't getting any answers and stopped firing away just as abruptly as they had started. Looking over them once more they obviously decided to start at the beginning. Soon she knew their names and was presented to them as Jess' girlfriend, at which they seemed curiously delighted.

"So, you're the one that's responsible for all the girls we know cursing his name before they go to sleep every night?" the one called Eric asked her, sending Jess a meaningful look. At her inquiring glance he just shook his head and glared at Eric, who only smiled back, looking pleased with himself.

Eric seemed to be the one in charge, although she was far from sure of that. He also appeared to be the oldest, if only by a year or so. He was by far the nosiest guy she had ever met, even worse than Taylor.

Mike was the youngest of the four, only a couple months older than Jess, and he was the one that Jess had initially brought up his book to.

Then there was Jacob, the father of two kids, Sarah five and Daniel two years old. Pictures of the two were hanging over his desk, almost covering the whole wall.

Last there was Kevin, the owner of the apartment Jess was living in. He was apparently the joker in the group and she soon found out that he made sure there was never a dull moment.

When she had answered, or avoided answering, all of their questions as to who she was, what she was doing and everything else they could come up with, including why she was wearing Jess' clothes she felt exhausted. She apparently got their approval though and they gradually went to work with whatever they were doing at the moment.

Grateful that the inquiring was finally over she followed Jess over to a desk, completely covered in stacks of paper, in the far off corner. After clearing a small space in the middle of it he sat down in the chair and, with a deep sigh, put his head down on the desk. She couldn't help but laugh, at which he raised his head slightly and glared up at her, before laying his head down again.

"Hey Rory!" she heard Mike call out just as she was about to ask what all the papers were. "You don't happen to know anything about the new book?" he continued, sounding both curious and hopeful.

Feeling bewildered as to what book he was referring to she was about to ask when she heard Jess muttering curses under his breath beside her. She looked down at him and found him looking back at her, almost pleading, mouthing a 'no'. Instantly curious to know what this was all about she nodded at him and smiled a little.

"Um…no," she said, turning to the others, shaking her head. "Nothing at all," she added and shrugged before turning back to Jess, looking at him questioningly. He mouthed a 'thank you' and took her hand, rubbing his thumb over her palm gently, silently promising to tell her later.

* * *

She actually got some reading done that day, in between watching Jess as he sat scribbling in a notebook while reading a script that obviously made him both happy and infuriated. At one point she snatched one of the sheets he had gone through and knew why. It was handwritten to begin with, the writing was chaotic to say the least and quite a few times you had to guess the word. But at the same time she almost fell in love with the story from reading that short page. She couldn't wait to read the whole story, without all the corrections and red marks littering it.

At lunch they all went to a small restaurant around the corner and she got to meet Kevin's girlfriend Megan, who worked in a music store nearby. She instantly liked her and was relieved when she didn't get a second degree that day. That is until she saw the silent exchange between her and Kevin. Not that she was surprised though, and despite the prospect of half of Philadelphia knowing everything about her by the next day she really had a good time that day.

* * *

"So, what is this I hear about a new book?" she asked as soon as they entered the apartment, finally not able to hold in her curiosity anymore.

Sighing he gave her a glare and went into the bedroom where he pulled out a notebook from under a pile of books on the desk before slumping down on the bed. He motioned for her to come sit beside him and opened the notebook to somewhere in the middle before giving in to her. Looking down at it she knew right away that she had seen it before. It was the same notebook she had found in the bookshelf on her first visit.

After a quick glance at him she looked down at the open page again and smiled at the familiar handwriting. It didn't take long to see that what she was looking at seemed to be some sort of outline of a story. Her curiosity growing she glanced up at him again and when he nodded at her she turned the page. What she found was bits and pieces of text, put together in no apparent order. After reading through two pages she hastily went through the rest of the pages, finding that almost the whole notebook was filled with similar fragments.

"It's how I work," she heard him say beside her and startled at the unexpected sound of his voice.

"You're writing a new book?" she asked and looked over at him, a gigantic smile on her face.

"Trying to," he clarified, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, more curious than anything else.

"I…I didn't want to say anything before I knew if it was going anywhere. I guess I didn't want to disappoint you if it didn't," he said, laying down on the bed and closing his eyes.

"So, what's it really about?" she asked after a second's thought, smiling down at him. He opened his eyes and smirked at her and she barely had time to react before he had pulled her down beside him.

* * *

She ended up staying the weekend and by the time she went home she had read, and actually understood most of, the confusing draft. He hadn't allowed her do comment on it though, saying something about wanting it to be intelligible first. On her inquiring about the supposedly heartbroken girls he had also told her a rather cynical version of his co-workers tries to set him up. She almost felt bad for the poor girls, almost being the key word.

Megan had taken her out to buy new clothes and she now had quite a few new things to take home. She had also been introduced to the nightlife in Philadelphia after both she and Jess had been dragged out of the apartment by Mike and Kevin on Saturday night. And she had spent many comfortable hours lying in Jess' arms, just enjoying being close to him.

All in all it had been a really good couple of days and as she sat on the bus back to New Haven on Sunday night she felt confident that she would be able to do some actual work. Looking out over the landscape flashing by she smiled to herself and pulled out a pen and paper. Settling back in her seat she started making a plan for her studying over the coming weeks.


	10. Chapter 9 Crazy Normalcy

**Not Dreaming**

* * *

**A/N:** So… This was originally planned to be chapter 8, but then you all know what got in the way of that. But…that meant that this chapter was more or less done when I posted the other. And after a couple days computer trouble…here it is!

Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed this! A bunch of hugs to all of you! :D

* * *

**Chapter ****9. Crazy Normalcy**

* * *

He was back at Yale again, this time actually knowing where he was going and what to expect when he got there. He was picking Rory up on his way to Stars Hollow. That's why he at the moment was leaning against a wall outside a class room waiting for the door to open. He had been standing there for the past hour or so, more or less staring at the opposite wall, cursing himself for not bringing anything to read with him.

He hadn't been able to sleep that morning and finally given up and gotten up at six. Well aware that her class didn't let out until one in the afternoon he had still left his apartment an hour later. That's why he had been there at half past eleven, despite traffic around New York and a stop to eat on the way. And that's why he was starting to get more and more annoyed at the clock that just seemed to go slower and slower the longer he stood there.

The thought of doing something in the mean time, or at least get a book from the car, had crossed his mind, but he had dismissed them just as fast as they appeared. What if the class let out early? What if he missed her? What if he didn't find his way back? Okay, so they were all pretty stupid reasons, but reasons none the less. And they kept him firmly in place, leaning against that wall.

Another five minutes had passed and it was only about fifteen minutes of waiting left, assuming the class let out in time. He didn't think he could stand the waiting much longer. He had never been good at waiting. Once in a while students walked by, alone or in groups, and looked at him curiously, as if to see what he was doing there. He guessed he didn't exactly look like he belonged; that's at least how he felt. He shrugged the thought off and ignored the others as they passed by.

The long wait had left him with plenty of time to think. That was about the only thing there was to do anyway. At the moment the primary thought in his mind was once again the reason for this visit. He still couldn't really grasp the idea and it had now been a couple days since Luke asked him. Him of all people. Of course he had said yes, how could he not? After everything Luke had done for him, after all the crap he put him through. That didn't mean it made any more sense though.

On the upper hand it did present a good reason to go to Stars Hollow. Not that he needed one, but the guys at work would probably like an actual excuse better than the alternative. At second thought he wasn't sure though, since they had seemed to be extremely interested in all the details concerning his private life. After the week in New York they had been hanging after him and asking too many questions he didn't want to answer. And since he brought Rory to work their questions had, if possible, been even more impertinent.

He had to admit it was a step up from them dragging him out to meet their girlfriends' friends though. During his time with them he had developed a slight loathing for anything involving the word 'blind'. Especially if it was combined with the word 'date'.

Of course, they were never officially blind dates. Sometimes there just happened to be an extra girl tagging along. And then he just happened to end up beside her. And the others just happened to remember something else they had to do. And it always led to a lot of awkward silence and some mindless small talk on her part before he ended up leaving early. He just couldn't make himself even seem interested. To be honest he didn't think he would recognize any of them if he ran into them somewhere.

Thankfully those nights had come to an end after his last visit to Stars Hollow. After he came back, unable to stop smiling and looking like he was actually happy for once, they had started to focus all of their energy on finding out anything they could about the reason for his mood change. They were starting to get more and more annoyed by his lack of answers and his vacation in New York hadn't helped at all. He wasn't sure if Rory's visit had really helped either. The constant stream of questions had only changed character a bit, and not for the better.

And now he was using his uncle's upcoming wedding as an excuse to go to Stars Hollow. Of course it wasn't all an excuse, he actually wanted to be there for Luke. That he would see Rory was just a bonus, granted a really big one, but not the main reason he was going. Right? Okay, so maybe it was, but who needed to know that?

And it didn't matter that it was still almost two months to the actual wedding day. It didn't matter that he didn't really have to help out with the planning, at least not beyond organizing a bachelor party for Luke.

The door in front of him suddenly opened and a flood of students came bursting out. Everyone looked a bit relieved that the lecture was over, perhaps the last for the week. Keeping his relaxed stance against the wall he scanned the faces in search of the only one he wanted to see. She appeared in the middle of the hoard and he smiled despite his efforts. His smile grew wider when her eyes lit up as she spotted him.

He soon found himself pressed up against the wall, caught in a passionate kiss. Though a bit startled by her more than warm greeting he wasn't going to complain. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her even closer and deepened the kiss. It wasn't until several minutes later, when the kiss had slowed down, that he noticed the people staring at them. Ignoring them he broke the kiss, still holding her close and looked into her eyes, catching his breath.

"Hi," she said, smiling at him, her hands leisurely playing with the hair at his neck, enjoying the soft feeling.

"Hi," he echoed before closing his eyes again and capturing her lips in a soft kiss, a hand gently caressing her cheek. He smiled into the kiss as she almost seemed to melt in his arms and tightened his hold of her.

Eventually they loosened their hold of each other and she blushed as she for the first time noticed that they were far from alone in the hallway. She buried her face in his chest, wanting to close out the rest of the world for a little while longer.

"I thought you'd come to my dorm later," she said, head still more or less buried in his jacket. "Not that I'm complaining that you're here…" she added quickly, as to not sound ungrateful.

"I kinda gathered that," he said, an obvious smile in his voice. "And I couldn't sleep this morning," he offered as an explanation after a second.

"How long have you been here?" she asked, finally pulling back to actually look at him. Seeing the almost embarrassed look in his eyes she smiled knowingly to herself. "You've been here at least an hour, haven't you," she said, more a statement than a question and she only had to look into his eyes to see the answer. "Good thing the lecture ended in time then," she concluded, smiling brightly and kissing him on the cheek.

He smiled back at her and then looked around them briefly, frowning a little. "Maybe we should get out of here, before we become a permanent attraction," he suggested, pointing to the students walking by, all of them trying not to appear to be looking.

"Okay," she agreed, once again feeling her cheeks coloring, and took a small step back, releasing her hold of him. She was just about to turn in the direction of her dorm when she suddenly remembered something. "Where are my books?" she asked, sounding just as confused as she was.

"No idea," he said, taking a step towards her, ready to follow, when his foot hit something on the floor. Looking down he smirked at the sight. "Um, they yours?" he asked, pointing towards the books strewn over the floor, the smirk growing wider.

Not answering she looked down, startled by the sight. She couldn't even remember dropping them, but obviously she had. Hurriedly she crouched down to pick them up, for the third time feeling herself reddening. She smiled at him, feeling a bit embarrassed, as he bent down to help her gather the books scattered around them.

When they ten minutes later entered her dorm room they were both laughing. They had picked the books up and hurried out of the hallway, away from the curious and amused stares of the passing students. Hand in hand they had almost run all the way, trying not to laugh at the situation, but not succeeding.

Once inside they managed to maneuver themselves to the couch before falling down on it, laughing uncontrollably. It took almost another ten minutes before they had sobered up enough to catch their breath. At that point she was more or less lying on top of him, her head automatically finding its favorite resting place on his shoulder.

"I can't believe you dropped your books," he said, shifting a little to find a more comfortable position and tangling a hand in her hair.

"I had other things on my mind," she mumbled, still a bit embarrassed about that. "You should feel flattered."

"Oh, I do," he said, the smirk evident in his voice.

* * *

It took them another hour before they were on their way to Stars Hollow, most of which had been spent on that couch. It had been a phone call from Lorelai that finally made them get up. They hurriedly threw some of her things into a bag, grabbed a doughnut each and scrambled into his car, once in a while stealing a kiss.

Almost as soon as they arrived in town they were greeted by Lorelai and all of a sudden he remembered what exactly Luke had said they would be doing that weekend. He hadn't paid that much attention to the details of the visit after the split second it took for him to agree on coming. Parking the car outside Luke's he wished he had. They were trying out clothes for the wedding.

He sighed as he got out of the car, receiving a glare from Rory. Smirking back at her he watched her almost run into Lorelai's waiting arms. Slowly he made his way around the car, still not entirely sure what to expect from Lorelai. He wasn't quite prepared for the mischievous smile she directed at him once she had released her daughter. When Rory blushed as she met his questioning gaze he suddenly realized that Lorelai probably knew a lot more than he wanted her to about the developments of their relationship.

Groaning inwardly and trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling the knowledge gave him he met Lorelai's smile with a matching smirk. Just for the sake of it he added a 'Huh' before walking up to them and carelessly draping an arm over Rory's shoulders. At Lorelai's baffled expression he turned the smirk into an innocent smile, raising his hands in defense. Sensing a movement beside him he quickly took a step to the side, avoiding Rory's elbow from hitting him in the side.

"Sorry, too tempting," he said, trying not to laugh.

Lorelai stared at him for a couple of seconds before shaking her head, mumbling something under her breath. Still shaking her head and with a wondering look at her daughter she then stalked off to the diner. Still laughing he waited until she was inside before turning to Rory, who was still standing beside him.

"You just had to, hadn't you?" she asked, trying to sound annoyed, but not completely able to keep the laughter out of her voice and amusement out of her eyes.

"I had to do something," he defended himself. "I can't just stand by and let you two talk about me behind my back without returning the favor in some way." He looked back at her with an innocent smile that could almost be real and she couldn't hold back her laughter any more.

"I missed you," she said when she could breathe again and gave him a kiss on the cheek before dragging him with her into the diner.

When they entered Lorelai was already sitting at the counter with a large cup of coffee in front of her. She was in the middle of complaining about the past events to Luke, who tried to ignore her while taking a customer's order. Still laughing they sat down at the counter, receiving a frown from Luke and an offended snort from Lorelai. Neither of them seemed to notice though as he went to get them each a cup of coffee.

* * *

Lorelai eventually recovered and all four of them spent the evening together watching movies, eating too much junk food, to Luke's dismay, and talking. It took him a while to identify the strange feeling he got as the evening wore on. Finally he decided that it was a feeling of belonging, being a part of something. He finally felt like he had a family, granted a very strange one, but a family none the less. Of course there was still awkwardness between him and Lorelai, he doubted it would ever go away completely, but they had both agreed on trying to start over.

When the last movie ended Luke had long since gone to bed, tired after a long day at work. Beside him Rory was beginning to doze off too and he gently nudged her to wake her up while Lorelai went to shut off the TV. When Rory didn't show any signs of either wanting to wake up or let go of him he looked up at Lorelai questioningly.

Although they were both far from kids anymore he still felt like he should ask before he stayed over. Lorelai didn't seem to have any objections on them being together this time, but he really didn't feel like taking any chances. With a nod and a barely contained laugh Lorelai went up the stairs and he picked up Rory from the couch and carried her to her room.

Getting them both more suitable dressed for bed proved to be harder than expected. He was almost convinced she was being difficult on purpose. He didn't really look forward to spending the night on her small bed either, but it was a lot better than the couch. And the alternative would have been going back to the diner alone and that definitely wasn't appealing. He finally managed to lay them both down under the cover and she immediately snuggled up against him. Smiling into her hair he settled in comfortably and soon they were both asleep.

* * *

The next day he soon discovered that finding clothes that both Gilmore's could agree on would be a tedious business. Normally he didn't care that much how they looked, as long as they weren't pink or had any holes that shouldn't be there. Okay, maybe he cared more than that, but this was just ridiculous.

They had spent five hours of futile searching making both him and Luke all but ready for mutiny. Not only had they been forced to go through countless of stores with far too arrogant personnel. They had also had to try numerous of different suits, tail coats and every other kind of clothing they could think of.

And nothing had been good enough. There was always something that wasn't quite right. Maybe a seam could have been done better. The color was slightly the wrong shade of black. The pockets might be too small, or too big. And if there wasn't anything wrong with the clothes the problem was that it didn't fit both of them. Several times he had thought about just refusing to go into the next store, but one look at the expressions on their faces and he gave in again.

He was in the middle of contemplating how long it would take the latest clerk to have a complete meltdown when he was interrupted by a loud shriek. Almost jumping out of his skin from the shock he turned around to find his girlfriend and her mother happily dancing, or at least trying to, between the displays of clothes. Apparently they had finally decided on something. Letting out a breath of relief he hurried to get into his own clothes, not wanting to have to wear the latest suit any longer than necessary.

He still had no idea what they had picked from everything he had tried on that day. To him everything looked more or less the same. He was silently convinced that this whole day had just been arranged to amuse the Gilmore's. Not that he didn't want them to be happy or have fun, but he wasn't that fond of the idea that it was on his expense.

* * *

When they returned to Stars Hollow he was relieved to hear that there wouldn't be any more clothes searching that weekend. Not caring about the protests from Lorelai he took Rory's hand and pulled her with him up to the apartment above the diner. Once the door was securely closed and locked he breathed a sigh of relief. Still holding her hand he collapsed on the couch, dragging her with him in the fall.

She landed on top of him, giggling at his exaggerated manifestation of exhaustion. When he didn't seem to react she decided to try another approach. Carefully she moved her hand to his waist and let it lay there for a couple seconds, watching him for any sign that he knew what she was up to. Deciding that it was worth a try she quickly started tickling him, still able to find all the right spots.

She didn't get to do it for long though before she found herself pinned down against the couch, her hands firmly held in one of his above her head and his face less than an inch from hers. She had no idea how she ended up there. He smirked down at her and she could feel his other hand travel down her body before slowing down just below her lower ribs. She squirmed to try and get away, but it was no use. It wasn't long before she was begging him to stop and laughing too hard to catch her breath.

When he finally stopped tickling her and she had been able to catch her breath she looked up at him seriously. "Did you ever just have fun when you were a kid?" she asked after contemplating the question for a while.

Surprised by her question he released her from his grasp and sat up on the couch. "What do you mean?" he asked, not sure what she was asking for and not entirely sure how to answer.

"Just…I've been thinking and I can't remember you saying anything about any friends or just being a kid, having fun. Like us just now?" she asked, raising herself beside him.

"I don't know," he said, trying to think of anything, some hidden memory somewhere. "Not really, no," he concluded after a minute.

"You didn't ever have pillow fights, built snow men or played hide and seek?" she asked, trying to wrap her mind over the idea of never having done any of it.

"I don't think so," he said uncertainly. "I mean, I didn't really know any other kids my age until I started school and by that time I was too used to being by myself that I didn't think I needed them. I spent the breaks reading in a corner and went to the bookstore after school." He stopped, thinking for a second again. "Why do you ask?" he wondered, looking at her a bit curiously.

"I don't know really. It just bugged me, I guess," she said, trying to explain what she meant. "I mean, I was always grown up for my age, except last year maybe, but mom always made sure that I had time to be a kid and have fun."

"But I had fun in my corner," he said and pulled her closer to kiss her forehead softly. "I don't think I felt like I missed out on anything. I had my own adventures through all the books I read."

"But you never…" she began, but was cut off as he kissed her. "I just…" she tried when they broke away for a second, but he smiled and silenced her with another kiss. Realizing he wouldn't allow her to talk about it more, at least for the time being, she gave in and kissed him back, for the moment forgetting her previous thoughts.

* * *

Later that evening they went down to the diner for dinner and the rest of the night was spent much like the last. When he sat there on the couch, with Rory snuggled up against him and crying over the end of the movie, he admitted to himself for maybe the first time that he liked this. The utter normalcy of it actually made him happy. And he gradually started to understand the underlying meaning in Rory's question from earlier in the evening.

"You'll have to teach me how to make a snow man some time," he whispered to her, quietly enough that neither Luke nor Lorelai could hear it.

She looked up at him with a bright smile, the movie instantly forgotten, and kissed him sweetly on the cheek. "I'd love to," she whispered back.

"Although, come to think of it, tearing them down is actually quite fun," he whispered, smirking at her.

"Oh, I bet you had fun," she smiled back. "I never did thank you for that, did I?" she asked.

"Nope, you didn't," he confirmed, his smirk growing.

* * *

That night they went back to the diner after he had refused to once again be woken up by Lorelai walking into the room in the morning. That was one experience he very well could do without. Granted, they weren't doing anything other than sleeping, but it was still not his ideal wake up call. She hadn't seemed to enjoy it much more than he did.

Before they went he was pulled to the side by a nervous looking Luke. Watching him curiously he followed his uncle into the kitchen where they proceeded to stand quietly, just watching each other for at least a minute. Finally he couldn't take the weird silence any longer and cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"Right…" Luke began, sounding a bit unsure. "I just wanted to thank you for doing this. You know, putting up with all of Lorelai's stupid ideas and all that. It means a lot to me that you're doing this," he said, smiling a little.

"It's the least I could do," he said, trying to lessen the importance. It felt strange to have someone feel grateful for something he did. He definitely wasn't used to that feeling. "Besides, someone has to keep you sane in all of this, right?" he smirked back, marveling at how good this felt.

Luke nodded a little at him and they stood there for a while just watching each other again. Neither of them really knew what to say, they had never been good with words. But somehow words didn't seem that important. That silent exchange said more than they had ever been able to say before. Finally Luke smiled again and they both nodded a little and exchanged a hug. With a final smirk he turned back to the living room and said good night to Lorelai before he and Rory left for the diner.

* * *

"You do know you have to dance, right?" she asked suddenly the next day as they were on their way back to Yale.

"Did you have to remind me?" he groaned, glaring at her. "Isn't it bad enough that I have to wear a suit and hold a speech? Not to mention that I'll inevitably meet your grandparents?" he asked in a pathetically whiny voice that made her laugh. At his last words she went silent though. "They are coming right? I mean, you've hardly talked about them at all in these past months." He looked over at her questioningly, not sure if it was the right thing to bring it up.

"I don't know actually," she began hesitantly after a long silence. "Mom has hardly talked to them in almost a year, at least not to grandma. I think they're invited, but I don't know. They haven't said anything. Everything is still rather strange after my living there and everything that happened. I've been to a couple Friday night dinner's, but we haven't made it a regular thing again. At least not yet. I don't know if we ever will. It's just awkward, with grandma almost trying to change me into her new daughter or something. I don't know. I guess we'll just have to see." She went quiet again.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "You want to talk about it? I know I'm not their biggest fan, or they mine, at least not your grandmother. I can't really say anything about your grandfather, since I've never officially met him, but… Just, if you want to talk about it, you can. You know that, right?" he said, looking over at her reassuringly and taking her hand in his, squeezing it lightly.

"Yes, I know," she said, offering a small smile. "Thank you. I just need to think about it, or rather not think about it maybe. I don't know. But thank you," she smiled gratefully.

"So, what should we do with the rest of this day?" he asked casually, not so subtly changing the subject. "I don't have to get back for another couple of hours."

"My dorm is all empty tonight…" she said, smiling at him, a light blush coloring her cheeks. He smiled back at her and raised her hand, still in his, to his lips, kissing it gently and turned into the parking place.


	11. Chapter 10 Different Perspectives

**Not Dreaming**

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, this chapter will be kinda different than the others. Mostly because there's no actual interaction between Jess and Rory. Or just very, very little. I just thought it would be appropriate to get another perspective at this point.

I now know how it feels to have a black hole in my head. Unfortunately it positioned itself right over all the ideas I had for this chapter. I'm really sorry it took a while to get this up, but it's finally done. Hopefully I'll be able to get my ideas for future chapter into print soon too.

I'm not sure I like this chapter at all, so forgive me if it's total crap. I just had to get it done and I don't think it ever will be up if I don't post it now.

* * *

**Chapter 10****. Different Perspectives**

* * *

It was two weeks left, two short weeks, and she couldn't stop smiling. At times it almost creeped her out, but then she remembered the reason for her happiness and she didn't care anymore. Everything was perfect lately. It didn't matter if it was raining or cold or that Michel was trying even more than usual to annoy her. She just smiled and let it pass.

It was two weeks left and she stood in her bedroom, their bedroom, staring back at her reflection in the mirror. She let her eyes travel over the dress, the flowing skirts, the bodice that fit her perfectly, the embroidered flowers covering it, the small pearls glittering in the light, the thin straps holding it up. It was simply perfect. She suddenly felt tears starting to form in her eyes, but she just let them fall, continuing to watch her picture through misty eyes.

It was two weeks left and she just couldn't wait. At the same time she wanted this time to continue. She wanted this bubbly feeling of anticipation to last for as long as possible. Her tears were starting to come a little too close to falling down on her dress, so she carefully wiped them away.

The door opened slowly and she smiled even more when Rory appeared in the room. They watched each other through the mirror for a few moments before she turned around and smiled at her daughter. Everything was perfect. She had the best man she could ever ask for and she was marrying him in only two weeks. She had her perfect daughter back and they had never been as close as they were now. Everything was simply perfect.

"It's still perfect!" Rory exclaimed, smiling at her mother and the perfect picture she made.

"I know!" Lorelai smiled happily and twirled around, letting the skirts flow around her.

She had been looking for the perfect dress for almost a month before they found a little hidden store they hadn't seen before. And there it had been, just waiting for her. She had known the moment she saw it that this was The Dress. It was absolutely perfect. Just like everything else.

"You wanna help me out of this?" she asked Rory, gesturing to the soft fabric surrounding her. "I don't want to accidentally ruin it or something," she said, smiling brightly.

It was two weeks left and everything was perfect. Everything was planned and ready. There was only one thing that could make her frown still and that was her parents, or more accurately her mother. They were coming and she was happy that they were. But she wouldn't let her thoughts go further into the analysis of it than that. She preferred to keep her parents out of her thoughts as much as possible.

The slight frown that had appeared on her forehead immediately disappeared when she met her daughter's eyes and saw the genuine happiness in them. Once again smiling happily, parents forgotten, she let Rory help her out of the dress and place it back onto the hanger again. She let her hand linger a little at the skirts, feeling the soft fabric between her fingers before slipping on her clothes.

When she turned around again she noticed for the first time the dress her daughter was wearing. She stopped a second to look at her, the light blue fabric matched her eyes almost exactly and the simple cut fit her perfectly.

"You are perfect too," she said, smiling at her daughter.

"All thanks to you," Rory answered, a pleased smile tugging at her lips.

Suddenly the still air in the house was penetrated by the sound of a phone ringing. Rory's eyes immediately lit up even more and with a smile that was probably meant to be apologetic she all but ran out of the room and down the stairs. Lorelai just rolled her eyes at her behavior and smiled knowingly to herself, knowing full well who was calling.

She had to admit that she actually liked him, although she still couldn't completely forget the troubled kid he used to be. The way Rory's eyes sparkled whenever she was with him and lit up every time he was mentioned had made her a bit worried in the beginning, she had to admit. But after watching him since he came back into their lives again she couldn't deny that he had changed.

And she saw the way he looked at her daughter, the way he almost seemed to forget everything else when she was around. She saw all the small things he did that he probably wasn't even aware of doing, the small gestures, the glances, the soft touches. He always seemed to know exactly where she was, like there was some telepathic bond between them.

He could still get that far off painful look in his eyes at times, the look that told her something had remembered him of a bad memory. But every time it happened Rory seemed to know instinctively and took his hand, squeezing it lightly, smiled brightly at him or kissed him softly. She was beginning to believe that Rory might know a lot more about the mysterious past of Jess than she thought.

That had been one of her main concerns about Jess from the start; that no one really seemed to know anything about him. Even Luke had no idea what he had been doing before he came to Stars Hollow, or the reason he got sent here. But she was slowly starting to understand that he must have told Rory, at least some things. That made her feel more reassured about their reestablished relationship. The fact that he seemed to have opened up and let someone in was yet another thing that told her he really had grown up in the past years.

Rory's laughter broke through her thoughts and she smiled at how happy her daughter was. She couldn't deny that a big part of the reason for her happiness was because of Jess. Seconds later she heard fast steps on the stairs and Rory once again appeared in the doorway, out of breath and smiling brightly.

"So, when is he coming?" she asked with a knowing smile as she saw her daughter's face.

"Friday," Rory replied and was about to flop down on the bed before Lorelai stopped her by grabbing her hand.

"Change first," she said with a meaningful glance to the dress. "You wouldn't want mommy to have to make it pretty again, would you?"

"Oh, right," Rory said, remembering what she was wearing. "Sorry," she mumbled, a slight blush coloring her cheeks.

"We should get you changed too," Lorelai said smiling and helped Rory out of her dress, hanging it up on a hanger beside her own and smoothed it out. "So, Friday huh?" she asked, watching her daughter in the mirror as she fixed her top.

"Yes, Friday," she confirmed and looked up for a second. "He couldn't get out of work earlier than that," she added with a pout as she smoothed her hair out.

"I'm assuming we're talking about this Friday," Lorelai said and almost had to laugh at the pathetic expression on Rory's face. She only got a nod in response. "As in five days from now, Friday," she continued and once again got a nod in response. "And you're pouting because…? she asked, already half knowing what the answer would be.

"It's five whole days!" Rory exclaimed, finally slumping down on the bed.

"Aw, honey! Five days aren't that long," Lorelai said, sitting down beside her. "You've handled far more than five days before."

"Yes, but then I had something to do, something to think about. With finals over I don't have anything other to do than to think. I did when there was still something to plan for your wedding, but now everything is done there too. And the paper just isn't enough. The things I write there just don't take enough time. And they can't because I have a deadline. It's not like I can take one of the articles and research it for a week for every detail that can be interesting, 'cause I don't have time to do that before it's supposed to be ready. Why can't they give me longer deadlines? Then I could have something to do!" Finally out of breath she stopped abruptly, fell back on the bed and covered her face with her hands.

"You should breathe once in a while, Hon," Lorelai said, placing a soothing hand on her arm.

"I'm pathetic, aren't I?" Rory groaned through her hands, not wanting to see the expression on her mother's face. She knew all too well what it would be.

"Only a little," Lorelai said diplomatically, trying to keep the amusement out of her voice. This was not the time to start laughing.

"I hate this long distance thing!" Rory exclaimed, standing up and starting to pace over the room in frustration. "And it's getting harder to pretend I don't," she said, almost sounding like she just figured it out for the first time. Turning back to her mother she gave her an apologetic glance. "I'm sorry. I'm ruining your happy mood here," she said, trying to muster a genuine smile.

"No, no, you're not ruining any happy mood," Lorelai said hurriedly. "If you go around the next five days all mopy, then you'll destroy my mood. Come here, let's talk," she said, patting the bed beside her.

She spent another hour listening to Rory trying to explain her frustration. The main point was the fact that although they had technically been together for about three months they hadn't spent more than 12 days together since then. And that was an optimistic count. And even though those days had been amazing and they talked on the phone almost every night she still felt like it wasn't enough.

Lorelai was amazed when she realized how close the two of them seemed to have become in the short amount of time they had been reacquainted. When Rory stopped talking, for the moment out of things to say, she took a chance, deciding to find out just how close they were.

"He told you, didn't he?" she asked carefully. At Rory's slightly confused expression she clarified, "About his past, growing up and all that."

At first it looked like Rory was going to deny it, but she seemed to change her mind and nodded slowly, not meeting Lorelai's gaze. "Yes, he did," she whispered, thinking back to the painful hours they had spent in the park and on the couch in New York.

Lorelai immediately sensed the change in atmosphere in the room. She watched her daughter for a few moments, taking in the sad and slightly pained look on her face, struggling with what to do next. Her curiosity finally won the battle. "And…" she said hesitantly.

"I can't tell you," Rory said, still not making eye contact. "I know you want to know, you've wanted to know since he first got to Stars Hollow. But I can't tell you."

"I know," Lorelai said, nodding to herself. She hadn't actually expected Rory to tell her anything, but that didn't change the fact that she really wanted to know. The mother in her still wanted to know what her daughter was getting herself into.

"You should read his next book when it's finished," Rory said, barely loud enough to hear. She finally raised her eyes and met Lorelai's. "But don't talk about it. You're not supposed to know it exists."

Lorelai looked at her for a few seconds, deciding how to respond to that. She finally decided not to and instead changed the subject back to the beginning. "Have you talked to him about how you feel?" she asked.

"No!" Rory exclaimed, almost frantic. "I don't want to ruin anything," she added quietly after a second.

"You have to talk about it at some point. If you don't it will just get worse," Lorelai said seriously.

Rory nodded, taking a deep breath, but stayed quiet.

"So, we'll have to keep you occupied for a couple days then," Lorelai said, smiling. "Whatever should we do?" she asked dramatically, plastering a theatrically tragic expression on her face and flung herself on her back on the bed.

She smiled when she heard Rory's laugh.

* * *

He was standing behind the counter, just staring straight ahead, once again lost in thought. He couldn't believe it was only a little over a week left. He had been waiting for this for years and now that it was finally just around the corner his mind was working overtime.

The diner was strangely empty and had been the whole afternoon, a fact that he was thankful for. He didn't think the customers would be happy with the service at the moment.

The bell above the door jingled and he was snapped out of his thoughts. When he saw who it was he smiled a little. He quickly stepped out from behind the counter and caught his nephew in a tight embrace.

"What are you doing here?" Luke asked when they let go of each other.

"But Uncle Luke, are you not happy to see me?" Jess asked, feigning hurt.

"It's just…I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow," Luke started, looking slightly bewildered. "You said Friday, right?" he asked, making sure it wasn't him that had messed up the dates.

"I was done, thought I'd just as well come here early," Jess shrugged, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"Can't stay away now, can we?" Luke asked, more than a little amused.

"I could go somewhere else," Jess offered, gesturing for some undefined place outside the diner.

"No, no!" Luke exclaimed. "I could use some sanity right about now."

Luke walked back behind the counter and poured a cup of coffee, offering it to Jess, who gratefully accepted. After taking a sip he sat down at the counter and, realizing he hadn't eaten more than half a Snicker's since early last night, grabbed a doughnut and devoured it in almost one bite. Luke just stared at him, shook his head and got a couple sandwiches from the kitchen.

"I take it they aren't back yet?" Jess asked as Luke, when he got back out, scanned the street outside the diner for the third time since he got there.

"It's not even six hours since they left," Luke said, shaking his head to keep his thoughts straight. "Besides, I think they'll be there till it closes. Lorelai said something about a distraction," he added.

"I wouldn't have thought Lorelai needed a distraction," Jess said, somewhat surprised and finished his second sandwich.

"It was for Rory," Luke supplied and poured more coffee.

"Why would she need…" Jess began, but saw Luke's astonished expression and smirked as the realization hit. "Huh."

"So, you never told me why you're here so early," Luke said, his curiosity almost shining through.

"I thought I'd catch you before the craziness begins. I've been so busy lately that we haven't really talked that much in a while," Jess answered, devouring his third sandwich at this point.

At first Luke didn't seem to have heard him, too occupied with staring at him. After a couple seconds he shook his head. "When was the last time you ate anything?" he asked, feeling a twinge of worry over the seemingly starved figure in front of him.

"Last night." Jess answered, swallowing the last bite. "Why?" he asked, looking up from the now empty plate.

"You just finished that in about two minutes," Luke said, pointing to the plate, not completely able to shake the worry.

"Oh, that. I just didn't eat breakfast today. I didn't have time to be hungry before," Jess answered with a shrug, at the same time reaching out for the doughnuts again.

Luke shook his head as the second doughnut disappeared, not quite prepared for the relief he felt. He knew that Jess didn't have any economical problems and had quite enough to eat, but sometimes he just couldn't get his head to stop worrying. Or maybe it wasn't his head that was the problem.

"You want something slightly less unhealthy?" He asked after a moment's silence. Jess nodded and followed him into the kitchen. "So, how is everything?" Luke asked as he started preparing a batch of fries.

"Fine," Jess answered with yet another shrug, leaning against the doorframe, watching.

"That's it? Fine?" Luke asked "You come here a day early to catch me and all you can say is 'Fine'?"

"Nothing much to talk about," Jess said and was about to shrug again, but caught himself. "I finished that script, the one from the guy who can't spell," he supplied, deciding to be a bit more informative. "He should seriously take that book to one of the big companies," he continued, watching as a cheese burger started taking form.

"That good, huh?" Luke said. It might be that he knew nothing about literature, but he knew Jess did. And he knew he wasn't easily impressed. "You writing anything?" he asked after a second's thought. He had been wondering for a while, ever since Jess had, probably by mistake, mentioned something about a new project. He just hadn't found the right time to bring it up.

"Um…I…" Jess began, clearly caught off guard. He took a deep breath and looked up. "Yeah, I am," he finally said, his voice sounding strangely guarded.

Luke turned around fully, watching him for a second, but couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. At least not anything he could put his finger on and he decided it was probably nothing. "Not gonna tell me anything about it, are you?" he asked, turning back to the food, not catching the inaudible sigh Jess let out.

"Nope, you'll just have to read it as everyone else," Jess said, voice once again back to normal. "If it ever gets done that is," he added.

"Of course it will get done," Luke said, finishing the burger and concentrating on the fries. "You wouldn't have told me you were writing it if you wouldn't finish it."

"Maybe," Jess said, gratefully taking the food and walking back out into the diner.

"So, you didn't tell Rory you're coming today?" Luke asked as he joined him at a table in the still empty diner.

"I couldn't get through to her cell phone, it's probably off. And I thought it would be a surprise," Jess said between fries, a hint of a smile on his face at the mention of her name.

The small tug at his lips didn't go unnoticed by Luke, but he let it pass. He had already gone through all of his lectures on the subject, admittedly not as forcefully as the last time, and he was genuinely happy for them both. He couldn't deny that Rory had seemed more like herself since Jess showed up with his book. And he couldn't deny that the surly young man he regularly exchanged phone calls with had seemed to be a lot happier lately.

They talked for a few more minutes, till the first customer came in, closely followed by a group of seven starved tourists. Suddenly the diner was crowded and Luke hurried over to the customers, starting to take orders. Jess quickly finished his burger and went to work too.

They worked together the rest of the afternoon, both easily falling into a routine they didn't even know they had. Every now and then he looked out the window, searching for the Gilmore girls. As the afternoon faded into evening he could almost feel the tension radiating from his nephew. Once or twice he even caught him staring out the window.

Suddenly Jess stopped mid stride on his way back to the counter with an order. It was as if some invisible force had frozen him in place. Luke watched as his slightly annoyed expression, that had steadily turned more and more sour as the evening wore on, all of a sudden disappeared and was replaced by a smile. The smile only lasted for a second before turning into a smirk, but Luke could still see it clearly in his eyes as he continued to the counter and put the order down.

The whole thing only took a couple seconds and Luke was just about to shake it off as a hallucination. Then Jess' smirk grew wider as he leaned against the counter, eyes fixed on the door. Just as he himself turned towards the door it flew open and a whirlwind of brown hair and blue fabric threw itself on his nephew.

Luke almost laughed at the sight before looking over at the door again, meeting Lorelai's eyes. He smiled and went to envelope her in a hug.


	12. Chapter 11 Steaming Emotions

**Not Dreaming**

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**A/N:** Thank you so much for all the reviews for the last chapter! :D They mean a lot to me!

This chapter is back to the original idea with Jess and Rory again… Although not exactly as before. You'll know what I mean when you read it.

* * *

**Chapter 11. ****Steaming Emotions**

* * *

He took a deep breath and looked around the empty apartment once more. It felt odd being there alone. It felt odd being alone at all. He hadn't been for over two weeks now. At least not for long.

The wedding was over, thankfully, and Luke and Lorelai were long since gone on their honeymoon. They were supposed to be gone for another week.

And he had survived. He had tolerated T.J., just barely, but still. And he had danced, although dancing was probably a too generous description for what he had been doing. He had even managed to live through meeting the elder Gilmore's. Richard had actually not seemed that hostile.

Compared to the week before the wedding the last couple of days had been calm. Town-wise that is. For his own part he would gladly trade the last day for all the craziness this town could come up with. At least some of it.

Rory wasn't speaking to him at the moment and he had absolutely no idea why. Well, he knew the immediate reason, but he was clueless as to what the real reason was. She had become more and more irritable the last couple of days and sometime last night some remark he made had suddenly made her furious. He couldn't even remember what it was that started it.

He had tried to find out what the problem was, but she just yelled at him and finally he had given up. Too frustrated to be reasonable he had started to yell back at her. He had probably said some stupid things, but he couldn't remember. The only thing on his mind at the moment was how stupid it all was.

She hadn't come back last night and when he called her cell she had simply turned it off. He had tried calling the house too, but only got the machine. And that was cut off too before he had the chance to say more than her name. For the first time since probably before Christmas he hadn't been able to sleep at all.

He was supposed to go home tomorrow. And this was definitely not how he wanted to feel the day before that. Since Rory stormed out of the apartment he had come to the conclusion that he really hated fighting with her. Not that he had found it fun before, but there hadn't really been that many fights in the past. Usually if there was a problem of some sort he had always tried to avoid it.

But this time it didn't work. And maybe he didn't want it to work either. It certainly hadn't solved anything before, so maybe addressing it was the way to go. The problem at this point was that he didn't know what the problem was. Which was sort of ironic.

Sighing he got up from the couch. He couldn't stay up here all day anyway and he really wanted to find her. Maybe she had calmed down enough to not scream at him as soon as she saw him. It was worth a shot at least.

He slowly stood up and made his way down to the diner. She wasn't there. Not that he had expected her to be, but he made sure anyway. Avoiding the people in the crowded diner he made his way to the door and out on the street. Once there he stopped for a moment when he realized he had absolutely no idea where she could be.

He started wandering aimlessly and soon found himself walking the well known path to the bridge. Hoping she would be there he continued walking, trying to come up with something good to say.

As soon as he was in sight of the bridge he spotted her. She was sitting in the middle of the bridge, head turned down and gazing into the water. He felt a tugging of a memory from another time when he had come here and found her sitting in almost the exact same spot. The circumstances were quite different this time though.

He stopped for a while, watching her. She was picking at the wood beside her, as if trying to pull it apart. Once in a while a splint of wood would come loose and she proceeded to throw it in the water. Suddenly she cried out, and stuck the tip of her finger in her mouth, apparently having gotten one of the splints in it.

She could feel new tears forming in her eyes at the pain in her finger. And she couldn't stop them. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," she repeated through set teeth almost like a mantra. She wasn't really sure what it was that was stupid though. The splint didn't really hurt that much, it was mostly the shock that made it hurt.

Actually she knew exactly what it was that was so stupid. And it had nothing to do with the splint. It did however have everything to do with her fit of rage from last night. Why had she been so stupid? She couldn't even remember what made her so mad. It was probably something really stupid.

She had started to regret her outburst almost as soon as it started, but she couldn't seem to stop screaming. She didn't even know what she had said, probably a whole lot of nonsense.

She suddenly realized that her mother had been right. They should have talked about their situation earlier. Then this could probably have been prevented. Thinking about it she couldn't even come up with a good reason as to why she hadn't brought it up during the past weeks. Other than the pretty stupid excuse that she was afraid.

What she was afraid of she wasn't really sure, but she had this vision of everything falling apart if she addressed any form of problem. Forming that thought in her mind she realized how stupid it sounded. Starting a major fight over some nonsensical matter that she couldn't even remember had got to be worse than talking about the actual problem.

Which wasn't that big of a problem if you thought about it. It wasn't like he was at the other side of the country. Only a couple hours away. She could handle that. Couldn't she? She had to she concluded. It wasn't like she could ask him to move. And she didn't have that option either. Not if she wanted to stay at Yale. And that wasn't an option.

She abruptly made a decision. She was going to talk to him. Right now. She was going to sort this out. Her decision made she wiped away the remaining tears from her eyes with the palm of her hand and stood up.

She was startled when she turned around and found him standing at the edge of the bridge. He froze too, as if he wasn't sure how she would react. She noticed he looked tense, his shoulder drawn up slightly. And the look in his eyes as he watched her was somewhat guarded. She hated that she was the cause of that. He hadn't had that look in his eyes for months and now it was back. He watched her for a couple seconds before relaxing a little and taking a tentative step out on the bridge.

She waited for him to come up to her, eyes cast down on the wooden surface under them. It felt like it took ages for him to walk the short way over the bridge. He stopped a few feet away, as if checking how she would react. When he didn't come closer she raised her gaze to look at him, searching for his eyes.

"Hi," she managed, barely audible. He didn't say anything, just gave her a small nod. They stood there silently for what seemed like forever, but in reality wasn't more than a minute.

"I…" he began quietly, but didn't finish his thought. He shook his head a little and was about to start over when he was interrupted.

"I don't want you to go!" she exclaimed, sounding almost frantic. Her tone and the desperation she could hear in her voice scared her a little. "I hate that you're so far away," she mumbled before squeezing her eyes shut for a second to stop the tears she once again felt forming and let her head drop again.

He smiled sadly and took a step forward, closer to her. Watching her tentatively he reached out a hand and touched her cheek gently. With two fingers he slowly lifter her chin up and scanned her face. He could see the tears forming in the corners of her eyes and clinging to her eyelashes.

"Is that what this was all about?" he asked quietly, softly rubbing his thumb over her cheek, wiping stray tears away.

Eyes still downcast she nodded into his hand. She was starting to feel even more stupid now. Why had she not said anything before? They could have talked about it, like rational people. Instead she ended up a miserable ball of tears on her bed the whole night. A lonely miserable ball of tears.

"Why didn't you say something?" he asked when she didn't say anything and slowly let his arm fall to his side again.

She suddenly felt cold at the loss of contact and shuddered a little. Knowing she would have to say something soon she took a deep breath and racked her brain for a suitable excuse. "I don't know," she mumbled when she couldn't find one.

He looked at her for a few moments, trying to come up with something to say, preferably something that wouldn't sound too harsh. "You always told me to tell you what was going on and now you're telling me you have no reason what so ever for yelling at me about absolutely nothing?" he finally said, his tone sharper than he had intended. It probably wasn't the best thing to say, but he had never been really good at this stuff.

She finally looked up at him, a bit taken aback by his tone and the not so well hidden accusation. Meeting his eyes she was once again met by that guarded look she hated so much. And behind it she saw the anger and hurt he wasn't even trying to hide. "I was afraid," she said, trying to explain herself. "It was stupid, but there it is. I was afraid. I should have listened to mom, she told me to…" She didn't get further than that before she was interrupted.

"You told Lorelai?" he asked in disbelief. "You told Lorelai and you couldn't tell me," he said, all of a sudden feeling tired.

"I'm sorry," she said, searching for his eyes again. But he kept his gaze locked on a point on the shore. "I don't know why I didn't say anything and I'm sorry I didn't. I was just afraid you'd…" Once again she was cut off.

"And it all comes back to me," he said, sounding as tired as he felt. "What did you think I'd do this time? Huh?" He paused for a second to breathe and maybe let her speak, but she didn't. "Thought I'd laugh at you? Or maybe run away at the first sign of trouble? Oh I know, of course I'd find some blonde chick with nothing in her head on a much more comfortable distance."

He hadn't noticed that his voice had risen as he spoke, but as he stopped he saw the look on her face. She looked completely stunned. And he could see the tears once again forming in her eyes. But at this point he was too angry to let them affect him. And her continuing silence only made him angrier.

"Well, that's just fucking great," he almost spat. "I can't hear you deny any of it. Real nice to see you have so much faith in me. I'll go pack and help out at the diner. Stop by when you can put words together again." He looked at her now tearstained face one last time before shaking his head and turning around, starting back to where he came from.

Her brain finally started working again when she saw his back turned to her, shoulders drawn up and fists clenched at his sides. She couldn't believe she had just stood there, not even trying to deny anything he had said. It only took her half a second to realize that she really needed to start talking soon.

"Wait!" she exclaimed, her voice shaky and desperate. She hurried up to him, standing in front of him to make him stop. She didn't look him in the eyes; she didn't think she could take what she would find there. He did stop and she took a deep breath before starting to talk.

"I'm sorry," she began, hoping he would accept it when she was finished. "I don't think any of that! I swear! I was afraid that this wouldn't work and I didn't want to be the one to bring up something that could end this. I know it was wrong not to talk to you, but it's just… Everything has been so perfect! And I was afraid that if I brought up a problem, any problem, that it wouldn't last and there would just be more and more problems and I didn't want that. I wanted this to stay perfect. I'm sorry! I never meant for any of this to happen. I just didn't know how to tell you and then I pushed it off and then it felt like it was too late and then I think I exploded. I never meant to accuse you of anything and I'm really sorry if it felt like that. I'm just…I'm sorry!"

She felt exhausted when she finally stopped talking and she had no idea if anything she had said had made any sense at all. He didn't seem quite as tense as a minute ago and cautiously she raised her eyes to meet his. She could still detect traces of the anger and hurt she had seen in them before, but not as prominent any longer. Standing still in front of him she waited for him to respond, hoping he wouldn't just walk away.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't like the long distance either?" he finally asked, his voice once again calm, but strangely void of emotion.

She almost sighed with relief at the sound of his voice. He was still talking to her. But his tone made her a bit cautious and she held it back. She pondered the question for a second, not sure why she hadn't thought of that before. "No, not exactly," she said carefully, still looking him in the eyes.

He shook his head a little at her answer. "I'm always here early. I've stayed here for over two weeks, despite the fact that I've missed two rather important meetings during that time. I talk to you almost every night when we're not together." He spoke quietly with a small smile, hardly noticeable and not reaching his eyes. "How could you not know?" he asked, almost sounding a bit curious.

"You're a guy. You're not supposed to get emotional," she said, trying to make sense of her thoughts. "I'm sorry, that sounded very wrong," she hurriedly added. "I guess I didn't really think at all," she concluded

"I thought you knew you could talk to me about anything you want," he said, still very quiet.

It felt almost as if he was afraid he would start yelling again if he raised his voice. She had no problem picking up on the sad tone in his voice and she wanted to do everything she could to make it go away. "I do know that," she said, equally quiet, hoping he would believe her.

"I really hope you do," he said with a sad smile. "Right now it doesn't feel like it though," he added, the smile disappearing again, almost as if it had never existed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered sadly, her hand almost reaching up to touch his cheek. She stopped it halfway, not sure if he would let her.

"I know," he said, his eyes watching her hand moving. "I just need some time to think. I'll call you later." The small smile had appeared once again, slightly more noticeable this time. He took a step forward, coming close to her and softly kissed her on the forehead before looking down and walking around and away from her.

She waited until he had passed her before turning around and then watched him walk away. He had his hands in the pockets of his jeans and didn't walk as confidently as he used to. But nobody else could probably tell the difference. She noticed for the first time that he didn't have a book with him. She had thought he had come to the bridge to read, but apparently he hadn't. Had he come looking for her? She felt like kicking herself for how stupid she had been lately, the last eighteen hours or so especially.

Slowly she began walking back into town, but changed her mind when she reached the edge of the bridge. Instead she turned around again and walked out to the middle and sat down in the same spot as before.

* * *

Four hours later she was almost asleep, lying on her back on the wooden surface. She was suddenly jolted out of her slumber by the ringing of her phone. Immediately wide awake she searched for her phone for half a second before finding it and answering just as it started ringing a second time.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" she heard him say and couldn't help but letting out a sigh of relief at his almost teasing voice. It took a second for what he had said to register, but then she sat up and quickly scanned her surroundings. He was walking down the path towards the bridge, once again finding her there.

"I wasn't sleeping," she said, standing up and closing her phone, mirroring him. She decided to try a smile and was rewarded by a smirk. She immediately felt herself relax and was sure it was clearly visible. However he didn't show any sign of having noticed it as he walked up to her, stopping a foot away.

"Hi," he said, trying the sound of it.

"Hi," she said back, her smile still lingering on her face, searching his eyes for any clue as to what he was feeling.

He met her gaze for a few moments before sitting down at the edge of the bridge, motioning for her to sit next to him. "I just spent three and a half hours listening to Tori Amos," he said as if it was the only natural way to start a conversation.

"Okay…" she said, a bit uncertain of what he was getting at with that statement. The last time he had mentioned her it had been in reference to her music being depressing.

"It sort of calmed me down," he continued with a half smirk.

"I really am sorry," she said after a moment, watching him out of the corner of her eye.

"I know," he said. "Me too."

"I still don't want you to leave," she said, turning her head towards him fully, watching him intently.

"I have to get back to work," he said, offering her a small smile, this time looking genuine. "And you have to be at school. You won't even have time to notice I'm not there with all the things you'll be doing this summer."

"You sound like I'm going to forget you," she said, waving an accusing finger in front of his face. "That's not gonna happen," she stated.

She was a bit startled when he caught her finger, and then her hand, in his and pulled her closer to him. It felt like the first physical contact in a very long time when she leaned her head against his shoulder and felt his hand around her waist.

She noticed that he still seemed a bit tense and sadly wondered how long it would take him to really forgive her. She had never really found herself in this position before, where she had to prove herself in some way. It had almost always been the other way around and she suddenly knew how impossible it could seem.

They stayed at the bridge for almost an hour and watched the sunset together. There hadn't been any more talking, but she had felt him gradually relax against her. It made her feel more optimistic and she cuddled closer to him, smiling as she felt his arm tightening around her.

* * *

They got up early the next morning to get in time for her registration at Yale, neither of them mentioned the events of the past days, neither during the drive to New Haven or as he walked with her through the campus. Through some silent agreement they had decided that this day they should enjoy their last day together.

After her registration was done they went to a small restaurant where they spent almost three hours sitting at a corner table. Finally, when they hadn't ordered anything in over an hour and the restaurant was starting to fill up the waitress told them that they'd have to order something or she would be forced to tell them to leave.

Smiling sheepishly at each other they paid her, including a large tip, and went back out on the street where they couldn't hold in their laughter any more. It felt liberating to laugh like that, freely and without thought, and they both felt a lot more positive by the time he had to leave.


	13. Chapter 12 Birthday Fun

**Not Dreaming**

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**A/N: **Okay, next part finished. Sorry it took so long. I had some things to work out and then I went on a vacation and when I got home I was in a kind of non writing mood for a while. But for anyone who might have missed this little fic this part is extra long.

Big hugs and thanks to **Knowhere**! Without you this would probably not be up! Thanks! :D

* * *

**Chapter 12. Birthday Fun**

* * *

He gradually became aware of the person lying beside him, holding him as if trying to cover as much of him as possible with itself. With his eyes still closed he continued just lying there for a couple minutes, trying to remember where he was and what he was doing there.

The foggy state of his mind and the weight of another body on his gave him a sour taste in his mouth, a feeling all too familiar taking hold of him. How many times had he woken up like that before? Without a clue how he got there or where there even was? What day was it anyway?

As his mind cleared he became aware of a dull ache throughout his entire body and a feeling like sandpaper in his mouth. Turning his head to the side he caught a familiar scent and he let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. At least he knew who the person beside him was. And slowly bits and pieces of his last conscious memory came back to him.

* * *

He was exhausted, he hadn't eaten since breakfast and he was fairly certain he had a pretty bad cold. And to top it all off it started raining just as he stepped out the door from work. It wasn't just any rain either, it was pouring down and he was soaking wet within less than a minute. As if this day couldn't get any worse the elevator didn't work when he finally got home, forcing him to climb the eleven floors to his apartment.

It was Friday afternoon, which usually meant that there wasn't that much to do at work. But there had apparently been some sort of mix up with the mail and the result was that he had to re-edit somewhere around 200 pages. He was seriously contemplating some sort of statement to show how unhappy he was. The only problem was that he didn't have the energy to come up with anything.

Ultimately he was in a really crappy mood when he finally reached his floor and stumbled out in the hallway, muttering curses under his breath. As the sound of his hoarse voice reached his ears he felt like cursing again.

* * *

Not even twenty feet away stood Rory, breathing deeply before finally taking the last step forward and raising her hand to knock on his door. Only to be interrupted by the sound of someone staggering up the stairs, muttering words that made her flinch.

By then she had been standing in the hallway for over twenty minutes, staring at the door. And she was starting to feel ridiculous. All the way here she had hurried as much as she could to get there faster. And when the only thing left was to knock on the door she didn't seem to be able to do it.

She had been looking forward to this ever since she decided to come. But now that she was actually here, she had suddenly started to doubt herself. What was she doing? A surprise visit had seemed like a good idea in her head. But now?

What if he was still mad at her? She hadn't wanted to think about that before, but suddenly it was the only thing on her mind. Of course they had talked on the phone as usual in the last couple of weeks. But their conversations hadn't been as easy as they used to and they hadn't really talked about what had been said on the bridge. And she had no idea how to bring it up.

She wasn't even sure what the difference was. There was just a different feeling to everything they said, as if every word was thought out beforehand. It wasn't as natural as she had become accustomed to. They still joked and bantered as usual, but at times it almost felt rehearsed, like they had had the same conversation before.

She almost breathed a sigh of relief at the interruption and watched the figure that was dragging itself towards her. He was soaked and obviously freezing, judging by the shivers that went through his body. Then she suddenly recognized him and quickly dismissed all thoughts of her fears and worries. She hurried over to grab a hold of him, hoping he wouldn't collapse right then and there, not sure she would be able to get him inside if he did.

* * *

He hardly looked up at the person standing in front of his door, too tired to care about whom it might be and what he or she was doing there. The fact that his eyes didn't seem to be able to focus might be part of the reason too. Fumbling in his pocket he found his keys and tried to open the door, letting out a new string of curses when his hand wouldn't keep steady enough to find the right key.

He suddenly felt a hand on his, taking the keys from him and unlocking the door. Looking up he did a double take as he was met by bright blue eyes looking back at him. At the same time he felt her arm grip him around his waist, as if to steady him and her voice asking him something.

He didn't catch it and just looked at her, still confused as to what she was doing there. He hadn't been aware that she was coming and he could almost swear she hadn't said anything about it on the phone last night. He saw her wave her hand in front of him and concentrated to focus his attention on her again.

He found himself being more or less dragged into the apartment and heard the door close behind him. He struggled to get out of his wet jacket and it finally dropped to the floor with a wet thud that resounded all too loud in his head. Without even thinking about protesting he let her lead him towards the bedroom.

Upon entering, despite the fact that all he wanted to do at the moment was to sleep for the next two weeks or so, he pulled her close to him. He ignored her protests as she came in even closer contact with his wet and cold clothes and kissed her softly before letting himself fall down on the bed, taking her with him. He thought he heard her giggle when they landed on the bed, her halfway on top of him.

* * *

She couldn't help but let out a small laugh when she felt herself falling down on the bed with him. For a moment she forgot that she was supposed to get him warmed up and kissed him back. As always the feeling of his arms around her made her feel safe and she closed her eyes, reaching up an arm to his cheek.

It was the contact with his wet hair that brought her back to reality again. That and the fact that his arms released their hold on her. With a kiss on his cheek she got up and tried to get a hold of his shirt, finding it a lot more difficult than she thought it would be.

* * *

It wasn't until he felt her get up from the bed that he realized he had started to drift off. Next thing he knew she was pulling at his shirt, trying to drag it over his head. "Wha'ya doin'?" he mumbled, hoping it sounded more coherent to her than it did in his head.

"I'm getting you out of these clothes," she said, trying not to smile at him, and continued to struggle with the shirt, not getting much further than before.

"'kay," he mumbled and tried to help her. His efforts were probably not doing much good, but after some time he was finally free of wet fabric. That was when he realized how cold he was. He couldn't remember ever being that cold before. Well, maybe that time he had been caught in a snow storm when he was seven, but this was pretty close to that. And the dry clothes she gave him really didn't help anything.

* * *

Soon he was lying under the covers, shaking from cold, and she was hurrying around the room searching for extra blankets. She found a couple lying in a heap at the bottom of a closet and quickly placed them over him too. After giving him a soft kiss on the forehead she then left the room and hurried over to her bags that she had dropped in the hallway, frantically looking for her cell phone.

She drew a breathe of relief as she found it and quickly dialing the first number that came to mind hurried back over to the bedroom. She stopped outside, not wanting to disturb him more than necessary and impatiently waited as the signals went through. After the third unanswered ring she could feel tears forming in her eyes, but she didn't care.

After four signals she heard the phone being picked up and started talking without even giving the person on the other side a chance to answer it. "Mom?" she began, ignoring the slight quiver in her voice. "Please mom, I don't know what to do! He's burning up and soaked and shaking like he's going to break and I don't know what's wrong! Well, not true, I know what's wrong, but I have no idea what to do! Should I take him to a hospital? Should I make chicken soup? Should I check if he has a fever? I mean, of course he has a fever, but I should check, right? God, I don't even know if he has a thermometer, which means I'd probably have to go out to find one. But I can't just leave him here…"

She finally ran out of air and took a deep breath, preparing to start up again when she was interrupted by the voice on the other end of the line. "Rory? Is that you?" she heard Luke's voice asking, sounding worried. "What's wrong?" he asked and she took another breath, trying to calm down.

"It's Jess. He's wet from the rain and it feels like he's burning up. I managed to get him in bed, but I don't know what to do," she said, still pacing anxiously outside the bedroom, but feeling slightly comforted by the well known voice.

"Calm down," Luke said, his voice sounding reassuring. "Just try to keep him warm, make him drink as much as possible and let him sleep. He probably just has a cold and will be fine if he just gets some sleep," he continued and she felt herself relax at his calm words. "And I bough him a thermometer last year as a joke, so it's probably there somewhere, unless he threw it out."

After thanking Luke and promising him to call back if anything happened she hung up the phone and with one last glance inside the bedroom hurried over to the bathroom. It didn't take long to find what she was looking for and she was soon back in the bedroom, sitting on the side of the bed, thermometer in hand. It wasn't until then that she started wondering why Luke had answered her mother's cell phone.

* * *

He started a little when he felt the bed dip as if someone was sitting down on it. He had no idea how long it was since he was last conscious of anything around him. The mumble of her voice had floated into the room and he caught some stray words that sounded like burn and soup. As he drifted off her voice wasn't more than a soft whisper in the background.

Although far from awake, he soon recognized the smell emanating from the person now beside him and relaxed again. He was still shaking and cold to the bone and when he felt her crawl in under the covers with him he gladly welcomed the warmth of her body. He heard her say something about checking if he had a fever and opened his mouth, accepting the cold plastic stick she held out to him. He thought he heard her gasp as she read the result, but he was already too far away to be sure.

* * *

He let out a sigh as the memories started to make sense in his head. He was sick. And he didn't like the feeling one bit. Silently he promised himself never to get sick again.

He felt the sleeping form beside him stir and realized he had tensed a little when he woke up. He wondered if he would ever be free from all his old memories, wishing there was some way he could just forget them. He relaxed again, letting sleep take him once more. Next thing he knew the room was lit by a soft red glow from a setting sun and when he opened his eyes he was met by two bright blue eyes looking back at him.

* * *

She had just gotten back after getting new water in case he woke up when he did just that. She was leaning over him, just about to move a strand of hair away form his forehead when she suddenly found herself looking into his eyes.

"Here, you should drink this," she said, finding the glass of water and holding it out to him. "How are you feeling?" she asked as soon as he had finished it, the concern evident in her eyes and even more in her voice.

He tried smiling at her, but he was fairly sure he wasn't successful. He felt drained of all energy, like he had just finished a marathon. Though he wasn't sure about that, because he most of the times tried to avoid running. "Fine," he said, not really surprised at how week and scratchy his voice sounded in his own ears.

"Is that so," she said, glaring at him with a flash of irritation in her eyes. "I've been worried sick about you and you think it's some kind of joke?" she asked, eying him with a serious look on her face, one that told him she wanted nothing but the truth.

"Okay then, I feel like crap," he said, closing his eyes again. It was too big an effort to keep them open. "That better?" he asked, almost succeeding in giving her a small smirk.

"No, but I believe it," she said, laying a cold hand on his forehead. "Did you know your temperature was just below 104 last night?" she asked after a second, almost starting to sound angry.

"No," he answered simply, not quite getting what she was saying for a few seconds. When it hit him he opened his eyes, once again looking up at her. The look in her eyes confirmed what he already knew. There was a freak out on the way. Had he not been the cause of it he probably would have thought it was funny to watch. As it was he just kept looking at her, awaiting the inevitable.

"You told me you were fine!" she exclaimed, startling him with the force of her statement. "You told me not to worry because it was nothing but a small cold and you never get sick!" she continued, getting more worked up as she went on. "And then I come here to surprise you for your birthday and what do I find? Huh? Yeah, that's right, I find you coming home looking like crap and burning up. Or actually you weren't burning up then, 'cause you were too cold from the rain!"

He just stared at her as she kept more or less screaming at him. He no longer had any clue what she was saying. She stopped abruptly, noticing the blank expression on his face and smiled weakly at him.

"I'm sorry," she exclaimed, hugging him fiercely, as if not ever wanting to let go. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just got scared when you got home.

"S'okay," he mumbled into her hair, doing his best to hug her back, though his arms didn't seem to be cooperating. "Sorry," he added weakly and let his arms fall to his sides again.

"For what?" she asked curiously, but he just shrugged, not sure what he meant.

She let go of him and smiled a little, pulling a stray lock of hair away from his forehead, fingers lingering a little. "Do you want anything?" she asked suddenly. "Luke said I should keep you warm, make sure you drink a lot and let you sleep. I think I've done the first, but you have barely had anything to drink since you got home, 'cause you've been sleeping all the time, which of course was one of the things I should make sure of, but you must be thirsty, or at least you should be…"

She stopped abruptly, completely out of breath and was once again met by his eyes staring blankly at her. She smiled sheepishly at him and blushed a little. He just stared at her for a few seconds, not sure if he was more confused by what she said or how she said it. Something however suddenly registered in his mind.

"Luke?" he asked, more confused than ever. What the hell did Luke have to do with anything?

"Oh, I called my mom last night when I had finally gotten you in bed, 'cause I had no idea what to do. But Luke answered, I still don't know why he answered her cell phone, but that's beside the point. Anyway, he made me calm down and told me what to do. I still have no idea how a thermometer could be considered a joke, but I'm sure you can tell me some time," she said before catching herself again. "And I'm doing it again, aren't I?" she said, not exactly making it a question. "I'm just gonna shut up and go get you something more to drink," she said, kissing him lightly on the cheek before getting up from the bed and going out in the kitchen.

He let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding as she left the room. He had no idea it could be this exhausting having her around. He assumed it was partly due to the fact that he was still too tired to keep up with her ranting, or stop them for that matter. But she also seemed to be talking even more than she used to, almost as if she was nervous.

When she got back he managed to drink almost a full glass of water before more or less falling back into unconsciousness. He was vaguely aware of her snuggling up to him moments later and her voice mumbling words he didn't quite catch into the crook of his neck.

* * *

She lay awake for a long time, listening to his now even breathing. This was definitely not how she had imagined she would be spending the weekend. Not that she had really had any expectations, but lying here, watching him sleep was definitely not one of the scenarios she had imagined. Okay, she had, but not for these reasons. Neither was picking off the extra blankets to help him cool of alternated by snuggling close to him when he once again started to shiver. Those where the times she actually felt useful, laying beside him and keeping him warm.

She had no idea what she was supposed to do besides that. She vividly remembered how her heart had sped up as she had seen the numbers on the thermometer climb last night. And she had prayed that they wouldn't go too high. She had no experience at all of taking care of someone being sick. The closest she had ever come to it had been the time her mother had broken her leg. And that was a totally different situation, not only because her mother would never hesitate to let you know exactly how she felt and what she wanted.

She had spent the majority of the night holding him close, trying not to think about those numbers. When he had finally stopped shivering she had relaxed a little, grateful that the fever didn't seem to be rising at least. It was probably around three in the morning before she had finally fallen asleep herself and it hadn't lasted for long. The rest of the night she had spent sitting on the bed beside him with a cup of coffee, watching him sleep.

When the sun went up she had gone into the living room and come back with a stack of randomly chosen books. With more coffee and hurriedly made sandwiches she had settled down on the bed beside him to read. She had started the day hiding from Wells' invaders from Mars and went on to exploring life growing up and on the road through the eyes of a young, confused and high Jan Kerouac. Before he woke up she had been in the middle of the search for the Holy Grail, whatever that now was.

As she now once again lay snuggled up against him she felt relief washing over her. He didn't seem as warm as before and those brief minutes he had been awake had made her breathe a little easier.

* * *

She started Sunday just as she did the day before and around noon she knew what and where the Grail was, if you choose to believe the story that is. She put the book down and stood up to stretch her legs a little. She went over to the window and looked out over the city, trying to figure out how to best bring up the subject that had been on her mind for the last weeks.

She wanted to know for sure that he really wasn't mad at her, or at least that he wouldn't be in the future. And she wanted a solution to the actual problem. She hated not knowing when she would see him again, not being able to fall asleep next to him every night and waking up beside him in the morning. She wanted to be able to have him within reach and to talk to him face to face instead of through the phone. Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of his voice.

"Hi," he said and she had to smile at the relieved sigh he let out the next second.

* * *

He had woken up to the bright light of the summer sun flowing into the room. He knew instantly that she wasn't beside him anymore, but it took a few seconds before he located her. She was standing by the window, completely still and obviously far away.

Her presence was a confirmation that the last couple of days hadn't been just a dream. Despite the fact that that was what it felt like. He tried to sit up, but it didn't take long to realize that he didn't feel up to it. He sank down into the pillow again and let out a sigh. Opting for another way of catching her attention he spoke up, glad that his voice didn't sound as distant as before. Raspy from lack of use and need of moisture yes, but it was at least his own voice again.

She started a little at the sound of his voice, but quickly turned around and smiled at him. "Hi," she said and walked over to him. "How are you feeling?" she asked, sitting down beside him, reached out a hand and put it on his forehead. Her hand felt cold.

"Better?" he said, hoping that he really did.

"You should eat something," she said. "I would make you chicken soup…except I have no idea how to make it. I can make tea, I saw you had tea in the kitchen and that can't be too hard to make, can it?" She started making her way over to the door almost before finishing her sentence. And stopped abruptly after only one step. "Do you want tea?" she asked.

"Are you okay?" he asked, ignoring her question. She still seemed jumpy and he didn't like not knowing why.

"Of course," she said, smiling again, but he still felt that something was off.

"Okay," he said and he let it drop, not wanting to start up a long conversation just yet. He sank deeper into the bed and shook his head slowly. "You don't have to make tea."

She smiled and hurried away to the kitchen, making tea anyway. She returned minutes later with a large cup of steaming liquid in her hands. The sweet smell of his guava tea made its way over to him and he gratefully accepted it.

"Thanks," he said when the cup was empty. It had made him feel a little more alive and less drained. She smiled at him and hurried off, only to return moments later with a full cup.

He actually really felt better after the second cup. He still ached everywhere, but he could keep his eyes open and he was fairly certain that his voice was his own again.

"You sure you don't want anything to eat?" she asked from her place beside him on the bed.

He shook his head, feeling as if food was the last thing he wanted at the moment. Just then he suddenly realized he still had no idea what time it was, or what day for that matter. "How long did I sleep?" he asked, turning his head to look at her.

"Well, it's Sunday now, so almost two days," she said and watched the slightly chocked expression that settled on his face.

"Huh," he said, not sure how to take that.

She only smiled at his response, glad that he was still himself, although a slightly toned down version. "Yep, I think you needed the rest," she said, smiling at him. "I bet you'll let me make you something to eat tonight too."

"Maybe," he said, noticing the hopeful smile on her face. "Wait," he said then, another thought making its way into his mind. "It's Sunday? Don't you have to be at school tomorrow morning? You…" He stopped abruptly when she placed a finger over his lips to silence him and he looked at her curiously.

"I can borrow someone's notes," she said, smiling. "Besides, I can't just leave you here alone, right? And I want to stay here. If you don't want me to go that is." She added the last part as a joke, but she could hear when she said it that it came out more serious than she had planned to. And judging by the look on his face he did too.

His head snapped up instantly as an answer to her last sentence, his eyes scanning her intently. At least now he knew what had made her so jumpy today. He had almost forgotten that day at the bridge in the stress of the past days and he didn't like being reminded of it. And he could clearly tell that she didn't like thinking of it either.

"Of course I want you to stay," he said and laced his fingers with hers, grimacing a little at the effort it took to withdraw his hand from under the covers. He squeezed her hand a little and pulled on it slightly. Closing his eyes he felt her move down and finally settling in beside him, her head resting lightly at the edge of his shoulder.

She moved her head a little, leaving soft kisses on his neck and he could feel his heart speed up. Eyes still closed he moved his other arm out from under the covers too and placed it on her cheek.

"You sure you don't want anything?" she asked after a moment.

"I think I need a shower," he said after a moment's thought and smiled a little as he heard her laugh.

"That can wait till later," she said, starting to get up. "I have a question for you first. I'll be right back." She got out of the bed and walked over to the desk. When she returned she held a book in her hand, a curious smile on her face. She held it up for him to see and he recognized the rather large paperback as _The Da Vinci Code_. "I didn't think this was your kind of book," she said, and crawled up in the bed again till she was sitting beside him.

"It's not," he said, smiling back at her.

"So, what made you decide to read a book about sacred feminine symbols and religious intrigues?" she asked, almost failing in holding back her laughter as she remembered some of the few notes he had written in it.

"Is curiosity a good enough excuse?" he asked with a smile, pulling her closer to him. "Had to see what all the drama was about."

"So…general opinion?" she asked, settling in beside him and preparing for a fun afternoon.

"Terrible end," he said without hesitation. "I could probably have taken the rest of it if he hadn't turned it into yet another cheesy romantic story."

* * *

That night, after a couple more hours discussing everything that came to mind, a well needed shower and some actual food, he felt a lot better. When he once again crept under the covers he smiled as he remembered the proud look she had had on her face when she presented him with dinner. He had barely managed not to laugh when he saw what she had made and realized that she still wasn't exactly well acquainted with food in any other way than eating it. Not that he had anything in particular against Mac 'n Cheese.

Laying there he watched her get ready to join him, wishing his body hadn't ached too much to do more than hold her tonight. Clad in one of his T-shirts she smiled as she crawled up beside him, placing a kiss on his cheek before settling down, her cheek barely leaning on his shoulder.

"I won't break," he said and pulled her closer to him. "I promise," he added when she still kept some distance between them. She finally gave in and snuggled closer, kissing him on the neck as she did.

"Are you still mad at me?" she asked suddenly, not able to hold it in any more, and pulled away a little again. She was just about to once again hide her face in the crook of his neck, but at the last minute decided to be brave and meet his eyes. The intensity of his gaze almost made her look away, but she took a deep breath and held it.

She could tell the exact moment he relented and literally felt a huge weight being lifted off her shoulders when a small smile crept over his face and into his eyes. Still she held his gaze, waiting for him to answer.

"No," he said finally, letting the smile grow. "I could never stay mad at you for long. It's just…I'm not used to the whole trusting people thing. And it felt good to finally have someone to share everything with, both ways. But then you didn't talk to me about something pretty important and I don't know… I had told you pretty much everything about me and I wanted you to tell me everything too. And the rest was just old insecurities talking." He stopped for a second, deciding how to continue. "I…no, I'm not mad at you," he finished, the smile having taken over his eyes completely.

"Good, 'cause I've realized I hated it," she said with a trying smile. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you. Really sorry. I just didn't know how to at first and then I just put it off for too long. I don't think I've been used to really talking to anyone except mom for like…ever. Not about important things anyway." She stopped, taking a deep breath. "I guess we'll both have to learn how to do this," she finished and smiled fully for the first time in what felt like months.

"We'll learn," he said quietly, almost to himself. "At least we're not running anymore, that's gotta be a good sign, right? The talking thing will come too," he said with a smile and reached up a hand to her neck, bringing her face down to his and kissed her softly. A few kisses later she settled down next to him again, resting her head on his shoulder, with her arm slung over his stomach.

"I missed you," she mumbled into his neck a couple minutes later. "I miss you every time I'm not with you and these past weeks were even worse. We weren't the same and I didn't like it. I know it was my fault and I hate knowing that. I just…" She stopped abruptly, realizing she was about to start into another long rant. Instead she took a breath and put a finger on his lips to stop him from saying anything.

"You know, I choose Yale for you," she said, a slightly far a way feeling in her voice. She felt him starting to say something and quickly continued. "Well, not entirely, but you were a big reason. Mom and I made all those pro and con lists with all those valid reasons why Yale was better than the others and all it did was sort of confirm what I already knew. I was going to Yale. And the first reason I could think of was that it was closer to you. I guess I kinda forgot that you always planned on getting out of Stars Hollow."

She stopped to take a breath, her finger still firmly planted over his lips and she could feel him biting his lip to stop himself from saying anything. She could also feel him intertwine their fingers and squeeze her hand with his. After leaving a soft kiss on his neck she started up again.

"Then you left and I was still going to Yale, the only difference being that one of my major reasons wasn't there anymore. And then everything just…went wrong and I ended up almost ruining my biggest dream. But you came back and I had my reason again and it worked because I still have my dream and I have you. But it still feels wrong somehow, like I'm in the wrong place anyway. And I just can't stop thinking that it's because you're not there. I know it's probably stupid and I know I can't ask you to drop your whole life for me and I don't want you to. But you know, I could…"

That's how far she got before he couldn't keep quiet any longer. "No way, you're not dropping Yale for me. No way, don't even think about it," he exclaimed as forcefully as he could, realizing where this was leading. "I can't let you do that!"

She couldn't help but smile at how passionate he sounded as he spoke. It made her feel warm and loved. And that was a feeling she definitely liked. She raised herself up to look at him and was just about to say something when he continued.

"Besides, it's only one more year, right?" he said, looking back at her. "We can figure something out by then, don't you think? And till we do I can probably work something out so I won't have to be at the office every day. I mean, a lot of the stuff I do there I could just as easily do at home, or somewhere else…" Just then he realized she was staring at him with an expression on her face that he, for once, couldn't quite read. "What?" he asked, searching her eyes for a clue as to what she was thinking.

"I love you," she said simply and leaned down to capture his lips with hers. He closed his eyes and kissed her back, everything else forgotten for the moment. Slowly he let his hands travel down her body until they settled on her waist, pulling her closer still.

The kiss stayed slow and sweet for a long time, neither of them feeling the need to take it further. Eventually though it progressed and got deeper and more intense until they both pulled back, out of breathe and hearts beating fast.

"God, I missed that," he breathed after a moment, smiling up at her and slowly trailing his fingers over her back.

She smiled back at him and kissed him on the cheek before sinking down on top of him, resting her head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat. "You and me both," she whispered and snaked her arms in under him in an attempt to get even closer.

Slowly he began drifting away, despite the still present ache in his muscles feeling better than he had in three weeks. Before he submitted to sleep entirely he felt her leave a trail of feathery kisses over his chest and with a feeling close to pure happiness he let sleep take him away.

* * *

He woke up the next morning to the smell of something burning and instinctively hurried out of bed and out in the kitchen. The sight that met him was priceless. Rory was standing in the middle of the kitchen, still in his T-shirt and a pair of jeans he strongly suspected was his too. Her hair was up in a loose bun with strands poking out every which way. She was covered from head to toe in flour, or something very similar to flour, and in her hands she held a pan. When he looked closer he saw that it contained something that once might have been a cake, but now wasn't more than a heap of black crumbling remains.

He couldn't help himself and burst out laughing, startling her and only laughed more as the pan fell down to the floor with a loud bang, spreading its contents over half the kitchen floor. It mixed with the already present flour, resulting in a pattern very similar to the annoying static in the TV.

He finally stopped laughing when he caught her staring at him with a less than amused expression on her face. But he couldn't completely keep the amusement away and she glared at him, resulting in another burst of laughter. She kept glaring a him, arms crossed over her chest and did her best trying not to laugh too.

"What are you doing?" he asked once he had managed to catch his breathe and gestured to his now far from tidy kitchen.

"I was gonna make you a cake. I did come here to celebrate your birthday, but that was on Saturday and I never did and I thought that I could make you something today instead. But the stupid thing didn't cooperate and I might have forgotten to set the timer and got caught up in a book and now it's ruined!"

She was gesticulating wildly at this point, pacing all over the kitchen and spreading the now fast graying mix on the floor. Looking down she noticed the state of the floor and stopped abruptly. "And so is your kitchen!" she exclaimed and started searching for something to clean it up with. "I'm so sorry, I'll clean it up I promise. I just have to…"

"You were making me a birthday cake?" he asked, cutting her off and sounding so astonished that she stopped her frantic searching and stared at him. He was looking as surprised as she felt at his question and she had no idea how to respond to that.

"I don't think anyone has ever made me a birthday cake before," he said, still sounding a little dazed. "I can't remember any from New York and the one time in Stars Hollow Luke just let me have the day off and made breakfast in the morning. And Jimmy…" He stopped and shook his head a little.

"See, you should have a cake and now I've ruined it," she said, motioning to the pan that was lying in a pile of flour beneath the counter.

"But you look really cute," he said and let his eyes move over her, a smirk forming at his lips. He slowly made his way over to her and stopped right before he made contact. "Thank you," he said, serious again, and raised his hand up to one of her stray locks of hair, twirling it between his fingers, eyes locked on hers.

"For ruining your kitchen?" she asked in disbelief, feeling her breathing elevate under his strong gaze. "In that case you're welcome," she said, leaning a little forward. "And I…" she began, but cut herself off quickly. "Hey, you seem a lot better today," she said instead, smiling brightly.

He was still looking at her with intense eyes and reached up his other hand to cup her face. "Thank you for trying to make me a cake," he said and leaned in to kiss her. It was a sweet kiss and he soon pulled back again. "And from now on you're not allowed to be in my kitchen alone," he said with a smile and kissed her again, this time taking his time.

An hour or two later – she really had no idea what time it was – she gave him one last kiss before slowly getting up from her comfortable position halfway on top of him. "I'll be right back," she said as an answer to his protests and wrapped one of the blankets that still lay beside the bed around her. She hurried out of the room, smiling as she made her way around the clothes that were strewn across the bedroom floor and cringing a little when she walked past the kitchen.

She returned not even a minute later with a bright orange, green and pink plastic bag in one hand and an awkward grip on the blanket that was still more or less covering her. He smirked at her appearance, from the tussled hair and the few still present clusters of white dust to the gap in the blanket over her hip. At the sight of the hideous bag she was carrying he shuddered a little, fleetingly wondering what the person designing it had been on.

"I never gave you your present," she said when she crawled back onto the bed and with a bright smile reached out the bag in her hand to him. Her smile grew wider as he gave the bag a disgusted look before hesitantly accepting it.

"I thought I'd already gotten my present," he said, raising an eyebrow at her as he opened the bag and pulled out its contents, quickly discarding the bag to the floor. He smiled when she blushed and moved his attention to the wrapped gift in his hands. His smile grew even wider when he saw it, dark green bound with black, uncurled string. "The bag was just a joke, huh?" he said and started pulling the string off.

She crawled closer, still absentmindedly holding the blanket in place, and watched his actions apprehensively. When he pulled out two leather bound books she almost held her breath. With her eyes glued to his face she waited while he turned them over and saw the writing on one of them. "Open it," she said when his eyes darted up to hers, a curious expression all over his face.

He slowly complied and was met by a large photo of the two of them, sitting next to each other on a couch at the Dragonfly Inn. They were looking deep into each others eyes, completely oblivious to the rest of the world. Under the picture the words from the front was repeated in Rory's handwriting.

"What's this?" he asked, looking up at her briefly, before turning a couple more pages and finding more photos together with more of Rory's handwriting.

"Exactly what it says," se said, studying him intently. "Happy memories. I wanted to give you something personal. And then mom and I were looking through the photos from her wedding and I found that first one and I got this idea. I've been searching for every photo I could find. They're mostly from the past months, but Babette had some older ones and I called Megan and she had some from here that she was more than happy to give me and grandpa knows this guy that owns a bookbindery and he made the books for me and I…"

"Rory! Breathe!" he cut in, almost afraid she'd pass out if she didn't stop talking soon. "You're rambling again," he said, smiling at her flushed appearance and reached out to pull her over to him. "Thank you," he said, looking her in the eyes and kissing her softly.

"The other one is empty," she said quietly. "I thought you should have something new to write in for your book. I know I'm not supposed to bring it up, but that notebook you have is falling to pieces and…" She was stopped by his lips once again making contact with hers.

"Thank you," he repeated and once again returned his attention to the book in his hands. The current photo was of the two of them walking through a wintry Stars Hollow town square, arms wrapped around each other, laughing at something and carrying a heavy paper bag each. It was a bit blurry, probably due to zooming and motion, but it was clear that they were happy. He didn't even have to think to know when it was from. "That was a good day," he said, nodding to the picture, silently wishing there had been more of those.

"Yeah, it was," she agreed and sat more comfortably beside him, remembering. "I think Andrew started to suspect we were going to buy the whole store," she said, laughing. "God, that bag was heavy."

"Don't blame me for that. You're the one that bought a new copy of _Atlas Shrugged_ in the first place and then insisted on carrying it. I even offered to take it, but you wouldn't let me," he said, smirking at her.

"Like I'd trust you with that? For all I know it would have ended up getting lost somewhere in that bag," she said, glaring at him playfully.

* * *

She went back to Yale on Tuesday night after carrying out her promise to Eric to keep Jess at home for at least two days. When she left the kitchen was back in its pre-cake disaster state and with close supervision she had actually managed to make a real cake. Complete with Chocolate whip cream and cherries it didn't look too bad.

It was late at night when she entered her dorm. After tossing her bag into a corner, kicking off her shoes and throwing her jacket on one of the couches she hurried into her room and slumped down on the bed, reaching for the phone. She smiled when he picked up almost before the first ring was over.


	14. Chapter 13 Pretty Nice

**Not Dreaming**

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry it's been so long since this was updated. It just took a while to start writing it and well, I got stuck halfway or so…

Hugs for everyone who has read and reviewed this story so far. Love you guys!

And thanks to **Knowhere** for your input and thoughts on this. *huggles*

* * *

**Chapter 13. Pretty Nice**

* * *

They had been reading just moments earlier. Or rather, he had been reading and she had listened intently to every well known word. But the sun had gone down a while ago and it was now too dark in the apartment to read. And neither of them had wanted to get up to turn on the lights, being too comfortable right where they were.

When he stopped reading the silence felt eerie, almost like they were all alone in the small town. The only sound that could be heard was a car slowly turning the corner to go around the town square. The faint glow of the street lights was the only thing illuminating the apartment, just enough that they could make out the closest details.

The book now lay discarded on the floor beneath the couch and the hand that had been holding it for the past hour and a half was now deeply tangled in long brown waves. The mouth that was no longer reading the words of Charles Dickens was now instead occupied with exploring the soft skin behind her ear.

The exploring elicited the first sound from her mouth in over an hour. It was a soft moan, followed closely by his name, murmured just loud enough for him to catch.

His lips curled in a small smile at the sound and he slowly made his way over to her mouth. She let out another moan, louder this time, and he smiled broader, capturing her mouth with his lips.

They stayed like that, softly kissing, for a couple minutes before she pulled back and rested her forehead against his. "Thank you for today," she said softly, with a smile playing at her lips and lighting up her eyes. "It was perfect."

"I didn't even remember half the things I should have. I didn't even pick you up. It was hardly perfect," he said a little defensively, though he wasn't exactly sure why he was protesting.

"Oh, shut up!" she exclaimed and swung her hand at his arm, for the first time actually hitting her target. "It _was_ perfect!" She now wore a triumphant smile at her own success and giggled when he smirked at her.

He gave in and bit down his protests. She was happy, why protest something like that? "If you say so," he said and smiled at her, giving her a soft kiss before relaxing again and sinking down even further in the couch.

"Besides, you were really cute, being all nervous," she said teasingly, trying hard not to laugh again. When he didn't say anything she continued. "I don't think I've ever seen you that nervous before. For a moment I almost though you were thinking of proposing…" She drifted off when she felt him tense under her and quickly turned her head to look at him, an inquiring look in her eyes.

"Huh?" he mumbled, not sure how to respond to that. Her words had stunned him to say the least and he still vividly remembered the minutes just before she had arrived.

* * *

He had sworn, loudly, to himself as he watched his hands tremble ever so slightly, failing to light the match. For a brief moment he had regretted that he actually stopped smoking, but he quickly dismissed that thought. Taking a deep breath he had forced his hands to be steady and struck a light, using it to light the candles.

Task completed he had stood for a while, taking in the scene. The table, set for two, that was now lit with candles and decorated with a vase of flowers. Roses to be exact. Red. With a sigh he had suppressed all the protests to what he was doing that his head made up and listened to the music in the background. He had changed the music a couple of minutes ago from _At the Drive In_ to something at least a bit more appropriate.

He might not have been the most experienced when it came to this romantic stuff, in fact he barely knew what he was doing. But he had an idea that there should be music, probably some cheesy love songs, and he was pretty sure that his normal music did not qualify in that category. Instead he had turned his bag inside out, searching for something that would.

As _Human Behaviour_ changed to _Crying_ he had decided that it probably wasn't perfect, but it would have to do. What was ever perfect anyway? And he thought that the memories associated with it might help get the right mood.

Throwing the match away he had given his hands a last disgusted look before shaking his head. "It's just dinner for Gods sake," he exclaimed. "It's not like I'm gonna propose or anything…" As his words entered his mind he had frozen, a thought he never would have anticipated forming.

It had been a pretty simple thought, but definitely a scary one. The idea of actually asking that faithful question for the first time in his life hadn't seemed all that impossible. Or that silly. It had actually sounded pretty nice.

He had stood dumbfounded in the middle of the kitchen for what seemed like an eternity after that, not sure what to think anymore. It had been the distinct sound of heals clicking in the hallway outside that finally shook him out of his thoughts. And as he came out of his daydreams he could have smacked his head in a wall for not thinking more. He definitely should have picked her up.

He had hurried over to the door and opened it just in time to see her raise her hand to knock. She had looked beautiful. That had been his first thought when he saw her. And his only thought for a few seconds. For those seconds the rest of the world had ceased to exist and there were only them.

He had seen her cheeks turn ever so slightly pink and watched as she shifted her feet a little, making the fabric of her light blue dress flow gently around her. He had let his eyes travel the length of her body and swallowed, hard, when he reached her left hand. As if he wasn't nervous enough to begin with the involuntary thought that had formed for the second time in an all too short amount of time only made it worse.

It had been the feeling of skin against his palm that made him realize he had taken a step forward and grasped her hand in his. And the feel of warm breath against his lips that had told him he was kissing her.

* * *

It was her movement next to him that shook him out of the memory and he focused his eyes on her again. He swallowed hard and met her eyes. Her eyes that still held a question in them. He laughed a little uncertainly. "No, I…that was not part of the plans," he mumbled, trying to decide if he should tell her or not.

"Ok," she said, more than a little confused by his reaction. She hadn't actually meant anything by her remark, but judging by the look on his face and the fact that he once again seemed nervous she realized that it had meant something to him.

"I never actually thought about it at all," he said after a moment. "I mean, I don't really have that good memories…"

"Hey, I didn't mean anything like that," she hurriedly said, not wanting him to think she did. "I just thought it was so cute that you were so nervous, 'cause you never really are, and it was fun and then I just though about all the times I've read in some book or something about the guy being all nervous with the fancy dinner and candles and all that and I just couldn't stop it…" She stopped, completely out of breath and saw the grin on his face. She pouted a little, trying to look offended, but had to smile back.

He continued to grin and pulled her closer. "I love it when you ramble. And I know you didn't mean it like that. It's just that… Tonight, before you got here, this thought just hit me and I realized that maybe I'm not that against it after all and it kinda shook me up."

She looked at him for a couple seconds, stunned to say the least. "You would want to get married?" she asked eventually.

"I don't know…maybe…sometime in the future…" He was starting to feel a little embarrassed and was glad that it was dark in the apartment. He was also starting to question the sanity of telling her all of this.

By this time she had recovered from the shock and was starting to see the hidden potentials. She smiled innocently at him and flung her arms around his neck, climbing into his lap at the same time. "I can't wait to tell mom about this," she practically squealed, smiling brightly as a look of horror spread over his face.

"I knew I shouldn't have told you any of this," he groaned out, closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the couch. "You are an awful person, Rory Gilmore." He raised his head again and glared at his girlfriend who was sitting in his lap, practically glowing. "An awful, awful person."

"And still you love me!" She quickly leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, her grin never leaving her face.

"I'm not so sure of that anymore…" he said warily, a thoughtful look on his face.

"Hey!" she exclaimed indignantly. She gaped at him, playing offended, and raised her hand to hit him in the chest. This time however she wasn't as successful as last time. Instead he grabbed her hand and she suddenly found herself pinned down under him on the couch. She had no idea how she had ended up there.

He stared down at her for a second before slowly lowering his head and capturing her mouth with his in a slow, but passionate kiss. He leaned his weight on his arms, hovering over her and could feel her arms snake around his waist moments later, trying to pull him down on her. He heard her moan against his lips and smiled into the kiss.

She felt him smile and sighed contently, moving one of her hands to the back of his head, burrowing it in his hair, pulling his mouth closer to hers. She couldn't believe how perfect this night had turned out.

* * *

He had called her that morning from his cell phone, sounding hurried, and had asked her to meet him that afternoon in Luke's apartment, dressed in something nice. The conversation had only lasted for a couple minutes before he had excused himself and hung up. She had been certain she heard traffic in the background and wondered if he was driving when he called. She knew how much he hated talking on the phone when he was driving.

She had been confused for a while since she had no memory of him saying he was coming up over the weekend. Soon that had turned into excitement when she remembered the date. It was their anniversary. At least the anniversary of the day they had kissed outside her dorm. She wasn't exactly sure if it was their actual anniversary since they hadn't officially said anything about being together that day. But she had felt giddy at the thought that maybe he did, and maybe he had something planned.

She had been swamped with work for the last couple of days, both from the newspaper and for the final week of summer classes, and had almost forgotten all about it. And she had soon realized that she hadn't packed anything she could wear when she went home the day before. She had almost jumped off the bed and run up to the wardrobe, searching for something she could possibly wear. All she had found was jeans and some shirts.

The sound of her mom walking down the stairs shortly after had made her hurriedly bound out of her room, almost running right into her in the narrow passage from the kitchen to the living room. "I have nothing to wear!" she exclaimed, startling Lorelai, who had at the moment just woken up and was in great need of coffee.

Before Lorelai had had any chance to ask her what was the matter, or even catch her breath, she had launched herself into a long rant. It had taken her some time to realize that she wasn't making any sense at all, judging by the look on her mom's face.

After some coffee and a real explanation Lorelai's solution had been to go out shopping. They had spent most of that day in Hartford looking through almost every clothing store they could find. Eventually she had found the perfect dress and been able to relax for the first time that day.

When she had finally started her walk over to the diner she hadn't completely been able to subdue the butterflies in her stomach. She hadn't even been sure why she was nervous, or if it was even nervousness. And she had no idea what to expect. She had been pleasantly surprised by what she found in the apartment.

* * *

And now she found herself almost unable to think. He had finally given in and was no longer holding himself up over her. Instead she felt him press into her while one of his hands was traveling up her thigh. The other was busy with the hair at her neck and his mouth was leaving a trail of kisses along her jaw. She felt chills running through her whole body and heard herself breathe out his name.

She could hear his elevated breathing in her ear and felt his heartbeat against her chest and let her hands travel down his back. Slowly she pulled at his shirt, tugging it up over his back, letting her fingers trail over his skin on the way. She could feel him shiver under her touch and sighed contently.

He took a somewhat shaky breath when her hands successfully pulled his shirt over his head and looked down at her for a second, taking in the sight. Even in the dark of the apartment he saw her rather flushed appearance, the content look on her face and the light in her eyes.

"You're beautiful," he murmured before leaning down, once again claiming her mouth, marveling at the sensation of feeling her body against his again after over a month. Thirty nine days to be exact. It felt like so much longer. Too long. But that would change in a week. He smiled against her lips at the memory of their conversation from only a couple hours earlier.

* * *

They had just finished eating and moved to the couch, both laughing after Rory told him the story about Kirk's latest job idea. He had been sitting at one end of the couch with her beside him, her legs thrown over his and her arms slung over his shoulders. It had taken her some time to stop laughing, but eventually she had calmed down and moved completely onto his lap, sitting more comfortably.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," he said when she had settled herself on him. It was as good a start as any he figured.

"Ok, talk away," she said, still giggling a little.

"Well, your summer classes end on Friday, right?" he started and waited for her confirmation before continuing.

She had nodded a little and turned her head fully to him, a curious and expectant look on her face. "Yeah, they do," she clarified when he didn't continue right away. "Why?"

"Well, I thought that maybe you'd want to come to Philly for a while until you start up school again. I have to finish some things the upcoming weeks and I though that you could come and keep me company."

"I'd love to!" she exclaimed and kissed him on the cheek, smiling brightly.

"I know you have the work at the paper," he said, smiling back at her. "It would just be for a while, but then when I have fewer things to do that I need to be at the office for I thought I could come up here for a while. Maybe stay here for a week or so at times."

He had hardly finished his sentence before she had more or less launched herself at him, as much launching as her already close proximity admitted anyway. He had had to laugh at her enthusiasm, especially since it wasn't entirely coordinated.

"I take that as a positive response," he said, still laughing. "And I do believe someone's had a little too much to drink tonight."

"Hey! Don't blame that on me! You're the one who brought the wine. I only did my duty as the guest and drank it!" She had nodded her head vigorously, almost hitting it against his forehead before he had taken it in both of his hands to hold her still.

"That's your defense, huh?" he asked, smiling at her and kissed her lightly. "Maybe we should do something quiet for a while to let you sober up."

"I am not drunk! I'm just excited!" she defended herself. She hadn't quite been able to stop herself from giggling.

"Whatever you say," he said, shaking his head at her. "I still say we do something to calm you down a bit. And talk more about this tomorrow."

"Fine," she said, giving in. She had gotten a great idea. "Read to me," she said, turning her head to look at him, pulling away a little to make sure he could see her properly. Then she had proceeded to pout, sticking her bottom lip out, making it quiver ever so slightly and given him the patented Gilmore puppy dog eyes, trying to look as adorable as possible.

"Don't you think you're overdoing that just a little bit right now?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her questioningly. She had just continued to pout and he had looked at her, trying to decide if he should give in that easily. "What do you want me to read?" he asked after a second when he couldn't bare looking at her very much exaggerated pouting much longer without laughing.

* * *

That was about two hours ago and she had indeed clamed down. Until now that is. She was definitely not calm at the moment he decided when he felt her reach for his belt, trying to undo it without him moving from his position over her.

Eventually she got it open and pulled it out of the loops holding it. A few seconds later it joined his shirt and the book on the floor and her hands returned to their exploration of his back. She gasped and dug her finger nails into his back when his traveling mouth found its way to her neck and sucked lightly on her pulse point.

He let one of his arms snake around her waist, using it to hold her even closer as he slowly sat them up. Next thing she knew she was standing beside the couch, his hands on her waist holding her to him, while his mouth once again descended on hers. She willingly followed him over to the bed, stumbling a little over a chair leg when they passed the kitchen area.

She glanced at the table when she with his help regained her footing. She could still smell the wonderful food she had eaten only hours before. It was mixed with the lingering scent of the long since burned down candles and the still perfect roses.

They passed the table and his mouth moved to her neck, finding an especially sensitive spot and she closed her eyes again. She felt her legs hit the edge of the bed and stopped walking, letting her hands tangle in his hair, moaning as his mouth found another spot, right behind her ear.

He let his hands travel down her body, to the hem of her dress and slowly back up again, taking the dress with them. His mouth returned to hers for a second before he pushed the dress over her head, letting it fall to the floor. He reclaimed her mouth once again and encircled her in his arms before lowering them both down on the bed.

* * *

It was hours later, almost dawn, and they lay snuggled together on the bed, talking softly about nothing and fighting sleep. Neither of them wanted the night to end. He was gently stroking his hand up and down her arm that lay over his chest, once in a while stopping to finger a little at a lock of hair. In the meantime she was resting her head in the crook of his neck, slowly placing soft kisses along his collar bone.

She suddenly stopped her exploration of his skin and propped herself up on her elbow to look down on him. "Were you really serious about coming up here more often?" she asked a little uncertainly, searching for his eyes in the dim light.

"Decided it's tomorrow, huh?" he said, smirking up at her. "And yes, I was serious. I'm not sure how much I could come up, but at least a lot more than before. Mostly I'm just editing anyway, so as long as I've got a pen I'm good."

"I like the sound of that," she said, smiling down at him. "Where exactly is 'here'?" she asked a second later. "I mean, where are you gonna live?"

"Here maybe," he said, gesturing to the apartment around them. "I can't afford two places at once and well, you've got roommates and there are probably rules against me living at campus. Besides, Luke doesn't really use it anyway, so he said I could stay here as much as I wanted to." He noticed her looking at him with an unreadable expression. "And why are you looking at me like that?"

"I was just thinking…" she began, focusing her eyes on his again. "While I really would like to see you live in this town again, especially Taylor's reaction, I really, really want you nearer to me. And I could talk to my roommates, see if they'd agree to you living there and not telling. It's not like one of them is really there anyway as it is, so…"

"Okay…" he said, smiling up at her and pulled her head down for a kiss. "You ask if you want. I'm not gonna complain." He kissed her again, tangling his fingers in her hair, pulling her closer still.

By now the sun was up over the horizon, judging by the light washing in through the window, and they could hear noises from below, suggesting that Luke was opening up the diner. As if on cue her stomach started to growl, loudly, and she broke away from the kiss, smiling sheepishly at him.

"You want food, huh?" he asked, smirking knowingly at her. "We could probably go down and get something…" He didn't have time to finish before she was halfway out of the bed, a second later already on her way to the door. He watched her walking a few steps, surveying her body, before clearing his throat to get her attention.

She spun around, looking at him questioningly. "What?" she asked, pouting a little and glancing at the door.

"Well…" he began, his smirk widening as she turned around. "Although I definitely don't complain over my current view, I'm not sure Luke would appreciate it as much as I do…" He let the sentence drop and gestured with his hand to her less than dressed appearance.

She blushed furiously when she realized what he was talking about and quickly ran over to the bed, snagging the covers away from him to cover herself up. She didn't quite succeed though and it all ended in her falling over the bed as he pulled back. Still blushing she hid her face in a fold of the covers.

"You know, it's not like I haven't seen all of you before," he teased her, holding back a laugh as he watched her trying to hide and fail entirely. "I do however think that you should work on that one track mind thing you have when it comes to food. I don't particularly want to share this view with anyone else." He easily avoided her hand that came flailing at him.

It took a while before she, still red, emerged form under the covers. And it took a few more minutes before she could meet his eyes without blushing again. It didn't help that he kept smirking at her, unable to keep his amusement out of his eyes.

All in all it took almost fifteen minutes before she managed to, covers securely wrapped around her, make her way through the apartment to the bathroom for a shower.

* * *

When she emerged, towel wrapped around her hair and clad in one of his T-shirts together with a pair of his jeans he was in the kitchen, clearing up after the night before. The only things left on the table were the vase with roses and the now empty candlesticks.

Then she noticed a packet wrapped in blue paper beside the vase. She looked at it curiously before looking over at him for an answer. He was still standing with his back to her, rinsing the plates and seemed to not have noticed her come out of the bathroom.

Smiling to herself she sat down at the table, inspecting the packet, steeling glances at him to see if he had noticed her. When he didn't turn around she picked it up and turned it over. It was completely blank, no text on it what so ever. Smiling to herself she decided it was for her and carefully began to tear the paper off.

He smiled when he heard the distinguished sound of paper ripping and stole a glance over his shoulder to look at her. She was staring intently at the packet in her hands, seemingly doing everything she could to avoid destroying the paper. Smirking at the sight he turned around fully, leaning against the counter and watched her continue her task with slightly furrowed brows.

She eventually got the paper off and revealed a very familiar looking notebook. She frowned, her eyes immediately darting up to him, finding him looking back at her with an unreadable expression on his face. "What's this?" she asked confused, motioning in his direction with the hand holding the notebook.

"Open it," he said, nodding a little. He kept his eyes locked on hers, moving his feet a little as if to move away from the counter, but ultimately stayed where he was.

She broke eye contact, once again focusing on the notebook and opened it slowly, not sure what to expect. What first caught her eyes was the inscription on the first page, written in her own handwriting. She had written those words only just over a month and a half ago, not expecting to see them this soon, if ever again.

"You wrote it already?" she asked, astonished to say the least. She couldn't, not that she tried, hide her excitement and smiled brightly at him.

"Well, not exactly…" he said, trying to suppress the light blush rising on his cheeks from her apparent enthusiasm. "I sorted out all the bits and pieces I had written and put them in the right order. I still need to do a lot of editing and cutting and probably rewrite a whole lot of it. But I thought you might want to see it."

"Of course I do!" she squealed, practically jumping up from the chair she was sitting in and flinging her arms around his neck. "Thank you so much!" she exclaimed before kissing him.

"Don't expect any miracles," he said when they broke apart minutes later, resting his forehead against hers. "I told you it still needs a lot of work, and it might not ever get finished."

"Of course it will!" she said firmly, giving him one last kiss before pulling out of his hold and plopping down on the chair again, opening the notebook and starting to read. She hadn't gotten more than a few sentences before the distinct smell of coffee drifted in through the apartment door from the diner below, reminding her that she was hungry.

She thought for half a second, weighing her desire to read his writing against her need for food and coffee. Smiling up at him she closed the notebook and stood up, hurriedly making her way over to the door, notebook in a secure grip in her hand. She remembered the towel around her hair just in time to drape it over the chair.

"Hey!" he almost yelled after her when he saw her leaving, not at all comfortable with the fact that she was going down in the diner with his notebook. The diner that was always full of all too nosy people. "Don't…"

"I won't," she promised, turning back and giving him a kiss on the cheek, before leaving the apartment in search of some nourishment.

He stared after her for a moment, trying not to worry. It wasn't that he didn't trust her, he just knew the people in this crazy town. With a sigh and a last glance at the door he went to take a shower too.

* * *

When he came down the stairs ten minutes later, hair still damp, he found her sitting talking to Lane at a corner table. He instinctively searched for the notebook, letting out a small breath when he found it lying securely closed on the table, her hand placed firmly on top of it. And a quick glance around the room revealed that there were only a couple people there, and none of them seemed to look twice at him.

He made his way over to his girlfriend, giving her a quick kiss as he sat down beside her. He smiled out a greeting for Lane once he was sat and was a little surprised at the smile she gave him in return. They had never really gotten along when he lived here, and after he left he had been sure she'd hate him forever. But she seemed almost happy to see him, and he wasn't one to question her reasoning. He was just happy he seemed to have one less enemy in town.

They sat there, the three of them, talking about normal stuff like school, work, the band, for a couple minutes, until Luke called for Lane to get back to work. And then it was just a normal Sunday morning in Stars Hollow.

Kirk came bounding in the diner, asking for coffee and changing his order at least five times. Miss Patty and Babette showed up, immediately walking over to them, asking a lot of more or less impertinent questions. And eventually Lorelai came stumbling in through the door, claiming to be about to die from coffee withdrawal. She miraculously recovered when she spotted her daughter though and came over.

In the following hour he many times felt like he was on display while his girlfriend who had a firm grip on his hand talked to her mother about everything they could think of, including almost everything from the past day. There were more than one time he wished for a hole to open up under him and swallow him whole. And through all of it Luke went around the diner with a smirk on his face and an amused spark in his eyes.

But he stayed, figuring he'd be able to make Rory compensate him for his sufferings later. He had decided he could live with Lorelai teasing him and he could always get back at her later. Sometimes it was a good thing that Luke started rambling when he was nervous. It produced a lot of payback material for situations like these.

* * *

He had just gotten through the door to his own apartment that night when his phone rang and he smirked to himself when he recognized the excited voice on the other end. He almost didn't catch her rambling, but eventually he realized that her excitement emanated from the fact that her roommates had agreed to him staying with her. As long as they didn't know what was going on or heard any mysterious sounds at night.

When he went to bed that night he made a mental note to check train schedules to New Haven. If he was going to be spending more time with Rory he would probably need the time traveling to do some work. And he didn't think driving and reading was a good combination. Closing his eyes he fell asleep almost immediately, more tired after the sleepless night than he had realized.


	15. Chapter 14 Yale Tales

**Not Dreaming**

* * *

**A/N:** This took a while longer than I had thought to get out. Sorry about that.

Thank you so much for the reviews guys! :D

Once again thanks to **Knowhere** for being an amazing beta. :D

* * *

**Chapter 14. ****Yale Tales**

* * *

He was cold; his body ached after sitting still for so long and his stomach was reminding him that he hadn't eaten in over ten hours. But as his bag clashed against the back of his legs with every step as he hurried across the campus and over to the dorms, he barely noticed his hunger.

Opening the front door he took a deep breath, stopping for a moment to gather his thoughts. Then he slowly made his way through the dark and empty hallway and up to the right door.

He knew it was only his imagination, but the atmosphere felt frosty when he opened the door. He thought he could almost see his breath freeze outside his mouth and there was a definite chill running down his arms. And it had nothing to do with the time of the year.

He closed the door slowly and placed the keys down on the desk to his left, looking around trying to determine where she was. Then he heard a loud bang from her room, the room he almost started to refer to as theirs, and winced.

Hesitantly he approached the half open door, setting down his bag on the couch on his way. Halfway there he heard another bang, this time followed by a crash and some swearing, and he grimaced, taking a deep breath.

He reached the doorway and suddenly found himself in what looked almost like a war zone. And in the middle of it stood a very angry Rory, hair on end and clothes askew.

"What are you doing?" he asked carefully, momentarily too stunned to remember what he was going to say.

"God damnit, you scared me!" she exclaimed, jumping a little at his voice, but soon went back to plain angry. "What does it look like?" she snarled, eyes flaring and arms flailing in the air. "I'm cleaning!"

"Huh." It took him about half a second to realize that was far from the right thing to say, but then it was already too late. He winced again in anticipation of what was to come and was far from disappointed.

"Huh?" she almost yelled. "That's your response? Huh?" Her eyes weren't just flaring now; he almost thought they were shooting ice bolts at him. "I waited! For two hours I sat here waiting for you! Then I figured your 'I might be a little late' time was up and tried to call. And guess what? Your phone is off!" By now she was full out screaming.

"I'm sorry…" he started, trying to get closer to her, but she was still waving her arms violently around her.

"You said you'd be here at four! In the afternoon! It's almost midnight now! Where the hell were you?" Too frustrated to care how childish she looked she stomped her foot hard in the floor, making some of the scattered things around her jump.

He winced as she continued to scream at him, and was just about to say something when she started up again.

"I didn't know if I was supposed to be worried that something had happened to you or angry because you didn't show up!" She stopped, standing still in the middle of the room and let her arms fall to her sides.

Deciding that the immediate risk of bodily harm was over he took the final step up to her and encircled her with his arms. "I'm sorry," he mumbled against her hair.

"Do you know how many different things I imagined might have happened? How many times I thought about calling the hospital?" She felt all the rage that had filled her for the last couple of hours seep out. "Where were you?" she asked again, hugging him back.

"On a bench on the other side of campus. I got inspired for the next chapter of the book and I sat down to write. And I couldn't seem to stop and suddenly it was a quarter to midnight." He tightened his hold on her and pressed a kiss to her temple. "I'm really sorry."

"Don't disappear like that again," she whispered against his chest, all of a sudden feeling completely drained. "Please."

"I'll try not to," he whispered back, loosening his grip on her a little and guiding her with him out of the room and back to the common room. One look on the room they left behind had told him it would take a while to get it back to livable condition.

"I'm too tired to be angry at you anymore," she said after she had sat down on the couch beside him. "But don't think that means you're completely forgiven," she added as she curled up against him.

"Okay," he said, holding her close.

"I'm beat. I've been working on autopilot for the last three hours or so," she said, yawning.

"How long have you been…uh…cleaning?" he asked, glancing at the disaster in the next room.

"Since seven," she said, starting to feel her eyes falling close. "God, this has been such a bad day."

"Want to talk about it?" he asked. "You know, besides the obvious."

She yawned again and nodded a little. "You know the class I've been looking forward to the past month? Well, it was this morning and it was a complete waste of time. The professor was sick or something, so we got a replacement, and he had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. It was terrible."

"Sorry," he said, and kissed her gently on her temple.

"Not your fault." She turned her head up a little and gave him a small smile. "Then, when it was finally over I went to get coffee to get in a better mood and someone ran into me and I spilled all my coffee all over me. So now I had coffee all over my clothes and no more money for new coffee and ten minutes to get to the next class. So I ran home and changed and got there five minutes late, still without coffee, and I almost fell asleep during class. It was really bad."

"And when I went by the paper on my way to lunch to see how things were going there were four people who hadn't finished their articles yet. They should have been done this morning. I still hadn't had any coffee and I just got so angry. I yelled at them and I think I called then some really bad things." She cringed as she remembered what she had said then.

"Hey, it's okay. They'll get over it," he said and squeezed her arm reassuringly.

"I hope so," she sighed and shook her head. "But I shouldn't have lost it so completely on them. The articles weren't that important and they could be done easily in the afternoon."

"You can always explain and apologize if you want to," he said.

"Yeah, I already did." She yawned again and stretched a little before settling down comfortably in his arms again. "I still feel really bad about it though."

"And because of that they'll forgive you before you see them again," he said and stroked her arm gently. "You should sleep."

"I'm not done yet," she said when he started getting up from the couch. "I ran into Logan this afternoon."

"The one I think you're talking about?" he asked, sitting back down again.

"The very one," she confirmed and sat up, looking at him.

"Huh, what's he doing here?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said slowly. "I saw him, turned around and walked away. I don't even know if he saw me."

"Come here," he said, motioning for her to sit back down against him. She complied and they sat there in silence for a couple minutes. "You want to know why he's here?" he asked then, startling her out of her thoughts.

"I don't know," she said uncertainly, once again settling in comfortably. "I was not expecting to see him again, ever, so I wasn't at all prepared when I did. And then I didn't really have time to think about it."

"Okay," he said again, thinking about it and taking a deep breath. Closing his eyes he tightened his hold of her.

"I'll think about that tomorrow," she said, yawning again. "Now I want to sleep. I'm exhausted."

"Yeah, me too," he said and stood up, pulling her with him. He waited till she was in the bathroom and then he fell back down on the couch with a sigh. This was not what he had thought he'd do now when he left that morning. And he definitely hadn't thought he'd be thinking about Logan.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to clear his head. Then he went over to survey the mess in the other room. It would probably take a couple hours to get it livable again and there was no way they could sleep there tonight. He sighed again and went to get some spare sheets and a blanket for the couch. Then he put his cell phone on charge.

* * *

The first thing she saw when she emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later was that the couch was made up for the night. "You don't have to sleep on the couch," she said, not very comfortable with the thought of sleeping without his arms around her. She had gotten too used to it by now.

"Yes I do," he said from the other end of the room, where he was eating an apple to try to still his grumbling stomach. "And so do you," he added before she could protest again. "The bed is not exactly…sleepable." He grimaced a little, not sure if it was from the word or the reason behind it.

"Oh." She glanced in the direction of the now closed door and mimicked his grimace. "Well, you know who's sleeping on the edge," she said and crept in under the blanket, making herself comfortable.

"I'm sorry about today," he said when he got in beside her.

"I'm glad you're here now," she said sleepily, laying her head down on his shoulder. "Besides, I can think of a couple ways for you to make up for it."

* * *

When he woke up the next morning she was no longer lying beside him and the sheets were cold, indicating that she had been up for a while. Stretching his stiff muscles he reached for his watch that was lying on the table. It showed half past six. He stared at it before shaking it and checking that it was working properly. It still said half past six. Granted an extra couple seconds, but still too early.

Rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out he sat up and scanned the room, finding her sitting against a wall, reading. Looking closer he recognized what she was reading and groaned, closing his eyes tightly.

"Rory, what are you doing?" he asked, watching her as she turned a page.

"I'm reading," she said absentmindedly, her eyes not leaving the page and not slowing down their travel over the words.

"I can see that, but why?" he asked, getting up from the couch and walking over to her, putting on a T-shirt on his way.

"I figured that since this was what made you late yesterday I had a right to read it." She still hadn't looked up from the pages, her eyes seemingly glued to the paper.

"I wanted to edit that before you read it," he said and sat down beside her, glancing at the page she was on.

"It's good," she said, finally looking up and meeting his eyes. "It might just be good enough to make you almost forgiven."

"Just like that?" he asked and she smiled at his puzzled expression.

"I said almost," she reminded him, her smile morphing into a grin. "You are coming with me to the dorm's Halloween party on Saturday."

"I'm what?" he exclaimed, staring at her satisfied grin.

"I already had mom make costumes; I just didn't know how to make you go with me." Her grin grew if possible even wider at his horrified look when she mentioned costumes.

"So, this is why you didn't yell more at me than you did last night, huh?" he asked and nodded to himself. "Just out of curiosity, how long have you been planning on dragging me to this?"

"Oh, not more than a month or so," she said, smiling innocently.

"A month? You've been trying to come up with a good reason for me to go for a month?" He looked at her astonished.

"Well, yeah," she admitted, smiling a bit sheepishly.

"How come I've never heard of this party before?" he asked, curious.

"Because I asked everyone not to say anything," she said. "And you were in Philly for most of the actual planning."

"You do know Halloween isn't on Saturday, right? Isn't the whole point of having a Halloween party to have it on the actual day?"

"You can't get out of this, you know," she said, shaking her head and grinning at him.

He sighed and looked at her, shaking his head at her apparent enthusiasm. "So, what are we gonna be then?"

"It's a surprise. You'll see tonight when mom comes by with the costumes." She leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Aren't you excited?"

"You have no idea," he muttered and slid down the wall a little more, resting his head against the hard surface.

"It will be fun, trust me," she said, leaning her head on his shoulder and taking his hand in hers.

"Where are Sarah and Emma?" he asked after a while, suddenly realizing he hadn't seen either of them since the morning before. The fact that Linda wasn't there was nothing new, since she never was when he was there, or any other time for that matter, but the other two he had grown accustomed to see early in the mornings.

"Oh, they had no classes today, so they went home yesterday afternoon," Rory said, almost adding a 'thankfully' at the end, but stopping herself just in time, not wanting to spoil the good mood of the morning.

"Oh, okay," he mumbled, feeling a little relieved. "Good thing they weren't here last night, huh?" he said, squeezing her hand a little.

"Yeah, probably," she said quietly and they both grew quiet again.

"You really think it's good?" he asked after a long silence and felt his heartbeat pace up as he waited for her answer.

"Of course I do!" She sat up straight and studied him where he sat slumped down against the wall, looking back at her with an unusually unsure look in his eyes. "I wouldn't have said that if I didn't."

He looked up at her, nodded and smiled a little before getting to his feet. "We should probably get ready and eat breakfast before you have to go to class."

She gave him a perplexed look as he reached down a hand to pull her up. Shaking her head she took his outstretched hand and smiled up at him. "You are buying breakfast," she said and walked past him to the bathroom, kissing him lightly on the cheek on her way.

"Yes ma'am," he agreed, staying in place, staring after her, wondering how long he'd have to make up for last night. At least she didn't act like she was angry at him, which he saw as a good thing. An angry Rory was hard to reason with and he did not want to encounter her if he could help it.

While he waited for her to be done with her shower he folded the sheets and blanket on the couch and then checked and double checked that his cell phone was charged before returning it to his bag. From now on he'd make sure it was always charged.

* * *

After they had both showered, dressed and packed their things they left the dorm and went to a small diner just off campus. It had become their usual breakfast place in the past months when he was here.

Breakfast was spent talking about normal things, possible articles for the paper, the script he had started reading the day before, the latest addition to the breakfast menu at the diner. Neither of them brought up the subject they both were really thinking about. Not until they were walking in silence to her first class.

"I think I want to know," she said, suddenly stopping in the middle of the walk way they were going down.

It took him a second to realize she had stopped and when he did he turned around, looking at her, meeting her wary eyes. "Okay," he said, standing still and waiting for her to continue. Although he'd tried to avoid thinking about it all morning he'd known this was coming. He still wasn't sure how he felt about it though.

"I know I'll just go around and wonder if I don't," she said and gripped his hand tighter.

"Yeah," he sighed, taking a step closer to her again. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to control his feelings. He wanted badly to tell her not to talk to him, but knew he couldn't, and wouldn't for that matter.

"I don't want to talk to him, just know why he's here," she said, almost as if she had been reading his mind.

He kissed her on the forehead and wrapped his free arm around her. "You know, I think you do want to talk to him. Figure out what really happened or something."

She thought about it for a while and then nodded. "Yeah, I probably do," she said with a sigh and hugged him back, then quickly withdrew to look at him. "You sure you're okay with this?" she asked.

"No," he admitted quietly, kissing her softly. "But you want to do it…"

"You do know that doesn't change things between us, right?" she interjected, cutting him off. "I won't want to get back with him or anything, just get everything sorted out so I can put it past me for good. I still love you; that's not changed. And it won't…"

Despite his feelings about her talking to Logan he couldn't help but smile at her rambling. With a slight chuckle he pulled her close again and kissed her, effectively cutting her off. "I know," he said, kissing her again, suppressing the relieved sigh that wanted to escape.

She smiled a little, kissing him back hard. "I love you," she whispered against his mouth. "But now I really have to go to class," she mumbled, pulling back reluctantly.

He hugged her tighter and then let go and they started walking again. He opened the door for her and she smiled a little at the gesture as she walked inside. He caught up to her and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close, as they walked the short distance to the class room.

They arrived at the door and stopped, turning to each other. He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss. "Have fun," he said with a smirk and released his grip on her waist.

"See you at lunch?" she asked, giving him another kiss and smiled when he pulled her closer again.

"I'll be there," he confirmed, somewhat regretfully once again letting her go and watched as she opened the door to the classroom and went in.

* * *

He spent the morning in the nearest library, wanting a quiet place to concentrate on the script. He had almost read it through when his watch beeped, signaling it was time for lunch. With a last glance at the page he was reading he somewhat reluctantly put it back in the bag and left the library.

When she emerged from the building after her second class that day he was leaning against the wall outside the main doors, waiting for her. He pushed himself off the wall and walked up to her. "Learned anything useful?" he asked as he wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her temple.

"As a matter of fact, yes I did," she said, smiling at him and giving him a proper kiss. "It was really interesting."

"Good." He nodded and smiled at her enthusiasm. "So, where to for lunch?" he asked and gestured vaguely around them.

"The cafeteria is closest," she shrugged and looked at him questioningly.

"Sure," he agreed and they started off, his arm still wrapped around her waist.

"So, how was the script?" she asked, curious to know if there would be a new book or not.

"It's really good actually," he said and turned to her with a smirk. "I almost didn't want to put it down."

"Then it must be really good," she agreed, nudging him with her elbow and glared at him playfully.

His smirk grew wider as he watched her. "Feeling jealous of a book, are we?"

"Well, I won, so there isn't really much to feel jealous about, is there?" she asked. By now they had reached the cafeteria and he let go of her and opened the door. "And who says it's not you I'm jealous of?" She smiled brightly at him and entered, giggling as he shook his head at her.

A couple minutes later they were just about to sit down at an empty table when he spotted a familiar face across the room. After putting down his sandwich and soda he touched her elbow. "I guess you might get to know sooner than you expected," he whispered in her ear and cocked his head in the direction of Logan.

"Oh," she said, looking in the direction he indicated and took a deep breath. "I don't think I want to do this now."

"I don't think you have a choice," he said, unconsciously taking a small step closer to her when he saw Logan noticing them and approach. "Unless you want to leave now that is."

"No, I should get it over with," she said slowly, looking up at him, smiling slightly. "You want to stay?" she asked, almost hopefully.

"Sit here, trying to act friendly with my girlfriend's ex? I don't think so," he said, shaking his head.

"Why not?" she asked, glancing back at Logan who had almost reached them by now.

"Remember what happened last time we did that?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "I really don't want anything even close to that happening again, in any direction. You want to talk to him? Fine. Do I like the thought of that? No, but I can live with it. But I rather not have to talk to him, ever again."

"Okay," she sighed. "You're probably right."

He gave her a small smile and kissed her softly. "I'll be outside," he said

"I love you," she said and leaned in to kiss him again.

He wrapped both his arms around her, holding her tight and kissed her back. "I love you too," he said and then let her go, nodding a little, picked up his food and started off in the direction of the exit.

She took a deep breath and looked after him before turning around and finding herself face to face with Logan for the first time in almost a year. "Did you want something?" she asked, relieved that she didn't feel anything else than the lingering traces of anger when looking at him.

"I just wanted to say hi," Logan said, his eyes following the person he had just seen kiss her before leaving with a blank stare in his direction.

"Okay, hi," she said, trying to sound natural. "Do you mind if I eat? I'm starving," she said, sitting down and motioning to her food, thinking it wasn't a complete lie. She was hungry, though she might survive another hour or so. In reality she just wanted something to focus her mind on, to make this talk easier.

"Was that who I think it was?" Logan asked, redirecting his attention to Rory.

"That depends on who you think it was," she answered, opening her soda and taking a sip.

"Can I sit?" he asked, walking around the table to the chair opposite her.

"Yes," she said, only hesitating for a second and picked up a fry from the plate and nibbling at it.

"Can you at least look at me?" he asked, pulling out the chair and sitting down carefully.

She looked up at him, meeting his eyes with an as indifferent gaze as she could muster before turning her attention back to her food. "What are you doing here?" she asked, picking up a new fry, but dropping it back down, looking up at him again, locking eyes with him and holding his gaze.

"My father needed me here for something or other and I thought I'd take the opportunity to visit some old friends," he said with a nod to the people he had been talking to before.

"Ah, should have known," she said with a knowing look.

"Yeah, well…" he said with a dismissing gesture.

"So, checking up on friends huh?" she asked as casually as she could. She didn't' know how to ask the question she really wanted to.

"Yeah, I've been busy…" he started vaguely. "And maybe I thought I'd see you…and apologize for what happened. I didn't know if you'd want to talk to me at all."

"Me neither, but I think I needed to," she said slowly, once again looking down on her fries.

"You seem happy," he said then, making her look up and she thought she saw a regretful look on his face for a second.

"I am," she said with a small nod and smiled a little.

* * *

When she walked out of the cafeteria some time later she spotted him almost immediately, sitting on a bench with the seemingly forgotten soda can in one hand and a book in the other. She could also tell that he wasn't really concentrated on the words as much as he stared at the page. Smiling to herself she slowly approached and sat down beside him on the bench.

"Hi," he said and looked up at her, putting the soda down.

"Can you ever not know when I'm coming?" she asked with a sigh and laughed a little. "It's no fun when I can't sneak up on you."

"Are you gonna pout now?" he asked and smirked as she tried, but failed and a smile broke out on her face.

"Don't mock me!" she exclaimed, but couldn't help laugh more.

"So, how did it go?" he asked, suddenly serious again.

"Okay," she said. "It felt weird, but not more than expected. And it feels good to have it done and behind me completely."

"Good," he said, suddenly feeling lighter, but trying to ignore it. "So, what was he doing here?"

"Mitchum called, he came," she shrugged. "Nothing's changed it seems."

"Did you expect it to?" he asked.

"No, not really," she admitted. She reached out for his hand and intertwined their fingers, following the movement with her eyes. "This kinda ruined our lunch, huh?" she asked, looking up at him again. "Sorry about that."

"Kinda," he agreed, smiling at her. "But there will be more lunches."

"I'm still sorry though," she said, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Well, in that case you can make up for it by going to dinner with me tonight."

"Consider it a date," she said, smiling to herself.

"When's Lorelai coming?" he asked then, remembering she was supposed to come by.

"Around six I think," she said, sitting up again. "She is going somewhere with Luke tonight, so they're dropping the costumes off on their way."

"Luke knows about this?" he asked with a grimace, glaring at her.

"You didn't seriously think that my mom could keep anything from Luke, did you?" she asked, giving him a pointed look and a bright smile.

"No, that would have been too much to ask, I guess," he said with a sigh.

"It's not that bad," she said and squeezed his hand. "But I should probably get going now, so I don't miss the meeting. I don't think they'd be happy with me if I don't show up. Especially after all the yelling I did yesterday."

When she didn't make a move to get up he stood up and pulled her with him. "Come on then," he said, smiling at her reluctance and with a firm grip on her hand started walking in the direction of the paper. "Don't worry about them, okay. They'll forgive you, I promise."

"I hope so," she sighed and followed.

* * *

After dropping her off at the paper he went directly back to the dorm and started organizing the mess she had made the night before. After studying it a little closer he realized it wasn't as bad as he first thought. It still took three hours to get everything back to looking they way it should and when he was done he fell down on the now clear bed.

He woke up with the feeling of something soft against his cheek, only then realizing he had fallen asleep. Opening his eyes he was met by Rory's eyes looking down on him, an amused expression lighting them.

"Hey, you're home," he said, trying to get his eyes to focus properly.

"And you've been busy, I see," she said smiling, her fingers lingering on his cheek.

"Yeah, I guess," he said with a yawn, stretching to get his muscles to wake up again. "What time is it?

"A quarter after five," she said after checking her watch. "I'm gonna take a shower before mom gets here."

"Want company?" he asked, reaching up a hand and trailing his fingers softly down her neck, smirking as she shivered at the touch.

"And who'd that be?" she asked, winking at him and started for the bathroom, barely containing her laughter when he almost jumped off the bed to follow her.

Her laughter was caught off though when he caught up to her just as she reached the bathroom door. And it was completely forgotten when he turned her around, pressing her up against the door and kissing her passionately.

* * *

They had just barely walked out of the bathroom again when they heard a knock. She stopped dead in her tracks in the middle of the room and looked down on her less than dressed appearance. The knock came again and she looked up at Jess, standing by the closet with a T-shirt in his hand.

"Are you gonna get that?" he asked, a wide smirk on his face as he nodded towards the door.

She blinked at him, snapped the T-shirt out of his hand and hurried over to the door, pulling the shirt over her head and quickly drying her hair on a towel on the way. On the other side of the door stood Luke and Lorelai, holding a garment bag each, and looking a bit surprised by her appearance.

"I was in the shower," she offered with a timid smile, feeling the blush rising on her cheeks.

"The shower, huh?" Lorelai commented, smiling knowingly at her flustered daughter.

Just then Jess came out of the other room, fully clothed, but his hair still wet, and leaned against the door frame. "Hello Luke, Lorelai," he said with a nod.

Luke just stared at him for a couple seconds before shaking his head. "Uhm…here are the…uhm…things… We should get going," he said awkwardly, reaching out the bag he was holding to Rory, not meeting her eyes.

"Um, yeah, we should go," Lorelai agreed, winking at Rory as she reached out her bag. "Have fun tonight," she said and waved, smiling at her now even more blushing daughter.

As they left Jess went up to the door and closed it, turning to his very much embarrassed girlfriend. "Are you gonna let those go?" he asked, motioning to the two bags she was holding to her body.

"In a moment, I have to recover first," she mumbled, taking a deep breath.

"Oh, come on. It wasn't that bad," he laughed. "Here, give me those. You've got a dinner to get ready for." Still chuckling he gave her a kiss and took the two bags, laying them out over the couch.

"Where are we going?" she asked and turned towards him again, feeling her cheeks returning to their normal color.

"You'll see," he simply said, while pulling down the zipper on one of the bags.

Grumbling over his lack of cooperation she quickly surveyed his clothes, a pair of faded jeans and a dark red shirt, trying to figure out what to wear. Finally she settled on a long sleeved red and black dress that matched his shirt and wouldn't be too cold.

* * *

When she returned after getting dressed, applying some mascara and brushing her hair she found him standing in the middle of the common room, an odd look on his face and staring at the two costumes now neatly placed side by side over the couch.

One was a long, flowing dress in a yellow, shimmering fabric with shoes that very much looked like they weren't there. The other consisted of an oversized coat with the cuffs turned back almost half their length, a pair of very well worn shoes and a sagged felt hat.

"Quite an odd pair, don't you think?" he asked, an eyebrow raised, his expression changing to one of appreciation as he turned his head towards her.

"Well, mom refused to make anything other than a pretty dress for me and I couldn't resist the opportunity to see my Dodger," she explained, feeling her cheeks color slightly again under his gaze.

"Ah, I knew there was a reason," he said, smiling at her and turned back to the costumes. "I don't think I would have made a very good prince Charming anyway."

"Well, I don't think I remember a white steed anywhere, but you can be quite charming, if you want to that is," she said and walked up to him, circling his waist with her arms from behind. "But you'll always be my Dodger."

"I think I can live with that," he said, ignoring the part about being charming for now and took her hands in his. "So, will Cinderella be ready for her ball this year?"

"Yes, she will," she said, kissing his neck. "Should we go?"

"Or we could just stay here," he suggested, closing his eyes and gripped her hands tighter as she left a trail of kisses down his neck.

"No, no backing out now," she said teasingly. "You promised me dinner."

"Then you should stop that," he said and groaned as she bit gently on his skin.

Giggling she gave his neck one last kiss and pulled back, satisfied with her result. "Come on, I'm getting hungry," she said and tugged on his hands to make him follow her.

"Evil woman," he muttered under his breath as he put on his coat, trying to slow down his breathing again. She only smiled brightly at him as response and intertwined their fingers again, opening the door.

* * *

They got back late after a long dinner at a small, quiet Italian restaurant not too far from campus. After dinner they had taken a walk through campus, almost circling it twice and when they finally entered the dorm it was close to midnight. Upon entering he quickly went to bed while she went to cover the costumes again.

He was lying on his back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, when she crawled in next to him. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer, till her head was resting on his chest. She let out a small sigh and settled in comfortably, her leg over his and one of her hands slowly twirling a lock of hair at his neck.

They lay still like that until he felt her let out a yawn and her fingers started to slow down. "Tired?" he asked with a yawn, closing his eyes.

She mumbled something unintelligible and he could feel her trying to hold back another yawn. He tightened his grip on her a little and bent his head to kiss her on the forehead.

"G'night Rory," he said softly and was soon asleep, tired after the past two days and really glad to not be sleeping on the couch again.


	16. Chapter 15 Christmas Mornings

**Not Dreaming**

* * *

**A/N:** So…it didn't take two months this time. And it's long, the longest so far, so that should make up for the time it actually did take.

Thanks for the reviews as always. They make me happy. I'd love some way to contact the anonymous reviewers too, but a huge thank you here will have to do for the moment.

And thank you **Knowhere** for your help and for pointing out all the stupid things I write. :)

This chapter is for **Sandi** for your constant support and ideas. Thank you!

* * *

**Chapter 15. Christmas Mornings**

* * *

"Do we really have to do this?" he asked for what seemed like the hundredth time, his eyes almost begging her to forget the idea. It had been a reoccurring subject over the past days since he arrived, and so far neither of them had given in. "Your grandfather I can actually get along with and I could probably handle your grandmother for a couple hours. But all of their friends? You want me to spend a whole night in that stuck up house with a bunch of high society people who don't have a clue about the real world?"

"I told you, I can't just skip it. They're my grandparents and I promised them we'd come." She looked at him apologetically, hoping he'd understand.

"You mean you promised them you'd come and now I have to come with you," he clarified, rubbing his hand over his forehead.

"Please Jess," she pouted, looking up at him with huge, pleading eyes.

"Aw God, please don't do that!" he exclaimed after looking at her for a second. "You should not be allowed to do that!"

"That means you'll come?" she asked hopefully, her eyes brightening.

"Please don't make me do this," he said, halfheartedly, knowing he had given in a long time ago.

She flung her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately, toppling them both over and onto the couch in the process. Recognizing the battle as finally lost, he kissed her back, pressing her against him, trying to forget about the now inevitable party later that day.

* * *

The evening turned out to be just as horrible as he had predicted. Not only were the people seriously annoying but he definitely didn't feel comfortable in the black suit Rory had made him wear. And the food was inedible to say the least.

He didn't even find any comfort in the fact that Luke, Lorelai and even Rory seemed to share his point of view. If possible that only made it worse. If Rory was happy there was always a chance that her mood would rub off on him. But a gloomy and distressed Rory only made his mood worse.

The only good part of the evening had been the hour spent in Richard's library, the one place in the whole house he actually liked. And he had to admit the old man had pretty good taste in books. But he hadn't been able to hide away there forever and too soon they had been forced to rejoin the rest of the crowd.

After a heroic four hours he had finally had enough. He couldn't stand this any longer. If he didn't leave he wouldn't answer for his actions the next time one of the insufferable people came up to chat. Not that they had tried that often lately. He figured that the scowl that had started forming over his face almost as soon as they returned back from the library had something to do with it. But he didn't plan on doing anything about it and so far Rory hadn't tried either, a fact that surprised him, but one he was very grateful for at the same time.

Just then he saw Emily Gilmore walking in their direction with a determined look on her face and his decision was made. "Come on," he said to Rory, grabbed her hand and started walking in the opposite direction. To his great relief she hardly protested.

"What are you doing?" she asked when he stopped abruptly in the foyer and looked around.

"Looking for our coats," he said, still searching for some place where they might be.

"You're what?" Rory asked, sounding a little surprised. "But we can't just leave," she protested, but not without some relief in her voice.

"Oh yes, we can. We either leave now or I'll do something both you and I will regret afterwards." He stopped in the middle of the foyer. "Now where the hell do they put the coats in this damned house?"

"Shh, keep it down," Rory scolded him, but she couldn't quite keep the giggle out of her voice. "They're probably over there," she said then and tugged on his hand, walking over to the right.

As soon as they were out in the open air and the door was closed behind them he loosened his tie, unbuttoned the first two buttons in his shirt and took a deep breath. It almost felt like he could breathe again for the first time in years.

Then she started laughing. He looked astonished at her for a second, but then started to pull her with him towards his car. "Come on, we don't want them to hear us, do we?" he asked when she stumbled after him, hardly able to walk from too much laughing. "What's so funny anyway?"

"Emily… She will…have a heart attack when she notices…we just left," she managed to get out and almost fell down on the passenger seat once he had opened the door.

He stared at her for a second and then joined her laughing. He closed the door, rounded the car and slumped down in the driver's seat, still laughing. It wasn't until a couple minutes later that they had both calmed down enough to be able to look at each other without starting to laugh again.

"I'd give a lot to see her reaction when she finds out," he said a few minutes later, still smiling.

"You're evil," she accused, but her eyes were gleaming. "Oh, I should call mom and let her know we left," she said, fishing up her cell phone from her purse, smiling brightly at him. "She can give you the details later," she added, a mischievous grin on her face as she started her phone.

"Who's evil now?" he smirked at her and started the car, backing out of the parking space. "Where to?" he asked as he drove through the gate and out on the street.

"Home," she said and waited for her mom to answer, settling back in her seat for the trip back to Stars Hollow.

"Okay," he said, turned left and drove through the streets of Hartford, backtracking his way out to the main road. As they got further away from the mansion he began to relax in his seat, listening to Rory's end of the conversation.

"Hi, mom," she started, still holding back giggles. "Uhm…I thought you might want to know that we're on our way back to Stars Hollow." She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and smiled brightly as she listened to Lorelai's answer.

* * *

Forty minutes later they stumbled into the diner laughing, or in Jess' case with an amused smirk, from Lorelai's first teaser of Emily's reaction. They grabbed a doughnut each and bounded up the stairs. Once inside the apartment they discarded shoes and coats and fell down side by side on the bed.

"I told you we shouldn't have gone to the party," he said, trying to sound accusing, but her laughing was too distracting for it to have the desired effect.

"Aw, come on. Admit it, there were some good parts," she laughed back, grimacing when her stomach started to cramp from all the laughing she had done in the last hour.

"Never," he stated, making a serious effort to calm himself down. He then turned on his side, propped himself up on an elbow and looked down on her.

"What?" she asked, sobering up completely when she noticed the serious look in his eyes.

"Nothing…just thinking," he said, falling down on the bed again.

"Hey, Jess?" she said, not sure if she was making it a question or not.

"Yeah?" he asked, turning his head a little towards her. "What?" he wondered when she stayed quiet, staring at the ceiling.

"Um…you remember the first time you came to that house?" she asked a little uncertainly, still not looking at him.

"Trying not to," he muttered, mimicking her position on the bed, averting his eyes from her.

"That night was a complete disaster," she said with a grimace.

He closed his eyes, knowing full well where this was going and not liking it at all. "Uh huh," he mumbled, not seeing any way out of it, but not wanting to give in none the less.

"What really happened to your eye then?" she asked, turning to look at him for the first time. "And don't tell me it was a football, 'cause I know it wasn't."

And there it was. "Rory, please don't…" he began, shutting his eyes tighter, but she wouldn't hear his protests.

"No, I want to know," she said, looking at him sternly.

"Can't you just let it go?" he asked, starting to feel more and more uncomfortable. "It's not that important, is it?"

"It is," she insisted. "You promised you'd tell me everything and this is doing that."

"You won't let this go, will you?" he asked, opening his eyes and meeting her gaze.

"No," she said simply, shaking her head.

"Okay then…it was…" he began slowly, but shook his head. "No, first you have to promise not to laugh. And this time I really mean it," he said firmly.

"Okay," she agreed immediately, starting to feel giddy again. "I promise," she said when she saw his stern look and tried to calm down again.

He looked at her for a couple seconds, trying to determine if she was serious or not, but ultimately decided that it didn't matter. It was way too late now anyway. "It was a swan," he mumbled finally, still keeping eye contact.

"I'm sorry?" she said baffled and widened her eyes a little. "Did you just say it was a swan?" she stuttered and then her mouth turned into a big smile. She smacked a hand over her mouth, but she couldn't suppress the giggles that rose in her throat.

He sighed and fell back down on his back on the bed, covering his face with both hands. It would have been too much to ask not to have her laugh at him for this, which was why he didn't want to tell her in the first place. "Yes," he confirmed and groaned when he heard her giggles intensify.

And then she couldn't even pretend to hold back anymore and burst out laughing again, eyes almost tearing. He observed her for a while with an almost remorseful expression on his face, but then he took a deep breath and smiled a little.

He once again propped himself up on his elbow and leaned over her, his mouth close to her ear. "You promised not to laugh," he whispered and moved his other hand to her waist. "Now you know, there has to be some sort of punishment for breaking that promise," he continued, still whispering, and slowly traced his fingers over her lower ribs, just hard enough to get a reaction from her. If she wanted to laugh, he knew how to make her laugh.

* * *

Ten minutes later she lay pinned down and panting on the bed, exhausted and with cramping muscles in cheeks and stomach. And he was grinning down on her, having gotten his revenge and more than that. "You done laughing yet?" he asked when her breathing had slowed down a little, adapting a serious expression and raising an eyebrow at her. She only nodded in response, too tired to muster up an answer.

After releasing her hands from his grip above her head he reached out his hand to gently stroke stray strands of hair out of her face. With his fingers lingering on her cheek he bent down and kissed her forehead softly. "Remember before you went home that night? When you told me to keep thinking what I was thinking?" he asked, moving down till his mouth was leveled with hers.

"Yes," she whispered, locking eyes with him and when she noticed their intense expression almost holding her breath in anticipation.

He kissed her softly once and then moved off of her to lay beside her, leaning on one hand, the other gently caressing her cheek. Slowly he leaned in again and captured her mouth in a lingering kiss and she closed her eyes.

She shivered under his touch when his hand traveled down her body, following her collarbone, tracing the path between her breasts and down to her right hip, continuing further to her knee, just above the hem of her dress. There it paused for a few seconds before turning back up, this time taking the path beneath the material of her dress, sending sparkles all through her body.

She hungrily kissed him back, angled her body and reached out to pull the jacket off of him, groaning in protest when his hand stopped its exploration of her body so he could take it off.

He smirked at her impatience and sat up, pulling her with him and off the bed, standing her on the floor in front of him where he sat on the edge of the bed. Smiling up at her he just held her in place for a while, his hands rubbing circles on her hips, before slowly starting to pull the fabric of the dress upwards and finally pulling it over her head, discarding it on the floor.

"Damn, you're beautiful," he breathed out before pulling her close and tracing soft kisses over her stomach while reaching out a hand for the clasp on her bra.

* * *

Later that night she was lying comfortably in his arms, tracing patterns on his back with the tips of her fingers. "Was that really what you were thinking then?" she asked against the skin of his neck.

He shivered from her breath and tightened his hold of her. "Well, I might have elaborated some parts of it," he whispered, nibbling at her ear. "But basically…yes."

"Oh," she let out, stopping the exploration of his back and used her hand to hold herself up, looking down at him from above.

"Hey, don't sound so surprised," he said, half jokingly. "I'm a guy, I was eighteen and I had a beautiful girlfriend. What did you expect?" He smirked a little at the light blush that colored her cheeks. "That does not mean I had any plans on making it real any time soon, you know."

"That was not the kind of 'oh' I meant," she said, still blushing. "I was just thinking about that night and my admission to mom that I was thinking about it. She didn't freak out as much as I thought she would."

"Wait, you told your mom?" This time it was his turn to switch positions, almost sitting up in the bed. "You told your mom that you were thinking about sex? With me?"

"Well, yes," she said, the blush on her cheeks deepening, and cast down her eyes.

"Huh!" He fell back down on the bed again and looked up at her. "You were?"

"What? Is that so hard to believe?" she asked.

"No, it's just…" he began, but was cut off.

"You know, I was eighteen too and apart from the whole thing with being a guy I was just like you," she proclaimed, only to realize what she had just said a second later.

"What? You had a beautiful girlfriend too?" he asked, smirking at her. "Did Lorelai know about that?"

She stared at him for a second, before flinging her hands up in the air. "God, you're so…"

"Handsome?" he cut her off, his smirk now more a grin where he was lying on his back on the bed, looking up at her.

She just continued to stare at him for a couple seconds, but then she smiled back. "Yes," she said simply, her eyes sparkling.

He stared up at her for a moment, then reached up a hand, pulled her down to him and kissed her. He wrapped his arm around her, holding her close and he could feel her arms sneak around him as she reciprocated both the kiss and the embrace.

"I love you," she murmured against his mouth before closing her eyes and giving in to the kiss.

* * *

In the morning she woke up early, despite the late night, and smiled when she remembered it was Christmas Eve. She lay still for a few moments, just listening to him breathing steadily beside her, trying to determine if he was still asleep or not. When he didn't stir for almost a minute she decided that he was not yet awake and settled back in, trying to go back to sleep.

It took five minutes for her to give up her attempts and decide that he should not get to sleep when she was this awake. After nudging him a couple of times he finally groaned and cracked one eye open, glaring at her sleepily.

"Hi," she beamed, nudging him again, just for good measure.

"Hmm…" he groaned, closing his eye again and buried his head deeper in the pillow, determined to go back to sleep.

"Hey, none of that, Mister!" she exclaimed, nudging him harder. "Christmas is starting and it should not be wasted!"

He reached out an arm and grabbed a hold of her, pulling her down completely on the bed beside him again. "Go back to sleep," he mumbled, turning a little, and buried his head in the crook of her neck.

She smiled and lay still for a few more moments, but it didn't take long before she started feeling restless again. She wiggled under his arm and turned towards him, smiling as she was met by his eyes glaring at her. "Please wake up," she said sweetly.

He closed his eyes tightly and groaned before tugging her closer again and planting a kiss on her collar bone. "The sun isn't even up yet," he mumbled and kissed his way up to her ear.

"But it will be before we've showered and eaten breakfast," she said, trying to stay focused on getting up.

"Fine," he said and got up, heading over to the bathroom.

Still on the bed she stared after him for a second before snapping back to reality. "Hey, you can't just leave!" she exclaimed, suddenly seeing the hitch in her plan.

He stopped right before the bathroom and turned around, smirking at her. "Didn't you want me to get up just now?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her and leaned back against the door frame.

"Well, I did, but…" she started, sitting up on the bed, torn between following right away and admiring her view.

"You coming or what?" he asked, cutting her off and smirked at her before opening the door and disappearing into the bathroom. She just smiled and followed.

* * *

They came down the stairs later that morning, both with wet hair and smiling. As they emerged from behind the curtain they found themselves face to face with Luke. He stared at them for a second, shifting his gaze from one to the other, and then promptly turned around and walked into the kitchen. They looked at each other and their smiles grew wider.

"Poor Luke," she said as she sat down on a stool at the counter, watching as Jess poured her a cup of coffee.

"Nah, he'll survive," he said, setting the cup down in front of her. "And it's pretty entertaining."

"So, then I guess you wouldn't mind torturing him some more by asking for breakfast?" she asked, smiling hopefully at him. "Can you order me blueberry pancakes?" she added when he shook his head, glancing in the direction of the kitchen.

"Hey, Luke," he said, grinned at her and walked over to the kitchen. "Rory would like some blueberry pancakes for breakfast," he continued, disappearing into the kitchen.

Still grinning to herself she sat at the counter, sipping her coffee and listened to the muffled voices coming from the kitchen. Neither Jess nor Luke had still come out when the bell above the door rang and cold air blew through the diner.

"Coffee!" she heard her mother's voice yell from behind her and turned around, grinning even more.

"You're up early," Rory observed.

"Well, Christmas should not be wasted," Lorelai stated with a smile and sat down next to her daughter, her eyes searching for someone to give her coffee.

"Exactly what I said when I tried to get Jess to get up this morning," Rory said, grinning at the memory.

"Well, you are my daughter," Lorelai said a little absentmindedly, still looking around the diner. "Where are they?" she asked when no one appeared.

"Luke is making breakfast and probably hiding from me, and Jess is back there almost certainly making Luke even more uncomfortable," Rory said, smiling sheepishly at her mother and taking another sip of her coffee.

Looking at her daughter more closely, Lorelai noticed her wet hair and the slight blush on her cheeks and raised an eyebrow at her. "Shower, huh?" she asked, trying to decide whether she should be disturbed or defy Luke's rule not to go behind the counter and go help Jess.

"Uhm…well…" Rory stuttered, her cheeks turning red, and hid her face behind the coffee mug again.

"Just don't give me any details," Lorelai said with a small laugh and smiled brightly when she saw Jess emerge from the kitchen, two plates in hand. "Coffee!" she demanded and grinned deviously at him.

"Okay," he said slowly, surveying her to try to figure out what she was up to and set down the plates before filling up a coffee mug for her. "There you go," he said, setting it down in front of her, feeling a little disturbed at the huge grin still plastered on her face.

"Thank you," she said, grin still in place and grabbed the cup, almost pouting when she had to drop the grin to be able to drink the coffee.

Frowning Jess leaned over the counter in front of Rory, eyeing Lorelai the whole time. "What's up with her?" he asked his girlfriend, whispering.

"Showers," Rory mumbled, gesturing to her hair and trying to stifle the blush that threatened to creep up her cheeks again.

"Ah," he said smirking. "Luke refuses to come out of the kitchen as long as you're at the counter. You think we should do your mother a favor and move to a table?" he asked, still very close to her and his voice barely above a whisper.

"Sounds like a good idea," she said, smiling at him and eyeing her mother out of the corner of her eye. She gave him a quick kiss and grabbed her plate from the counter. "We're going over there," she said to Lorelai, motioning to a table and stood up.

* * *

When they walked past the counter after finishing their breakfast Luke had been out of the kitchen for a while, but he still didn't meet Rory's eyes. "We'll be out for a while," Rory told Lorelai on her way, at the same time giving Jess a warning look not to say anything. "We'll be at the Inn to help out later."

Once outside the diner she grabbed his hand and dragged him with her down the street, ignoring his questions as to where they were going. She just turned her head once and smiled sweetly at him and continued walking. Finally he gave up trying to find out what she was up to and just followed, smiling at her enthusiasm that made her almost bounce along the street.

It didn't take long however to realize they were going to the Gilmore house. The town was after all not that big and there were only so many places you could go in every direction. Sure enough, they entered the driveway outside the house and she finally stopped. Then she stood still, surveying the snow covered lawn in front of the house as if looking for something.

"Uhm…what are you looking for?" he asked, confused by her behavior. She had hurried here and now she was just standing there, a frown on her face and looking like she evaluated something in her head.

"I'm planning where to put it," she said absentmindedly, still looking around her.

"Put what where?" he asked, becoming more and more bewildered as he watched her.

Instead of answering she pulled him by the hand, backtracking their steps till they reached the edge of the Gilmore property. There she bent down and collected a big pile of snow. "I knew it! It's just the right temperature," she said excitedly, forming the snow into a ball.

"For what?" he asked, still not quite sure what she was planning. He watched her warily from where she had let him go, trying to see if there were any signs that the snowball could come flying at him.

Straightening out again she looked at him with a smile. "The snowman of course," she beamed at him. "You did say you wanted me to teach you how to make one," she reminded him, grabbing a hold of his hand again and dragged him with her the few steps to her snowball.

"Uhm…" he mumbled, trying to think of something to say, but was cut off by her lips on his before he could form any real words. He relaxed, held her close and kissed her back, closing his eyes. "You remembered that, huh?" he asked when they let go, opening his eyes again and meeting her gaze.

"Of course I did," she smiled at him, giving him one more quick kiss. "Now, come on and help me with this ball."

* * *

Two hours later they were standing side by side in front of a sad looking snowman. It wasn't that much that it was badly done, or the fact that it was crooked in some way neither of them really could figure out. It wasn't even the slightly tilted stone mouth or the drooping hat Rory had taken from Jess' Halloween costume. Maybe it was all of the above that together gave the snowman its sorrowful appearance.

Neither of them really cared though. They were both wet from top to toe and stood panting, not so much watching the snowman as trying to catch their breath. The building process had been somewhat sporadic in the last hour, more often than not interrupted by one of them throwing a snowball at the other, inevitably starting another snowball fight.

And it had not been for long moments that both of them had remained standing. Instead they had somehow managed to end up in one or other snow pile, trying not to get too much snow inside their clothes as they both shoveled as large amounts as they could manage at the other.

And there had been a lot of laughing, caused by missed snowballs, successful tackling and a lot of tickling. And the result was that they were now both standing out of breath and staring at a miserable looking snowman.

"He looks kind of sad, don't you think?" she said, eyeing the snowman, when she was finally able to talk again.

"Well, at least the hat suits him," he replied, studying the figure in front of him, trying to decide if he should let it remain standing or not.

"That it does," she agreed, cocking her head to the side and studying their creation a little closer. "What do you think we should call him?" she asked, turning her eyes away from the snowman and eyed him questioningly.

He studied the snowman for a while longer, trying to come up with something it reminded him of. "Eeyore, maybe?" he finally said, frowning at the pathetic figure.

"Eeyore?" she said in disbelief. "That's the first thing you thought of?" She turned to him with raised eyebrows and a smile playing at her lips.

"What?" he asked defensively, digging his hands into the pockets of his coat. It was a long time ago since his jeans had become too wet for that.

"No, nothing," she said, trying not to laugh. "It doesn't look that much like a donkey to me though," she added, starting to giggle.

"They look about as depressed both of them," he said, glaring at her out of the corner of his eye.

She stood giggling and observing the snowman for a few moments before turning back to him again. "I just can't picture you reading about a bunch of stuffed animals," she said, trying to stifle her giggles, but not succeeding very well.

"I was a kid once too, you know," he said, turning back to the snowman. "And I do have a pretty good memory." He glanced at her one more time before he stalked off towards the porch and sat down on the steps, huddling up against the cold that crept on him now that he wasn't moving anymore.

She saw him walk off and stopped giggling immediately, watching him walk the few steps up to the porch before following. "I'm sorry," she said and sat down beside him. "I didn't mean to laugh, I just wasn't prepared for Eeyore. At all."

He didn't say anything for a while, just wrapped his arm around her shoulders and leaned his head against hers. "Could we do something else now, like get out of these clothes and try to get warm?" he asked finally, feeling the cold creep deeper. "I would like to feel my toes again."

"Yes, please," she said, teeth clattering against the cold. She quickly stood up, dragging him with her and took the few steps to the front door.

"Uhm…I don't think I have any clothes here," he said, holding her back from entering the house. "And I rather not wear any of yours," he added quickly, not wanting her to suggest it.

"Come on," she stuttered, pulling on his hand again. "There's a bath tub upstairs that's sounding very compelling at the moment. And we can put the clothes in the dryer. But if you don't come now I might freeze to death, and then it'd be all your fault."

He didn't protest when she walked into the house and soon they were wrapped in a blanket each, loading their clothes in the dryer. When the machine was set she went upstairs to fill the bath tub, while he stayed in the kitchen making coffee as well as he could with shaking hands and trying to hold the blanket together around him.

* * *

Later that afternoon, after an interesting experience with fitting in a bathtub while both tried to submerge under the water, they were warm again. They were sitting opposite each other at the kitchen table, eating leftover Chinese food and drinking coffee.

"I had fun today," he said suddenly, startling her out of her thoughts over which food container to grab next.

She looked up at him and smiled brightly. "Told you so," she said teasingly and pointed her fork at him.

"Feeling good now, huh?" he asked, setting his own food container down on the table.

"Of course," she said, her smile brightening even more. "I love being right."

He only shook his head at her and picked up his food again, taking a bite, smiling at her satisfied look.

After a while she laughed a little and grabbed a random food container off the table, starting to eat again. "How long do you think Eeyore will be standing out there?" she asked between bites, eyeing him carefully.

"Depends on how long you keep me entertained," he said, smirking at her. "There isn't that much to do in this town, so I might get bored."

"Well…" she said, getting up from the chair and walking around the table to him. "You can start by going to the Dragonfly with me so I can watch you be all strong and powerful while moving tables."

"You think so, huh?" he asked, looking up at her and taking her hand, pulling her down on his lap. "Wasn't the point to keep me entertained, not you?"

"I think I can find something to entertain you with in the room I asked mom for yesterday," she whispered in his ear, nibbling at it a little and smiled when he groaned.

"I think I like the sound of that," he said, and closed his eyes when she continued to his neck, alternatively licking and biting her way.

"I bet you do," she mumbled against his skin. She could feel his heartbeat speed up and felt his elevated breathing against her skin and smiled when she felt his hands tighten around her. "Well then, why don't we go find out?" she said teasingly and pulled back, smiling brightly when he protested.

"Evil woman," he muttered when she rose from his lap and started putting away the rest of the food and the dishes.

She just smiled at him until she was done when she took his hand and pulled him up from the chair. "Come on now, and no pouting," she smiled and went into her room to get an already packed bag and then pulled him with her to the foyer.

"That room better be really good," he said when he followed her out the door after putting his coat on and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

They took a detour around the diner on their way. He went upstairs to get some things while she sat at the counter sipping another cup of coffee. She stared a little at him when he came down the stair again, a bag slung over his shoulder and in the process of stuffing a book in his back pocket.

"You do know mom has a pretty good book selection at the Inn, right?" she asked, raising her eyebrows a little at him.

He finished putting the book away and grabbed a doughnut on his way up to her, taking a bite before nodding at her.

"So, you do know you don't actually have to bring your own…?" she tried.

"Somehow I doubt she'd like it very much to find my writing in them though," he said with a smirk and swallowed down the last bit of his doughnut. "And don't tell me there isn't a single book in that bag of yours," he added, holding the door open for her, eyeing her knowingly when she passed by him on her way out.

She walked out the door and held out her hand to him, smiling sheepishly. "So, what did you bring?" she asked, avoiding his question. "I didn't get a good look at it."

"Ha, ha. Thought it'd be that easy, huh?" he asked, arching an eyebrow at her and wrapped his arm around her, kissing the top of her head.

"Well, I know what books you've brought here with you, so all I really have to do is guess till I get it right," she said, smiling up at him, at the same time placing her arm around his waist.

"And what if I don't tell you when you guessed right?" he asked, smiling back at her and her concentrated look as she waited for the right moment to begin her next move.

"Well, then I'll just try something else, won't I?" she asked, while slowly sneaking her hand down from his waist, searching for his back pocket. She didn't get far before she found her hand caught in his and him smiling down at her.

"Well, well, Rory. Can't wait to get your hands on me, huh?" he smirked, stopping in the middle of the street and used the arm still around her shoulders to pull her flush against his body. "Now, don't you think you can wait till we get to the Inn?" he asked, holding her tight against him, laughter clearly evident in his voice.

"Hey, that's not…" she began, but cut herself off, blushing. "No fair!" she pouted, trying to free the hand trapped between their bodies to help the one still caught in his hand. "I want to know," she said, leaning her head back, her pout growing and looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Ah, ah, that won't work this time," he shook his head and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. "But I must say you look really cute like that," he whispered in her ear, before releasing her and grabbing her hand, starting to walk down the street again.

Still pouting she caught up to him and walked quietly for a while before turning her head to watch him. He was looking straight ahead, but she could sense he was looking at her through the corner of his eye and she saw the hints of a smile on his lips. "You do know I'll find out sooner or later, right?" she asked, moving a little closer still.

"Oh, I know," he said, turning his head to smile at her. "It's just so much more fun this way. Don't you think?" Then he drew their intertwined hands behind her back and leaned down to kiss her mouth, effectively cutting off whatever answer she might have been about to give.

* * *

The rest of their walk to the Inn was pretty calm, apart from a couple more tries from her to get to know what book it was, although they weren't that serious. And they all ended in them stumbling down the street kissing, which she didn't really see as a failure. Just the opposite in fact.

They eventually arrived, at the moment once again lost in their own little world and didn't see the Inn at first. When they entangled themselves they both stopped dead in their tracks, staring at the building, or rather what still could be seen of it. Even Rory was surprised by the sheer amount of decorations adorning it, almost covering every possible surface.

"Are you sure we're at the right place?" he asked her after getting over the first shock.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," she answered, still staring at what only two days earlier had been a perfectly normal house, decorated for Christmas. What now greeted them looked like a gigantic, overcrowded Christmas tree.

"Do you think it's safe to go in?" he asked. "Maybe we should just turn back before something comes out and eats us, or insists on transforming us into little gnomes?"

"I think it's too late," she answered, noticing what definitely was her mother running out from under the decorations and, frenetically waving, beckoning them to come in.

"I think it's leaning towards the latter alternative," he mumbled, taking in the clothing of the woman in front of them and the enormous grin on her face. Leaning down he whispered in his girlfriend's ear, "She better not try to get me into anything bearing even the slightest resemblance to that."

"Yeah, I actually think I agree with you on that one," she said, smiling at her mother. "I don't think the pink would go very well with your eyes," she grinned and tightened her grip on his hand, pulling on it to make him come with her. "I'll protect you, I promise," she said, giving him a big smile.

"Why does that not exactly give me any comfort?" he asked, gripping her hand tighter and grimaced as he noticed the glittering fur lining Lorelai's very personal imitation of a Santa suit.

To his great relief they only had time for a very short greeting before Lorelai, summoned by a frantic kitchen help, hurried away in the direction of the kitchen to see what Sookie had done this time. And when he looked around he saw that the inside of the Inn wasn't as overhung with decorations as the outside. He silently hoped it would remain that way.

They walked past Michel, standing behind his desk with an even sourer look than normal, dressed in a red suit that sparkled in the light when he moved. He looked about to say something to them, but shut his mouth with a huff and turned around, disappearing into the office, when Rory couldn't hold back her snicker at his appearance.

"Now, that wasn't very nice," Jess reprimanded her, a stern look on his face that only made her laugh even more.

"And that should come from you," she laughed, grinning up at him till he couldn't help but smile with her.

"So, what do you say we do whatever we're supposed to do here so we can disappear from all this madness and find that room of yours?" he suggested, locking eyes with her, letting his free hand travel up her body slowly, stopping at the back of her neck and tangling it in her hair.

"Sounds like a good idea," she whispered, shivering from his touch, and closed her eyes, leaning in closer. "We're supposed to move tables I think."

* * *

An hour and a half later she was sitting in a chair against a wall in the dining room, watching him move the last tables and chairs in place for the new table setting. Putting the last chair down, he stretched his back, cracking it and flexing his shoulders a little. Smirking he watched her where she was sitting, following his movements around the room, and slowly walked up to her, leaning down till his mouth was barely touching her skin.

"Now, how much longer will you be ogling me before I can see that room of yours?" he whispered in her ear, making a chill go through her body.

"I think…we're done here," she whispered back, raising her eyes to his, catching her breath when she found them looking back at her with intense longing.

He let his arms wind around her waist, pulling her up from the chair and flush against his body. Still staring into each other's eyes they both leaned in at once, kissing passionately, and pressing against the other. Her hands found their way around his back, one of them finding its way under his shirt while the other tangled itself in the curls at the back of his neck. His hands only strayed to her hips, holding her securely in place, while his tongue invaded her mouth.

Out of breath and with speeding hearts they pulled apart to lean their foreheads together. They smiled at each other and leaned in for another kiss. He was just about to deepen it when Lorelai came bounding in through the door, excitedly talking, obviously not having seen them yet.

"Pre Christmas dinner is serv…" she started, but quickly grew silent when she noticed the pair on the other side of the room. "Oh, you don't care about dinner I see."

Rory quickly detached herself and peeked out from behind Jess' shoulder. "Hi, mom," she said quietly, smiling sheepishly. "Um, we were just…" she started explaining, but couldn't come up with anything other than the truth and stopped, casting down her eyes, blushing.

"Oh, I saw what you were doing," Lorelai told her with an amused grin. "And let me tell you, this was so not how I had imagined finding you both when I walked in here. But, that's not why I'm here. I was going to tell you that there's dinner to get in the kitchen for everyone interested. It's not anything fancy or really planned, since we obviously aren't even nearly done, although I see we at least have somewhere to sit. But anyway, dinner is served, so you can come and get some, if you want. Or you could continue what you were doing, just not here, or anywhere I might run into you again." She stopped, realizing she was starting to ramble. "So, there's dinner if you want, and I'll be leaving now. So, see ya!"

And then she turned around, walking out the same way she came, waving behind her. When they were alone again they turned to look at each other. "Maybe we should go eat," Rory said slowly, not sounding too sure.

"Yeah, maybe," he agreed somewhat sadly. "Your mother does have a pretty good ability for ruining the moment," he added, inhaling deeply and took her hand in his.

"That she does," she agreed nodding. "Sorry about this."

"It's okay. I bet you'll be getting hungry right about now anyway, so…" he smiled at her and squeezed her hand. "Come on; let's go see what Sookie's invented this time."

* * *

Late that night, after eating a lot of delicious food and helping with more of the preparations for next day's big Christmas party, they found themselves alone together for the first time in hours. Everyone who had been working during the day had left and the door closed behind the last person. Lorelai, Sookie and Michel were still around somewhere, but not in sight at the moment.

They were sitting side by side on the stairs, a bit worn out after all the running, carrying and hanging they had been doing in the past hours. "You think it's safe to sneak away now?" he asked, leaning his head on the wall beside him, looking at her.

"God, I hope so," she mumbled, trying to put more energy in it than she felt she had. "I'm so tired," she yawned, scooting closer and leaning against him, closing her eyes and tried to stifle another yawn.

He hugged her to him for a second and then sat her up again, leaning her against the railing of the stair. "I'll go find our things and then we'll get you up and into bed, okay?" he said and waited for her to acknowledge she had heard him. She finally nodded and he stood up, checking so she was still sitting up before he left.

"You never told me what book you brought with you," she complained half asleep when he got back with their bags, hoisted her up from the stairs and walked them both up to their room.

"You still haven't let that go?" he asked, laughing a little as he tried to unlock the door while still holding both her and the bags. Finally he had to put the bags down, but eventually managed to get everything inside the room.

Once inside she fell down on the bed and made a halfhearted attempt to pull the covers over her, making him laugh again. "Sorry I'm so boring," she mumbled, opening an eye to look up at him and reached out a hand to wave him over.

"Don't worry," he said, smiling at her and lay down beside her. "But maybe you should try getting out of your clothes, and even get completely onto the bed?"

"Too tired," she grumbled and turned to her side, tugging on his hand to make him come closer, wrapping his arm around her.

Laughing and shaking his head he freed himself from her hold and sat up. He wrapped her out of the covers and struggled a little getting her out of her clothes before scoping her up and moving her further up in the bed and tucking her in under the covers.

Then he went to lock the door and undressed before getting a small wrapped present from his bag and putting it on the nightstand on her side of the bed. With a kiss on her cheek he assumed his former position, holding her to him with his face buried in her hair.

"Good night, Rory," he whispered and listened to her breathing level out before closing his own eyes, trying to sleep.

* * *

In the morning it was his turn to wake up first, not sure if he had slept at all. He lay still for a while, listening to her breathing. A quick glance at the clock on the nightstand told him it was just before six in the morning and he relaxed again, closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of her hair.

He had barely closed his eyes when he felt her stir beside him as if waking up, six o'clock on the dot. It was almost as if she had been programmed the night before. Opening his eyes again he stared up at her when she sat up, completely awake in less than a second.

"It's Christmas!" she exclaimed, smiling brightly and leaned down to kiss him.

"It's early," he countered when they broke the kiss moments later.

"But it's Christmas!" she argued, shaking her head at his unenthusiastic attitude. "It's supposed to be early so you can experience it as much as possible."

"Is that so?" he asked, reaching up a hand to bring her head down for another kiss, this one a lot more thorough than the last one.

"Most definitely," she breathed when she pulled away for air.

"And what do you think should be first on the list of experiences?" he inquired, pulling her down again and turning them over so she was lying on her back, him leaning on his elbows above her.

"I don't know…" she said leisurely, positioning herself comfortably and smiling up at him thoughtfully. She let her hand travel up his arm to his neck, twirling a curl of his hair between her fingers. "You got any suggestions?"

He only smirked at her, enjoying her act of innocence, and leaned down to capture her mouth with his. It didn't take long for the kiss to get heated, tongues dueling and hands traveling over exposed skin. And soon what little clothes there were got discarded among the others on the floor.

* * *

When her breathing had stilled again she pulled her head up a little from its resting place on his chest to look at him. She smiled at the content expression on his face and leaned down again to plant a kiss on his collar bone.

"That was a wonderful start of the morning," she murmured in his ear before settling down again, listening to his heartbeat that was still a little elevated, matching hers.

"Yeah, it was," he agreed softly and tightened his hold of her, kissing the top of her head. "Merry Christmas, Rory."

"Merry Christmas, Jess," she greeted back, sighing contently and closed her eyes, just to open them right away, staring at the heap of strings and green paper on the nightstand. "What is that?" she questioned, once again pulling herself up from him, eyeing him curiously.

He had his eyes closed, but she could see the corners of his mouth turn up just far enough for her to notice. "What is what?" he asked, opening his eyes and looking at her with well practiced innocence.

"Oh, don't even try!" She exclaimed, trying to glare at him, but failing miserably. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

He looked at her for a couple seconds, but then released his grip on her with one arm and reached over to the nightstand to retrieve the packet. Keeping his eyes on it he took a breath and gave it to her. "It's a Christmas present. I wanted to give it to you without the whole town hanging over my back," he explained, looking up at her with a small smile and an almost nervous expression on his face.

"Oh," she said, taking it in her hand and sitting up to make it easier to unwrap it. "Thank you." She looked away from the present and met his gaze with sparkling eyes.

"You haven't even opened it yet," he said, smiling at her enthusiasm. "Don't expect too much."

She only smiled and started pulling on the strings, taking her time undoing the knots, forcing herself to take it slow and not destroy the paper too early. When she finally got the paper off she found herself holding a small undecorated, wooden box. She looked at him curiously, but he just motioned for her to open it.

She studied the box for a while, trying to figure out how to actually get it open before finding the little nick in it, just enough for a nail to fit and bend it open. It opened with a barely audible click and revealed a neatly placed circle of blue and brown stones on two separate, intertwined strands.

Her eyes quickly searched for his and they locked for a second before he lowered his, looking embarrassed. "You told me the last time you dragged me out shopping that you thought those brown stones reminded you of my eyes, which yes, I thought was way too cheesy at the time. But then I found this and those blue stones are exactly the color of your eyes when you're happy, and…"

And then he was cut off by her mouth on his, effectively stopping any further talking. "Thank you," she mumbled against his lips, smiling into the kiss and reached the box out to him.

She smiled at him when he looked up at her, locking eyes with her for a second before concentrating on the necklace and getting the clasp securely fasted around her neck. "You're welcome," he said when he was done, his hand slowly tracing a path from her neck down her arm.

"A very good start of Christmas so far," she said and lay down again, once more resting her head on his chest. Slowly she trailed her hand over his chest, feeling the movement as he breathed softly.

She smiled when he took her hand in his, entwining their fingers and brought it up to his mouth to give it a soft kiss.


	17. Chapter 16 Acting Crazy

**Not Dreaming**

* * *

**A/N:** So…finally updated. Sorry it took a while, but life has been busy lately. This chapter has been a long time coming; I just had to find a good place to fit it in with the story. And I feel this is a good place. Hope you like.

Thanks for the reviews as always. They make me happy. I'd love some way to contact the anonymous reviewers too, but a huge thank you here will have to do for the moment.

And thank you **Knowhere** for your help and for telling me when I write something completely idiotic. :)

This chapter is for **Selina**, because she has been bugging me about it for a long time now.

* * *

**Chapter 16. Acting Crazy**

* * *

The shrill ringing of her alarm clock pierced through her sleeping mind, shattered her dream and started off the dull ache in her temples again. Groaning she turned, reaching for the annoying thing and in the process noticed that the bed beside her was empty again.

She sighed and finally managed to turn off the beeping. She missed waking up next to him, missed the close contact of their bodies and the feeling of security it gave her. But it had been happening more and more frequent lately. She laid her head down on his pillow and took a deep breath. His smell was still there.

She rolled over to her back, closed her eyes tightly and rubbed her aching temples, wishing she could go back to sleep. But her sensible, dutiful side took over once again and with a heavy sigh she flung the covers to the bottom of the bed and hauled herself up to a standing position.

She stretched and went over to her wardrobe, gathering some clothes and with a big yawn went on her way to take a shower.

As soon as she opened the door to the common room the sweet smell of coffee reached her, making her head shoot up, and she forgot all about her shower. She quickly searched for the source of the smell and found Jess sitting on the couch, coffee cup in hand, seemingly completely engrossed in a stack of papers in front of him.

"Hi," she said, trying to catch his attention and changed her direction to him instead of the bathroom.

"Oh, hey," he said, quickly looking up from his papers, smiling briefly at her. "There's coffee for you by the door."

"Ok," she said, her eyes quickly finding the cup, and went over to get it. "Thanks."

"Sure," he said, waving it off and stood up. "I've got to go, just wanted to make sure you got up." He downed his coffee and quickly put his papers down in his bag.

"Oh, ok," she said, frowning slightly over her coffee, feeling disappointed that he was leaving.

"Yeah, I have to be in New York by nine and traffic in the city sucks in the morning," he said with a shrug and shouldered the bag.

"Right, New York," she said, grimacing inwardly at the fact that she had completely forgotten about that. "But you'll be back tonight, right?" she asked hopefully, watching him searching through his bag for something.

"Depends on how long it takes," he said, walking up to her and shrugged a little. He kissed her on the cheek and squeezed her hand lightly, giving her a small smile. "I'll call when I know."

"Ok," she nodded, kissed him lightly and watched as he exited the dorm room and walked down the hallway, finally disappearing out the main doors.

With a sigh she closed the door and looked sadly at the coffee cup in her hand before finishing in record time. It was still hot and she felt a little better after drinking it, at least she felt more awake.

She took a long shower, letting the water wash away the ache in her head and felt refreshed when she was done. After a short walk to the cafeteria to get breakfast she went to the news room, starting her day with looking through the three drafts left on her desk. After lunch she went back to her dorm and sat down at her desk to study, starting up where she had left off the night before.

* * *

It was late when he came back that night and he felt exhausted. The weather was uncharacteristically warm for the end of May and he had been painfully aware that the air conditioning in his car had broken down the week before. Not only had it been hot, but the hours spent in traffic to and from New York had not exactly helped to brighten his mood. Not to mentioned that he hadn't eaten in almost twelve hours.

He opened the door and almost instantly dropped his bag to the floor. Stumbling over to the couch he fell down on it, landing in a really uncomfortable angle. He didn't bother moving though, thinking that he didn't have the energy to do so at the moment.

"You tired?" he heard Rory ask from the doorway to their room. He saw her leaning on the doorframe, studying him with a slight frown on her face. He nodded briefly at her trying to stifle a yawn.

She mimicked his yawn, stretching in the doorway and walked up to the couch, flopping down beside him. "I feel like I could sleep for a week," she said, yawning again and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"You done studying?" he asked, changing position till he sat a little more comfortable.

"I just took a break and I heard you come in," she said, taking a deep breath.

"Breaks are good," he mumbled, closing his eyes for a second. Then his stomach grumbled and he groaned.

"Hungry?" she asked, sitting up with an effort.

"Starved," he admitted. "I haven't eaten since lunch and that was around noon."

"Well, you've got perfect timing. I was just gonna order pizza when you got here." She smiled at him and reached out for the cordless phone on the table. "You want the usual?" she asked as she dialed.

He gave her a nod and closed his eyes again, leaning his head back against the couch. "Sounds good," he agreed and relaxed, listening to her ordering.

"Yeah, hey Nick," she greeted, laughing a little at the answer on the other end. "Yeah, it's me again." She laughed a little more and asked for a double of their usual order, with extra topping.

"We order there too much," he remarked when she put the phone down.

"They do have the best pizza in close proximity to us," she said automatically, followed by another laugh. "God, I'm so tired," she groaned and fell back down against the couch.

"Mhm…" he mumbled in agreement, then opened his eyes suddenly, looking at her with a frown. "Hey, didn't Nick quit a while ago?" he asked, clearly recalling Rory's confusion from a couple weeks ago when someone else answered the phone.

"He did," she agreed, frowning a little. "I didn't even think twice about him answering… Wonder when he started again," she reflected thoughtfully.

"You know, I ran into him a couple days ago," he said thoughtfully after a while. "He didn't say anything about it then. But then again, he and Leo looked to be pretty together again, so it might have slipped his mind."

"Oh, they made up?" she asked, looking up at him. "I told you they would," she added with a big grin.

"Do you ever think it's sad that we know so much about the personal life of the pizza guy?" he asked.

"It's our pizza guy, why shouldn't we look after him?" she asked, giving him a puzzled look, shaking her head.

"Never mind," he mumbled, chuckling a little at her and kissed her on the temple. She smiled up at him a little and they both grew quiet. "Pizza's here," he said about fifteen minutes later as answer to the knock on the door.

They ate in silence, both too occupied with their food to have time for conversation. It didn't take long until there were just crumbs left, but by then they were both feeling a lot less hungry. He let out a big yawn and fell back against the couch again, the past day catching up with him full force.

"I'm gonna go sleep," he declared tiredly, but didn't make any move to get up. "In a sec."

She smiled at him and stood up, reaching out her hand. "Come on, get up," she said, waving the hand in front of his face to get his attention.

He smiled tiredly up at her and with the help of her hand managed to drag himself out of the very comfortable couch. He didn't bother brushing his teeth, just removed his shoes, jeans and shirt and laid down on the bed, feeling like he would go to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you were tired," she remarked, smiling at him where he lay dangerously close to the edge of the bed.

"Be nice," he grumbled, not moving an inch. "You going to bed?"

"Soon," she said, sighing a little. "I just have to finish the last couple of pages."

He sighed, not expecting any other answer and too tired to really feel the disappointment. He was soon asleep and she was once again sitting by her desk, reading the same text she had been studying for the past week.

* * *

When the alarm clock beeped the next morning she wasn't alone in the bed again. She had an arm draped over her stomach and her head was nestled comfortably by his shoulder. She smiled a little and snuggled closer for a few moments before sighing and removing his arm, reluctantly getting up from the bed.

He grumbled when he felt her move and tried to grab her, but missed. "Don't get up," he mumbled reaching out for her, peering up at her with half closed eyes.

"I have to. I have to be at the paper early this morning to get everything done in time," she apologized, suppressing a yawn.

"Fine," he grumbled, stretching and got out of the bed too, rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out. "I need to work too anyway."

Half an hour later they were both showered and he had been to get them each two cups of coffee and doughnuts. They both hastily ate the improvised breakfast in silence, each of them thinking of the different things they had to do during the day.

They were both just about to go out of the dorm, heading for their separate destinations when the door to the other bedroom suddenly opened, revealing a very sleepy Susan. She rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times, staring at them as if she thought she was dreaming.

"Wow, I think this is the first time I've seen you both in a week," she said finally. She shook her head as she headed for the bathroom. "You're both acting crazy, you know that right?" she asked and opened the door, disappearing once again.

"Huh, I think she's right," he mumbled, thinking back, trying to remember the last time he saw her. If he wasn't completely mistaken it was last Tuesday.

"Really?" Rory asked surprised, but soon shook it off as she remembered she had to get going. "You gonna be around for lunch today?" she asked as they exited the dorm room together, locking the door behind them.

"Yeah, sure," he said and grabbed her hand when they started walking towards the newsroom. "I'll come by around noon, ok?"

"Sounds good," she agreed and then they walked the rest of the way in silence.

They kissed briefly before she disappeared into the building and he turned around, walking over to the nearest library, intending to try to finish the latest chapter off his book and send it before lunch. He had been working on it a long time now and finally felt confident enough to send it in. Now he just had to do the last checkups to make sure there weren't any misprints.

* * *

He just reached the building when she exited through the main doors and they almost collided, but managed to avoid it, both laughing a little. He kissed her and took her hand in his, entwining their fingers, and steered them towards the cafeteria.

"I can't stay long," she said apologetically when they started walking. "There's this article I need to get done that should have been done yesterday and I just remembered it a couple minutes ago," she explained, squeezing his hand a little.

"Oh, ok," he said with an almost unnoticeable sigh. "It's ok, I need to do some more changes than I thought, so I've got plenty to do too."

She nodded and released his hand as they reached the cafeteria, opening the door and entering the crowded room, scanning it for any empty seats. "I'll go get seats if you order," she said, nodding towards a table not far away. "Ok?"

"Sure," he agreed, making his way over to the line to the checkout, sighing a little and checking his watch.

When he had finally gotten their food he found her sitting with a notebook in front of her, writing furiously and obviously not noticing him approaching.

"Hey," he said in her ear, setting the food down in front of her.

She jumped, a small scream escaping from her lips, and took a deep breath to compose herself before glaring up at him. "Don't ever do that again," she warned, eyeing him seriously.

He only smirked and sat down beside her, grabbing his soda and opened it. He took a sip of it, all the time watching her and finally shook his head a little. "Come on," he said, nudging her with his elbow, "surprises are good for you."

She stared at him a few more seconds before demonstratively digging into her food, seemingly ignoring him. They ate in silence for a while, until she couldn't take it any more and looked up at him. She was met by his eyes looking straight at her and she couldn't help but smile.

They left the cafeteria not long after, once again entering the warm spring air, walking hand in hand towards the library. She stopped suddenly, remembering what she had been thinking of asking him since they met outside the paper, and turned to him, peering up at him questioningly.

"You said you'd come with me to dinner with my dad when he comes down here, right?" she asked.

"If you mean, did you con me into it, then yes," he said with a smirk and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Ha, ha, think you're funny, do you?" she asked, glaring playfully at him, but snuggled in closer under his arm, deciding to make the best of the time they had.

"Nope, just stating a fact." He shook his head and rubbed her arm a little, enjoying having her close again.

"And just how do you say I _conned_ you into this?" she asked playfully, eyes gleaming up at him.

"Hmm…" he said and leaned in to kiss her. "I think it had something to do with this."

"I knew it!" she exclaimed and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him again. "You just can't resist me," she said when she pulled back again, smiling brightly at him, reveling in how completely normal everything felt for once.

He only shook his head and smirked at her, steering them on the right way again. There was no point in arguing with her about it, so he didn't even try any more. He knew she was right anyway, and it wasn't like he tried hard at hiding it from her.

"So, you're coming then?" she asked when they had been walking in silence for a while.

"Sure," he agreed. "I've lived through insufferable dinners with your grandmother and her friends, so I think I can handle your father."

"Of course you can," she said, ignoring the comment about her grandmother for the moment. "So, do you have to go home before the weekend or are you staying?" she asked, turning her head to look up at him again.

"Uh, neither," he said, slowing down to look at her more closely. "I'm staying the week and going home on Friday. You know that."

"But dad is coming on Friday. You can't go home then," she said, frowning at him, already missing the content feeling from a couple seconds ago.

"Well, I can't be at two places at the same time, now can I?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at her and dropping his arm from her shoulders, stopping completely.

"But I told him we'd come," she protested, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly. "As in both of us. I can't just show up by myself and you said you'd come."

"Well, I can't this weekend. You know I can't. I told you two weeks ago I have to be in Philly," he said, giving her a pointed look. "Maybe you should have told me what day he's coming when you asked."

"But can't you just be here for this weekend?" she asked, hopefully. "Please, you can go home right after, I promise," she pleaded, ignoring the whine in her voice.

"Just for this weekend?" he asked a bit astonished. "This is the first weekend I'm going back there in almost two months and you call it just this weekend?"

"Well, this dinner is important to me," she said with a pout. "Can't you just go back after the dinner?"

"No, I can't," he said firmly.

"Why not?" she asked, trying to remember what he was supposed to be doing this weekend and not coming up with anything.

"I promised the others I'd set everything up for Saturday since I'm away so much, which by the way is because of you." He was getting more and more annoyed by the minute now.

"So now it's my fault?" she asked with a frown, her voice rising.

"I didn't say that," he said, matching her frown with a scowl of his own. "But I though you could at least understand that I have to go home sometimes."

"For what?" she asked, getting worked up.

"For that client and press dinner thing we're having," he said, getting even more irritated by the fact that she obviously had no clue what he was talking about.

"Oh God, I completely forgot!" she exclaimed.

"I even asked you if you wanted to come, but you said you had to study," he added, almost as if he hadn't heard her. "But you obviously aren't too occupied to go to dinner with your father."

"I'm sorry, ok," she said defensively. "I've had so much going on these past weeks that I've barely been able to keep track of my own thoughts."

"Yeah, I've noticed," he said, still agitated. "I just thought you'd at least once want to go to something with me, and not always the other way around."

"I did want to go!" she exclaimed. "But I have finals next week, and I need to study for that. I've told you how hard some of there classes are, you should know that."

"I do know that!" he yelled. "I can't avoid knowing, 'cause you tell me every day. And still you have time to go to dinner with your father, but not to for once go home with me."

"I told you I had to study, which I did," she defended, getting worked up again. "But I've gotten a lot more done in these last weeks than I thought I would, so Dad asked if I had some spare time. And I haven't seen him in over a year, so I said yes." She almost ended her tirade in a scream, but contained her voice when she remembered where she was.

"So you double booked a dinner without even checking if I could go. That's nice," he scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I had completely forgotten about that dinner or I would have gone with you," she yelled, no longer caring who heard. "And since when are you against me studying? I though you were the one who wouldn't let me drop out of school."

"Of course I want you to study!" he almost yelled back, his frustration growing by the minute. "I've never stopped you from studying. But my work is important for me too and I don't feel like you understand that anymore. Lately it's always about your classes, what you have to study or your next assignment for the paper. And I get that those are important things to you and they are to me too. But I'd like you to at least pretend to show some interest in what I'm doing once in a while. And at the moment it feels like you couldn't care less. You couldn't even remember the most important thing we're doing so far in the whole time I've worked there!" He stopped, staring at her, out of breath.

"I do care! It's just hard to show it when you're never here!" she yelled back, offended by his accusation.

"I'm never here?" he asked incredulous. "What do you call the past months if I may ask? I haven't been home since March! I've spent every single damned night here for the past eight weeks. And you say I'm never here?"

"Well, it doesn't feel like it!" she yelled back, staring at him defiantly.

"It's not my goddamn fault you are always at the paper and never go to bed before midnight." By now he had started to let his frustration take over and was emphasizing his words with angry gestures.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she replied sarcastically. "Excuse me for trying to run the paper. Excuse me for wanting to do well on my finals that are in less than a week!" she yelled, her voice rising dramatically on the last words. "And you're not one to say anything. You spend half the time away from here and when you are here you're up before the sun and off somewhere on campus before I can even say good morning." She paused for a second, catching her breath, but didn't let him say anything before finishing. "No, you're never really here." She finished and shook her head.

"That's not fair," he argued. "I'm not gone that much and when I am it's for my book. You remember that, right? The book you couldn't wait to read every single draft off! How long has it been since you asked to see any of it now? A week, two weeks? Longer? Don't accuse me of not being around when I'm doing something you've always wanted me to do!"

"But it's ok for you to accuse me of ignoring you for school? Isn't that just the same thing? Huh? Isn't it?"

"Fine, I'm horrible and you're right again," he said, lowering his voice again and staring straight in her eyes. "Doesn't change the fact that I can't come on Friday. You'll just have to tell your father I'll see him some other time."

"So that's it? You won't come and will leave me to tell my father that you won't meet him?" she yelled, feeling herself growing desperate. This was not what she wanted, but she couldn't seem to stop yelling, no matter how irrational her reasoning became.

"Well, it's not my fault you didn't check with me, now is it?" he asks, voice low, but the anger was still obvious in his tone.

"Oh, don't give me that," she sneered, glaring at him, trying to take back some control.

"Give you what?" he asked, stunned for a second by her tone. "The truth?"

"Some lame ass excuse to dump everything on me!"

"So what? I tell you how it is and somehow it's my fault that the reality doesn't fit with how you'd like it to be? Well gee, I'm sorry!" he scoffed, getting fed up with this. "Now if you excuse me I have to go ignore you some more so I can finish up my book." And with that he turned around, walking away as fast as he could, his mind on everything but the book.

She stared speechless after him for a long time, too stunned by his sudden disappearance to come up with anything to yell after him. She could feel the anger floating through her, filling her every fiber and for a second she was almost ready to run after him, stop him and yell at him some more.

She wanted him to know how wrong he was, how she felt about everything, school, work, his book, that he always seemed to be somewhere else even when he was right beside her. She wanted to yell at him about his disappearing. Mostly she just wanted to keep yelling, as if that would make it all better, like it would get them back on track, back to their perfect life from only a month ago.

But she stood still where she was, watching him disappear around a corner and kept standing there for a long time, letting the anger float through her and eventually out of her. She felt almost like a balloon that had been popped with a needle, drained and shrunken, void of all energy, instead of floating upwards falling down faster and faster. Eventually she sat down on a bench, completely exhausted, not knowing what to do but sit there.

He rounded the corner off the nearest building, managing to make it there without looking back at her. His heart was beating fast and his jaws were clenched so tightly it almost gave him a headache, but he didn't care. He only sped up his steps, making his way off the campus as fast as possible without running, ignoring the people he collided with on the way.

His mind was playing the last couple of minutes over and over in record speed, making him relive it again and again, and it only managed to fuel his anger even more. Panting he burst out through the gates and continued over to the parking. What he needed now, he decided, was more speed and he steered his way over to his car that he had parked with great relief not much more than twelve hours before.

As he steered the car out of the parking spot, the warm air of the car surrounding him, and barely missed backing into an oncoming car he almost decided to forget the idea. But a bigger and more persuasive part of him kept him going and he hit the gas, speeding out towards the edge of the city, not caring what direction he went.

He knew, somewhere deep inside, that the anger floating around everywhere in him was for the most part very irrational and uncalled for. But like with the driving some other part of him took over, feeding the anger till it was almost another being, almost visible beside him. The pressure in his head had finally developed into a pounding headache, but the only thing it accomplished was to drive him even faster forward.

* * *

"You finally gonna tell me what happened?" Lorelai asked when the after credits began to roll, eyeing her daughter carefully.

They had been sitting on the couch for hours now, watching old movies and eating junk food. It wasn't that she minded the activity; it was just that she knew Rory had something on her mind. Her daughter's puffy eyes had not gone unnoticed when she appeared and Lorelai knew for a fact that Rory was supposed to be at the paper now, or maybe off somewhere studying, and not curled up on her couch, hugging a pillow.

Rory didn't say anything for a long while, only hugged the pillow closer, her eyes trained on the rapidly flowing text on the TV. "We had a fight," she suddenly whispered, close to tears. "In the middle of campus. It was bad."

"Aw, I'm sorry Hon," Lorelai exclaimed, opening her arms for her daughter, hugging her close when she crawled over and whispered soothing words in her hair.

And then the tears began to fall for real, tears of exhaustion, anger, frustration, all the pent up emotions of the past month flowing out at once. It was a long time before Rory's sobs subsided and she relaxed her tight hold of her mother.

"I'm sorry," she hiccupped, using the back of her hand to remove tears from her cheeks. "I don't know why…"

"No, no, don't apologize," Lorelai hurriedly interjected, hugging her daughter closely to her again. "You've got nothing to apologize for."

"I'm so tired," Rory mumbled, pressing down another attack of tears.

"It'll soon be over and then you can sleep for a whole week, won't that be fun?" Lorelai asked, trying to make her voice as cheerful as possible. Inside she was dying to know more about the fight, but she was determined to wait till Rory was ready.

"Sounds nice," Rory mumbled and took a deep breath, stroking the last tears away from her cheeks and sitting up. "I must look like a mess," she said and looked up at her mother with a trying smile.

"Aw no, you're as beautiful as always," Lorelai assured her while gently moving a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Thank you," Rory smiled.

"You're more than welcome. I mean, what am I supposed to do if not assure my perfect daughter she looks like a goddess even after spending a good ten minutes crying?" Lorelai asked with a huge grin.

Almost against her will Rory started laughing, her eyes tearing again, but when the laughter subsided she felt a lot lighter, like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She met her mothers questioning eyes and smiled a little. "I love you mom," Rory said and hugged her tightly.

"Love you too, sweetie," Lorelai said, hugging back and kissed her daughter's forehead. "So…" She continued, her curiosity taking over.

"Well…" Rory began cautiously, sitting back and looking up at her mother, "I wanted him to come to dinner with dad on Friday, but he can't because he has a dinner thing with work and everything just got too much for both of us I think, so we started yelling at each other and then he left. In the middle of it, he just left and didn't even let me finish yelling at him." She took a deep breath, calming herself down again, before concluding, "God, that feels so stupid now, but I was just so mad."

"Everything you do seems rational when you're mad enough," Lorelai agreed. "I bet you both regret some things you said, but you'll get over it."

"I hope so," Rory mumbled.

"You will," Lorelai assured her. "So, what was all the yelling about?"

"It's all a bit fuzzy," Rory said, leaning her head against the back of the couch. "But I think we both accused the other of not caring and never being around. And parts of it weren't exactly wrong because we have both been so busy lately. I've had school, the paper, work and Jess is finishing his book and doing his normal work. And I just think everything finally exploded."

"Ok, so basically it was just a whole lot of clearing the air?" Lorelai clarified and gave her daughter a questioning look to which Rory offered a small nod. "Well, that's not so bad."

"Yeah, I guess," Rory sighed, leaning her head against Lorelai's shoulder. "I was just so mad, you know," she said, almost to herself. "And then he left and I just stood there, not knowing what to do for so long. And I felt so lonely."

"Hey, listen to me," Lorelai said, shifting so she was facing her daughter, looking her in the eyes. "You'll talk it over and then you'll make up, and I so don't want the details of that by the way, and then everything will be fine and you'll get back to being sickeningly cute again."

Rory couldn't help but smile at her mother's words. They gave her hope and she began to relax a little more. They sat in silence for a while, watching the blank TV screen, until they could hear footsteps on the front porch approaching the door.

"Damn, I forgot to call Luke," Lorelai exclaimed and gave Rory a quick hug. "I'll be right back, just sit tight," she said and hurried over to the front door, intercepting her husband before he could enter the house.

Rory listened to the mumbled voices, wondering what her mother was telling Luke, but she was too tired to really be bothered about it. She slowly closed her eyes and could almost feel herself falling asleep.

She didn't notice her mother coming back, or the blanket being tucked around her.

* * *

The apartment was quiet and dark when he entered and looked very much like it had the last time he had been there. He guessed that Luke didn't use it that often anymore. He winced a little when he dropped his bag to the floor and breathed out a string of curses. It felt like it had been days since he drove off from Yale, but he figured it had only been about ten hours.

He made his way over to the couch and let himself fall down on it, grateful to be still again, and very much appreciating the softness of it. He contemplated removing his shoes, but decided against it and instead relaxed into a comfortable position with his head resting on the armrest.

He was almost asleep when the creaking of a door startled him out of his thoughts and nearly made him jump out of his skin. Breathing hard he sat up and was suddenly face to face with a very surprised Luke.

Luke was the first one to speak. "You look like shit," he stated, closing the door after him and walking up to the fridge.

"Huh, thanks Uncle Luke," Jess replied tiredly, falling back down on the couch, covering his eyes with a hand. "You sure know how to make a guy feel better."

"Well, I wasn't exactly expecting to find you on my couch and you look like you've been through a storm," Luke shrugged and pulled out two beers.

"Not too far off," Jess mumbled, closing his eyes for a second before sitting up.

"And besides," Luke said, sitting down on a chair by the kitchen table, "I'm not sure how friendly I'm supposed to be with you yet." He opened his beer and held up the other for Jess, indicating for him to come and join him by the table.

Jess groaned and closed his eyes again, pulling a hand through his tangled hair. "I suppose Rory went to Lorelai, huh?" he said, already knowing the answer.

Luke nodded, eyeing him carefully. "Yeah, she was there when I got home and Lorelai ushered me out of the house, saying they needed some girl time."

Jess only nodded as response and taking a deep breath he stood up with a grimace and walked over to the table, gratefully accepting the bottle before sinking down on a chair. The room descended in silence, both men sitting on their chairs, sipping on their beers and both trying to decide what to say, waiting for the other to start. The only sound was the occasional shuffling of feet against the floor when one of them changed position.

"So, what are you doing here?" Luke asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

"I needed to think," Jess said quietly, not looking back up at Luke.

"Want to talk about it?" Luke asked, fixing his eyes on his nephew across the table. "Whatever it is."

"I don't know," Jess shrugged and finished his beer, setting the bottle down on the table carefully. "I don't even know where to start if I did."

"You could start by telling me how you ended up looking like something the cat dragged in," Luke suggested, not completely able to hide his curiosity.

Jess gave a humorless snort and shook his head. "Walking almost ten miles can do that to you," he answered after a brief pause.

"Do I even want to know how you ended up on this walk of yours?" Luke asked suspiciously, but also somewhat amused.

"Probably not," Jess offered after thinking through the events of the afternoon. "Do you mind if I use the shower?" he asked then.

"Uh…no, go ahead," Luke said shrugging. "Towels are in the closet and you left some clothes in the drawer over there."

"Thanks," Jess nodded with a small smile, grateful that Luke didn't press him for any details. He didn't feel like talking about his day just yet, with anyone.

After the shower he felt a lot better. The warm water had eased the ache in his muscles and made him more relaxed. The headache had been reduced to a small pounding in the back of his head, and compared to a couple hours ago he hardly noticed it anymore.

He found Luke still sitting at the kitchen table, staring at the empty bottle in his hands, and walked up, taking his seat again. Then he noticed the phone on the table.

"Lorelai called," Luke said, as if reading his mind, and looked up from his contemplating of the bottle. "She told me that I could come home again, that Rory was asleep on the couch," he continued, studying Jess' face as he spoke and thought he saw him nod a little. When he didn't get any more response, he added, "I told her you were here."

"Oh," Jess mumbled, looking down at the table, fiddling with the tablecloth in the middle of it.

"Yeah," Luke nodded, studying him carefully, but not able to read his expression.

"We had a fight," Jess suddenly blurted out, surprising both Luke and himself, and then grew quiet again.

"Yeah, I kinda figured," Luke said quietly. "You…"

"I don't really want to talk about it, no," Jess interrupted quickly. "I just… Damn, I don't know."

"You ok?" Luke asked after a long silence, not sure what to say and really not comfortable with the situation.

"Been better, been worse," Jess mumbled, rubbing his face with his hands. "Look, I really don't want to talk about it, ok."

"Yeah, sure," Luke nodded, and the room grew quiet again.

"Could you come with me to get my car tomorrow?" Jess asked suddenly, breaking the silence and startling Luke.

"Uh, yeah. Sure," Luke agreed. "Um…where?"

"Somewhere on the way to Woodbury," Jess said, not looking up.

"What's it doing there?" Luke asked, trying to get some more information about the situation.

"It ran out of gas," Jess said simply with a shrug. "And I didn't have any money to get it filled."

"What?" Luke asked surprised and a bit worried. "I didn't think you had any trouble with money. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't," Jess assured him with a small laugh. "Someone apparently went through my car and took anything valuable there was," he said, sitting still and staring at his hands, then shook his head a little. "Including my wallet," he added when Luke didn't say anything.

"Someone broke into your car?" Luke asked baffled, not at all expecting that.

"Well…I was angry and forgot to lock it, so technically they didn't even break in," Jess said with a shrug and looked up briefly. "They left the bag and the chapter for the book I'm working on though. And the car, which I don't really get. Guess it was too much trouble hotwiring it or something. Which doesn't really make any sense 'cause that wouldn't take more than half a minute or so." He shrugged again.

"Did you report it?" Luke asked.

"I found a payphone and blocked the cards and the phone. Didn't have enough change to call the police though. Didn't see much point in it anyway and besides, it can wait till the morning."

"Yeah, probably," Luke agreed thoughtfully. "Hey," he exclaimed then, eyeing his nephew, "how do you know about hotwiring a car?"

Jess looked up at him curiously and shook his head amusedly, chuckling a little. "You serious?" he asked, and chuckled some more when Luke just kept staring at him sternly. "You are, aren't you?"

"Oh, I'm very serious," Luke agreed, not breaking eye contact.

"You seriously mean to tell me that Liz never once told you about any of the reasons she sent me here?" Jess asked, looking back at Luke curiously.

"Well, no she didn't. She just said you got into some trouble and that she couldn't deal with it," Luke said, trying to remember anything specific and not coming up with anything.

"And you never asked?" Jess asked, raising an eyebrow at him and shaking his head with a scoff.

"Of course I did," Luke said. "But you know Liz. How far do you think that got me?"

"Right," Jess agreed, shaking his head again. "You seriously had no idea what you were getting into, did you?

"Nope, not a clue," Luke admitted, releasing a deep breath.

"Sorry," Jess said, looking up at Luke seriously.

Luke stared at him for a second and then a small smile appeared on his face and he nodded a little before getting up from his chair. "Go get some sleep, I'll go get your car tomorrow morning," Luke said and walked over to the door, putting up a hand to stop Jess from protesting. "And you go talk to Rory," he finished with a stern look and went out the door, closing it behind him.

Jess sat still for a long while, staring at the door, and then went up and lay down on his back on the bed, feeling the day catch up to him and soon drifted off to sleep.


	18. Chapter 17 Good Morning

**Not Dreaming**

* * *

**A/N:** Hmm…I suck at this updating thing lately, huh? I'm sorry. I can't really say anything else in my defense than that I just couldn't seem to write.

This chapter goes out with a bunch of hugs to Knowhere and Sandi, because you're both awesome.

* * *

**Chapter 17. ****Good Morning**

* * *

Jess woke up early, even before the sun was up. At first he wasn't sure where he was, the smell and lack of sounds around him unfamiliar. But then he heard yelling from far away and memories of yesterday came back to him.

He groaned and closed his eyes tightly, wanting desperately to go back to sleep, but knowing that it was no use. There were too many things on his mind now that he had already woken up and there was no way he could just ignore them and go back to sleep.

He needed to think things through, sort everything out and come up with a good way of apologizing to Rory for taking off. And probably for yelling at her too, even though he didn't necessarily think he had been wrong.

He opened his eyes again and glanced at his watch, sighing when he saw it read 5:30. Frustrated he got out of bed, stretched until his back cracked and ambled over to the bathroom in hopes of a long hot shower. Hopefully that would clear his head and let him make some sort of plan for the day.

The shower didn't help much and he was still unsure of what to do. His muscles ached a little less, which was a plus, but that was about it. With a sigh, he got dressed and then he went down in the diner in search of something to eat and hopefully a distraction.

Luke looked up from taking Kirk's order when he heard footsteps on the stairs from the apartment and saw Jess slowly walking out from behind the curtain. Luke raised an eyebrow, glancing at his watch, but just got a shrug in response.

He turned back to Kirk, trying to figure out what it was he actually wanted to order and Jess walked up behind the counter and poured himself a cup of coffee before taking a seat at one of the stools and grabbing a doughnut.

Kirk finally made up his mind and Luke smiled to himself as he went out in the kitchen to start cooking, feeling almost like he had gone 5 years back in time, back to when Jess had just arrived. But then he saw the tired look on his nephew's face and realized things were very different from back then.

They didn't say much, but when he had finished his doughnut Jess got up and grabbed an order pad, walking up to the man who had just entered. Luke stared at him for a second, but didn't say anything about it, only watched while he wrote down the order and returned to the kitchen.

Jess, glad for the distraction, deposited the order with Luke in the kitchen and continued over to take the order from the elderly couple. He briefly wondered what reasons they could have for being up before six in the morning, but realized he could ask himself that same question, so he decidedly pushed it away.

The stream of customers grew steadily as the morning rush neared and he found himself with more and more to do, which he was only grateful for. With his hands busy he had something to concentrate on and distract his mind from the things he just didn't want to think about yet.

* * *

Through the hazy half awake state she was in, Rory felt something heavy land beside her and opened her eyes slowly to find herself staring up into the brown eyes of a very hairy dog.

At first she just stared, too surprised to really react, but then the dog proceeded to lick her face and she yelped before scrambling to get away, ending up in a heap of limbs and blankets on the floor. She watched the dog huff before jumping down from the couch. Then she saw him padding up the stairs and she slowly hauled herself off of the floor.

She was a bit surprised to find herself waking up on the couch, but then she remembered last night. She sighed, laid down on the couch again and wrapped herself up in the blanket, wanting to go back to sleep, but quickly realized it wouldn't happen. She was now fully awake and apparently she was supposed to be. She sighed and once again got out of the bed, not at all prepared to handle everything from the past day, and went to take a shower.

Upstairs, Lorelai had just barely fallen asleep once again when she heard a pair of feet climb the stairs slowly and then the bathroom door open and shortly after the shower turning on. She sighed at the thought that her daughter, who never voluntarily got up before 6 in the morning, apparently had done just that today.

She had almost gone back to sleep after Luke left for the diner in the morning when she had heard a thud from downstairs, quickly followed by clicking footsteps on the stairs. And then Paul Anka had appeared in the doorway to the bedroom, waited there for a second and then walked up to the bed and crawled on it, lying down comfortably by her feet.

And now her daughter was up too. She listened to the shower running for a while before she decided to get up as well. Paul Anka lifted his head and peered up at her questioningly, but didn't move to follow her. She patted his head on her way by and grabbed her bathrobe before walking down the stairs to make coffee.

When Rory walked into the kitchen Lorelai was sitting on a chair, leaning on the kitchen table, with her hands wrapped around a coffee mug. When she saw Rory appear in the doorway she unwrapped one of her hands and picked up a second coffee mug from the table, reaching it out to her.

"Good morning," Lorelai said, watching her daughter eagerly down the coffee.

"Morning," Rory mumbled after finishing her coffee and sat down at the table with a big sigh.

"You ok, honey?" Lorelai asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm…" Rory began, but caught Lorelai's slightly disbelieving look and stopped, shaking her head. "No."

"You want to talk about it?" Lorelai asked, but Rory shook her head, staring down at the table. "Wallow? Sleep some more…?" she suggested.

"I don't know," Rory sighed, putting her head down on the table.

"More coffee?" Lorelai asked.

"Yeah, thanks," Rory said, lifting her head again.

"See, there's nothing large amounts of coffee can't help," Lorelai smiled.

Despite her crappy mood Rory couldn't help but smile at Lorelai's comment, and she chuckled a little as she accepted the refilled coffee mug. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Rory sipped at her coffee, staring out into space and Lorelai eyed her carefully for a while, trying to decide whether or not to interrupt her thoughts. She finally couldn't stay silent anymore.

"You sure you don't want to talk more?" she asked.

"I already told you what that happened last night," Rory said with a sigh.

"I know, but you fell asleep before we could really talk about it," Lorelai reminded her.

"I don't want to talk about it," Rory said quietly, playing with the coffee mug in her hands. "I just want to fix it."

"So go talk to him," Lorelai suggested, squeezing her hand.

"But I…" Rory protested, the panic inside her evident in her voice.

"You won't be able to fix anything by hiding, Rory," Lorelai said. "And the sooner you fix it the sooner you'll feel ok again."

"But I don't even know where he is," Rory started protesting weakly, but then heard what she was saying. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed, standing up. "I don't remember seeing his car when I left yesterday. He always drives too fast when he's angry and yesterday he was definitely angry."

"Rory, Rory, calm down," Lorelai interjected her rambling.

"Calm down? How can you ask me to calm down?" Rory was now in her room, frantically looking through her bag for her cell phone. "What if he went out driving and something happened?"

"Nothing happened," Lorelai assured her.

"How do you know?" Rory asked, finally locating her phone.

"Well, I…" Lorelai started carefully.

"Stupid phone!" Rory exclaimed, cutting her off as she fumbled with the buttons, trying to disable the key lock.

"Rory, calm down. He's ok," Lorelai said, taking the phone form her daughter. "Just calm down."

"How do you know?" Rory repeated and then looked up at her mother hopefully. "You know where he is?"

"He was in the apartment when Luke got there last night," Lorelai said.

"Thank God," Rory said with a sigh of relief. "Is he ok?" she asked then.

"As far as I know he's still alive and breathing," Lorelai assured her. "More than that I don't really know. Luke wouldn't tell me more."

"So he's ok," Rory mumbled to herself, relief filling her when Lorelai nodded. It soon gave way to anger though. Wasn't it enough that he yelled at her, did he have to scare her half to death too? She took a deep breath to calm herself down to keep from taking out her frustration on her mother. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked finally.

"You were busy freaking out just now," Lorelai said, sitting them both down on the edge of Rory's bed. "And I just got up; you know my mind doesn't work properly before ten in the morning."

"But you could have told me last night," Rory said, looking up at Lorelai. "Then I wouldn't have been freaking out just now."

"You were asleep, honey," Lorelai said, rubbing her arm. "I didn't want to wake you up."

"Oh." Rory dropped her head, leaning it on Lorelai's shoulder and took a deep breath.

* * *

It was the middle of the morning rush, the diner was filled to its limit and Jess was rushing around filling coffees and delivering orders. He was exhausted, but he didn't allow himself to stop for more than a couple seconds at a time, figuring something to do was the best way to keep his mind in check.

Although the morning rush at Luke's was maybe not the best thing he could have come up with. He was starting to have trouble containing his temper when more than one customer in less than two minutes couldn't seem to make up his mind. It was almost like having a live flashback to four years earlier, and that thought didn't exactly cheer him up. He didn't exactly want to be reminded of all the stupid things he had done then.

The bell chimed again when he was in the middle of convincing a customer that the eggs could in fact be fried instead of scrambled, regardless of what the menu said. And the voice that called out his name not long after had never made him more relieved, even though she sounded a bit astonished.

"Lane," he returned, leaving the customer at the table without a second look.

"What are you doing here?" Lane asked, still standing right inside the door.

"Going insane," he told her and gave her his order pad. "Here, you go deal with the moron at the corner table before I say or do something I might even regret later."

"But I…" Lane started protesting, motioning to the bag in her hand.

"I can take that," he said quickly, taking her bag and walking away, putting it in the staircase up to the apartment.

He spent the next half hour pouring coffees, not caring particularly if the cups were empty or not, or if the customer actually wanted coffee. He noticed Lane giving him strange looks, but he ignored it, continuing around the room till the diner finally started clearing out.

There were only five customers left when he went back behind the counter to start making more coffee. When he was done they were only three and he found himself standing with a coffee pot in hand and nothing to do. Then Miss Patty walked in, stopping for a second to look at him before continuing over to a table.

"I'm going out to get your car Jess," Luke said, wiping his hands on a towel as he walked out of the kitchen.

"I'm coming with you," Jess said quickly, putting the coffee pot down.

"No, you're not," Luke said.

"Oh, I definitely am," Jess insisted. "Miss Patty just came in and she's giving me funny looks and I'm not in the mood for any of her questions."

"I told you last night to go talk to Rory, why don't you do that?" Luke asked, giving him a pointed look.

Jess sighed and closed his eyes briefly. "Do you know what time it is?" he asked.

"Around seven thirty," Luke said with a shrug. "Why?"

"You just answered your own question," Jess clarified, hoping Luke would let it go.

"So?" Luke asked. "Bring her breakfast and make her happy when she wakes up."

"I can't," Jess said

"Sure you can," Luke said. "You just…"

"Would you just drop it?" Jess said, irritated. "I can't right now, ok?"

"Ok, I just…" Luke began.

"Don't!" Jess cut him off.

"Fine, dropping it for now," Luke consented. "But you're still not coming with me."

"Luke, someone has to drive my car back here," Jess reasoned.

"Why? I've got the toe line," Luke said with a shrug.

"So you're gonna drive 20 miles an hour for 10 miles?" Jess asked.

"I…" Luke began, but didn't get any further until Jess cut him off.

"You're gonna go insane with all the people wanting to pass you all the time," Jess said, determined to go with him. "And they'll be honking 'cause you're taking up space with that big truck of yours," he added for effect.

Luke glared and tried to think of anything good to say when Lane came out of the kitchen behind them.

"I think he's got you there, Luke," she chirped in helpfully, a wide grin on her face, while she passed them, balancing two plates. "Though I've got no idea what you're talking about," she added, her expression turning confused as she walked out in the diner.

"Fine, come with me if you must," Luke gave in and headed for the door. "Don't burn down the diner while I'm out," he told Lane, more out of habit than with any real worry and she nodded, waving after them as they exited the diner.

"Thank you," Jess mouthed to Lane as he closed the door and she gave him a confused smile before getting back out in the kitchen.

* * *

"You feeling better?" Lorelai asked. She was lying on her back on Rory's bed, next to her daughter. They had been lying there silently for almost an hour by now, staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah, I'm ok," Rory assured her, taking a deep breath and giving her a smile.

"Then why do I not believe you?" Lorelai asked, eyeing her with raised eyebrows.

"Because I'm a terrible liar?" Rory asked with a deep sigh.

Lorelai studied her for a few minutes and then nodded. "That might be it."

Rory smiled at her again and then turned back to look at the ceiling. "Hey, no one is perfect."

"I rather like the fact that you never perfected the art of lying," Lorelai said, braving a smile.

"I bet you do," Rory chuckled softly, but soon grew quiet again.

Lorelai studied her daughter in silence for a while. "So, you finally want to talk to me?"

"Yeah, I think so," Rory said. "I just want to get dressed. And I should call the paper, tell them they can send their articles by e-mail."

"You staying the day?" Lorelai said, not really making it a question.

"Yeah," Rory said with a small nod. "I don't think I could handle the paper today. And I probably need the time off anyway; I've been going crazy this last week."

"Ok," Lorelai agreed, sitting up on the bed. "You want breakfast?" she asked.

"Yeah, thanks," Rory nodded with a small smile.

"Ok, I'll be back soon," Lorelai said and got up off the bed and walked out the room. She went up the stairs, pulling some clothes on and hurried out to the car, calling a goodbye as she closed the front door.

Rory was still lying on her back on the bed. She listened to the car starting outside and then as it drove away, and took a deep breath. Slowly she stood up and went over to the closet, looking through it for something to wear, grateful that she kept some clothes there.

She finally settled on a skirt and a tank top, remembering the warmth from the past days. Slowly she slipped out of her robe and into her clothes, brushed her hair and then stood for a couple minutes, watching herself in the mirror.

After a quick glance at her watch, she sighed and picked up her phone again. It was a quarter to eight and no one would be there except Paris. She wasn't exactly up to talking to her, especially after the previous afternoon, but she dialed anyway.

"Yale Daily News," she heard Paris's voice over the phone after only one ring and she sighed before answering.

"Hi Paris, it's me," she said, wincing a little at her choice of greeting.

Five minutes and a lot of yelling later Rory hung up the phone and fell back down on her bed. It was draining to talk to Paris, even when she was in a good mood and this had definitely not been one of those times. But now she had made sure the paper was in good hands for the day, she had made sure Paris had found the article she had managed to send in the day before and she had told Paris she was home being sick.

She didn't really feel good lying to Paris, but she couldn't exactly tell the truth. And she definitely couldn't go to the paper today. It would end up a disaster and she didn't need that above everything else. She sighed and pushed the thought out of her mind.

Not long after she heard the car drive up outside the house again and she took a deep breath, getting ready for her talk with her mother. And she was pretty sure Lorelai had gone to Luke's to get breakfast, so she was anxiously waiting for any information she could get about Jess. She wanted badly to see him, but she just couldn't muster up the courage to go there and talk to him yet. She would go by the bridge later to see if he was there.

Lorelai entered not long after, yelling out to her that she had pancakes, bacon and coffee. Rory smiled, almost against her will, and went to meet her in the kitchen.

* * *

Jess parked his car behind the truck outside of Luke's and sat there for a while before getting out. The first thing he saw when he looked inside the diner was Miss Patty and Babette sitting at a table by the window, looking out at him with identical expressions on their faces.

He sighed and walked up to Luke who was waiting outside of his truck. "I'm going up in the apartment. I need to call the bank, work and whatever else there is," he said when he came up beside him.

"Yeah, go ahead," Luke agreed. "You need any help, just let me know."

"Just keep those two away from me," Jess said with a sigh, nodding towards the two women who were now busy trying not to look at him.

"God, don't they have something better to do?" Luke said with a scoff, shaking his head.

"Well, this is Stars Hollow," Jess said with a shrug. "Babette probably saw Rory arrive yesterday and knows she spent the night over there."

"Yeah, probably," Luke agreed. "You know, you really should…"

"I thought you said you'd drop it," Jess cut him off.

"Ok, ok," Luke said, backing off again. "Let's just go in."

Jess nodded and walked up to the door, hurrying inside and up the stairs, ignoring the questions directed to him. He took a deep breath when he was safely up the stairs and smiled a little as he heard Luke telling them to order or get out of the diner.

He walked into the apartment, pulled out the phone book from the shelf and sat down at the kitchen table with the phone, staring at it for a couple seconds. Then he decidedly opened the phone book, filing through it and was about to call when he remembered the time. Realizing that nothing would be open at half past eight in the morning he just wrote down the numbers and sat staring straight ahead for a while.

He called work, telling them he would need another day to finish the book and that he would take it with him when he came down on Friday. Then he tried looking over his draft, making those last changes it needed, but he couldn't concentrate. He picked up a book he had left in the apartment and tried to read to make time pass, but he couldn't keep his mind on the words. Frustrated he sat down at the table again, staring at his watch, trying to make the time go faster.

Finally it turned ten and he spent another hour making calls, figuring out how to get new bank cards, a new driver's license and everything else he needed. He felt drained when he was done, but at least he'd been able to do something.

He looked through the notes he had made and started making a list over the things he needed to do. When he came to point seven he suddenly stopped, staring down at the paper. "Damnit," he mumbled to himself and dropped the pen, putting his head in his hands.

He took a deep breath and got up from the table, looked around the apartment for a while and then went out and down the stairs. "Luke?" he called when he got down into the diner again. He quickly looked out over the room, but didn't see anyone he recognized more than fleetingly.

"Yeah?" Luke said, walking out of the kitchen.

"I'm going out for a while," Jess said.

"Ok," Luke nodded, giving him a small smile.

He exited the diner, closing the door slowly behind him, and started walking, no destination in mind. He walked randomly, up one street, down another, finding himself in parts of town he thought he had never seen before, thought he knew he most likely had.

Eventually he found himself walking by the school, and soon the bridge became visible between the trees. He scoffed to himself and turned down to the lake. Once again he had ended up at the bridge. He somehow thought it inevitable; it was where he always ended up when he needed to think in this town. The only place he had ever felt really comfortable when he lived here.

He slowly made his way out to the middle of the bridge and stood there for a few minutes before sitting down. He had no idea how long he sat there; it could be minutes or hours, time didn't seem to matter. It felt good though, just sitting there, letting his mind wander, although he didn't get much thinking done.

His wandering thoughts were interrupted by tentative footsteps approaching the bridge, pausing at the edge and then slowly continuing. He didn't have to look up to know who it was and he thought that maybe if he didn't look up he'd make it easier for her to come up to him.

The footsteps stopped a few feet to his right. He waited a couple seconds, not sure if she would continue or not, but when she didn't he looked up at her.

"Hey," he said, obviously startling her where she stood, looking out over the water.

"Hi," she echoed quietly, slowly turning her head around and met his gaze for a second before looking away quickly.

They both grew quiet, staring out over the water. She glanced over at him quickly, and sat down on the bridge, a bit closer than she was before.

"Shouldn't you be at the paper?" he blurted out, the first thing that came to mind, and groaned when he realized how it sounded. "I didn't…"

"I…um…called in sick," she said, glancing over at him again with a small nervous smile.

He whipped his head around at that, eyeing her curiously. "Huh."

"Yeah." She blushed under his gaze and once again turned her head to look out over the water. And again silence descended over them.

Finally he sighed and turned to her again. "Why is this so awkward?"

"I think it's supposed to be awkward," she said, looking back at him. "I mean, yesterday we…" she trailed off, looking away again.

"Yeah," he agreed uncomfortably and they both grew quiet again.

"I've been by here a couple times this morning," she said blushing a little and looking intently at her hands.

"Oh?" he said, looking at her curiously.

"Yeah, mom told me this morning that you were at Luke's. I was pretty sure you'd come here eventually." She kept her eyes sternly at her hands.

"You were, huh?" he asked with a hint of smile in his voice.

At his tone she looked up again, meeting his gaze and grew a little redder. "Yeah," she whispered.

"I've become that transparent?" he said, shaking his head with a sigh. "I have to do something about that."

"I like it," she said quietly.

A bit surprised by her words he looked over at her intently, trying to read her expression, but she had her head turned away slightly, looking out over the water.

"I like that you let me get to know you," she said, equally quiet.

"Oh," he mumbled, not sure what to say. So far none of this had gone anyway near what he had been expecting.

"Yeah." She nodded to herself. "Mom also said you weren't there this morning when she got breakfast. That Lane told her you were out with Luke?" She wasn't really sure what she was asking, only that it definitely felt like a question.

"Yeah, we um…went out to get my car," Jess said, debating whether or not he should tell her what happened the day before.

"Oh," Rory mumbled, feeling there was something he wanted to tell her.

"Yeah, I…" he began, but stopped when Rory suddenly cut him off.

"This morning I realized I had no idea where you were," she said, breaking the silence, her eyes still locked on her hands, "and I couldn't remember your car in the parking when I drove here."

"I went out for a drive," he said quietly.

"Yeah, I thought so," she nodded and paused for a second. "I panicked and kept imagining all the horrible things that could have happened to you and…"

"Hey," he said, moving closer to her, "nothing happened."

"Yeah, I know," she said, looking up at him. "It's just that I kept thinking that the last time I saw you I'd been yelling at you and I…"

"Rory, you're gonna drive yourself crazy thinking like that, ok," Jess said, once again interrupting her.

"I know, I just can't stop," she said quietly. "You know you sometimes get reckless when you're really angry," she continued.

"I…" he began, but she looked up at him sternly and he stopped.

"You know it's true," she said, looking at him. "And if something had happened yesterday it'd have been my fault."

"Don't say that," he protested. "Nothing happened, and even if it had, it would not have been your fault, ok."

"It still feels that way," she mumbled. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, staring down at her hands. "For yesterday, for the past month…"

"Yeah, me too," he said, equally quiet.

"We should probably have started here, right?" she asked.

"Probably," he agreed and looked over at her with a small smirk. "But what's the fun in that?"

"Right," she smiled back. "Though I'm not sure this is supposed to be fun."

"Huh, and here I thought the whole point of a fight was to make up afterwards," he smirked at her and she couldn't help but laugh.

They smiled at each other and she reached down to take his hand in hers, entwining their fingers. "We really need to talk though," she said, serious again.

He looked down at their now joined hands and nodded. "Yeah, I know."

"Yesterday was…" she began, but couldn't figure out how to describe it and trailed off.

"Bad?" he offered.

"Well, for lack of better word, yeah," she agreed. "It started good though," she added quietly.

"Yeah, it did," he nodded.

"God, I'm so sorry, for forgetting about that dinner, for assuming you'd be free, for the way I've been acting this past month, for…"

"Hey, breathe, ok," he interjected, looking at her and squeezed her hand.

"No, I…" she began, but he cut her off again.

"Rory, stop!" he said sternly, searching for her eyes.

"But, I…" she tried again. This time she was stopped by him kissing her.

"Will you just be quiet for a while?" he said when he pulled back.

She looked at him, stunned, and nodded slowly.

"Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you, I'm sorry I left and I'm sorry I've been a bit preoccupied lately," he said, holding her gaze. "And I know you're sorry too, but repeating it isn't going to change anything. Ok?"

"Ok," she said quietly.

"Good," he said, smirking at her. "So…how do we avoid making a scene among people in the future?" he asked seriously.

"We should talk once in a while even when we don't think we have the time," she said, a small smile on her lips. "And I promise to listen in the future."

"Sounds good." He leaned in to kiss her again. "I hate fighting with you," he mumbled against her lips, looking into her eyes.

"Yeah, me too," she whispered and kissed him back.

"We'll have less to do in a week, think we can last that long?" he asked, pulling back a little.

"Let's hope," she smiled and reached her hand up to his cheek, stroking the light stubble on it. "You forgot to shave this morning."

"I was a bit preoccupied," he smirked and caught her hand in his.

She nodded a little, moving as close as she could and kissed him again, closing her eyes. Then she suddenly broke away, looking at him curiously. "Do you think there's something about the end of spring that makes us go crazy?" she asked.

"Huh, what?" he asked, confused.

"I mean, yesterday wasn't the first time we did stupid things around this time of year."

"Oh?" he said, nodding a little.

"Yeah well, I went to Washington, you left for California and then there was my dorm…" she looked up quickly, scanning his face, "and what happened after that," she added uncomfortably. "Then I stole a boat and dropped out of Yale and last year I completely freaked out."

"I guess I'll have to keep an eye on you next year then," he smirked at her, "make sure you don't go out and jump off a cliff or something."

She glared at him and he chuckled a little before kissing her again.

So…that was that. I know some people were hoping for a more…graphic make up… But I didn't want it here. Maybe I'll save that for a later chapter. ;) Anyway, tell me what you think and make me happy.


	19. Chapter 18 Long Distance

**Not Dreaming**

* * *

**A/N:** I know some of you have wanted an update for this story for a long time, and I am sorry you didn't get it sooner. Considering how long it's been, I would advise you to read through the other chapters before reading this one, but I know it's a lot to get through, so just do as you want.

* * *

**Chapter 18**** – Long Distance**

* * *

He woke up to sunlight streaming into the room, giving it a soft glow as it filtered through the thin curtains in the window. He stretched a little, smiling to himself as he remembered the day when Rory had convinced him to put them up. Now he was grateful they were there, blocking out the unwanted light and shielding his eyes.

His movement caused a groan from her still sleeping form and his smile widened when she unconsciously snuggled closer, burrowing her head against his neck and draping one of her legs over his. He turned his head enough to kiss her forehead and she sighed softly in her sleep.

He slowly moved the arm she was lying on and shifted it until he could wrap it around her shoulders, bringing her even closer. His other hand gently stroked her arm that was slung over his chest before it found hers and entwined their fingers.

Closing his eyes again he lay still, listening to her soft breathing, a small smile playing at his lips. Turning his head more he rested it against her forehead and let the hand on her back slowly weave through her hair.

Not long after she stirred, her eyes fluttering open for a second. She stretched a little and adjusted her position until she was lying more on than beside him, her head nestled securely in the crook of his neck. She yawned and lightly kissed his neck, causing him to shiver.

"Hey," he whispered, rubbing his thumb over her hand.

"Already morning?" she grumbled back, snuggling her head further into his neck, trying to block out the light.

"It's…ten o'clock," he chuckled, checking the time on his alarm clock.

She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Ugh, too early," she protested and squeezed her eyes shut against the light that found its way in to her when he moved his head.

"Maybe you should have thought of that when you refused to go to sleep until 3:30 this morning," he whispered in her ear.

His breath made a shiver go down her spine and she sighed contently. "Your fault," she mumbled.

"Oh, and how's that?" he asked, running his fingers lazily over her upper back, a smirk tugging at his lips.

"Wipe that smirk off your face," she said with a pout, feeling her cheeks turning red.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Nothing…" she mumbled, turning even redder, "I just…"

"Are you blushing?" he asked, pulling back a little to get a better look at her.

"No!" she exclaimed, trying to hide her flaming cheeks.

"You weren't blushing last night," he stated, fighting a smile as he softly followed the outline of her ear with his lips.

A moan escaped her before she could stop it and she closed her eyes, forgetting to retort to his comment. He chuckled at her response and bit lightly on her earlobe, making her shiver.

"Still a bad idea to wake up?" he asked softly, relaxing back down on the bed, removing a few stray strands of hair from her cheek.

She smiled and leaned down to kiss him. "It's still too bright," she complained, pouting against his lips, making him laugh.

"You're crazy, you know that?" he asked and shook his head.

"That's why you love me," she beamed before giving him a big, wet kiss.

"Oh yeah?" he said, raising an eyebrow and looked up at her in amusement. "What makes you so sure?"

"Hmm…I don't know…" she started, half sitting up beside him, pretending to think. And then she smiled brightly. "You carried all my bags from the bus yesterday."

"We would never have gotten anywhere if I didn't," he objected. "You didn't even get five feet before you had to put them down and told me you were hungry."

"That's how it sounds now, yeah," Rory said knowingly. "You so did it for me. Oh, and you cooked dinner for me last night," she added with a proud smile.

Jess shook his head and scoffed. "Do you think I want Lorelai to come after me because I let you starve to death?" he asked. "You're a disaster in the kitchen."

"Blaming it on my mom, are you?" Rory laughed. "That's quite convenient, don't you think?"

"Nope, just practical," he stated, smirking when she glared at him.

"You're impossible," Rory pouted.

Jess' smirk widened. "Nah, just logical," he said and ducked under his arm when Rory tried to hit him. "No need to get violent," he protested and grabbed her arm in his hand, pulling her down flat on top of him.

Rory gasped at the unexpected movement, suddenly finding herself not even an inch away from him, staring into his eyes.

"Much better," he muttered before reaching up to catch her lips in a deep kiss. Rory sighed and then relaxed against him, opening her mouth a little and tangling her fingers in his hair.

She adjusted her position a little, leaning down further, deepening the kiss, and he responded by tightening his arms around her. He pressed her closer for a moment before turning them over so she was lying on her back and she smiled when he pulled back to look at her.

"Waking up was a pretty good idea," she said and reached up to ruffle his hair, giggling when he scowled at her.

Her giggles soon turned into a surprised scream though when his hand quickly found her waist and started tickling her. Twisting under him she struggled to get away from his hand, eventually collapsing, laughing breathlessly, when he finally stopped.

"Mean," she said accusingly when she could breathe again, but he just shook his head.

"You asked for it," he stated and she was certain he would have added a shrug had he not been supporting his weight on his arms over her.

He was so close, her arms trapped underneath him and she was lying flat on her back, staring up into his eyes. She was still breathing hard, and the intensity of his eyes didn't help at all. Instead she felt her heart rate speed up even more and she swallowed.

"Hi," she mumbled, feeling a smile spreading over her face.

"Hey," he returned, leaning down the last inch, rubbing his nose against hers. Her smile widened and she giggled quietly before reaching up as far as she could and kissed him.

He responded instantly, separating her lips with his tongue, deepening the kiss. She closed her eyes and arched her back, pressing herself against him and she heard him groan against her mouth. Turning her body slightly she managed to free one of her arms and her fingers found their way to the back of his head, tangling themselves in his hair, and she pulled his mouth even closer.

When he broke the kiss they were both breathing hard and he leaned his forehead against hers for a second. With a small kiss on her nose he shifted his weight to one arm and slowly trailed his now free hand up her side. Sighing contently she smiled up at him, her eyes still closed, and sunk deeper into the mattress, her fingers twirling his hair.

She pressed her hand harder against the back of his head, forcing his mouth down to hers and he kissed back for a moment before moving down to her cheek, leaving soft kisses along her jaw line.

Reaching her ear he heard Rory's stomach growl under him and he frowned, paused and pulled back enough to see her face with a silent question evident by his raised eyebrow. "Ignore it," she breathed and he nodded, returning to her neck, kissing his way down to her collarbone.

The next time he could feel the growl, and he could also feel Rory shifting beneath him. He groaned and pulled back, looking down at her again. "You're hungry." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah," she mumbled sheepishly, looking back at him apologetically. Jess took a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly before falling back heavily on the bed.

"And I totally killed the mood," Rory said quietly beside him, turning to face him.

Jess nodded slowly. "Yeah," he muttered, rubbing a hand over his face.

"I'm sorry," she said, leaning in and kissing him softly on the cheek. "If you make breakfast I promise we'll continue this later."

Jess glared at her and then shook his head. "Ok," he agreed with a sigh.

"Yay!" Rory exclaimed, trying to break the tension in the room and smiled as Jess gave a short laugh, shaking his head once more.

He rolled out of bed, stretching as he stood up and smirked at her trying to hide she was looking. Chuckling to himself he pulled on a pair of boxers and grabbed a t-shirt. He could almost hear her pout from her place still snuggled into the covers.

"You're the one who kicked me out of bed to make you breakfast," he said with a grin and pulled the t-shirt over his head.

"I did?" she asked, her pout still in place. Then her stomach grumbled loudly and she frowned. "I did," she sighed.

He just shook his head at her and walked out of the room. In the kitchen he opened the fridge and rummaged through it in search of something to make breakfast of. He found a pack of eggs and since he didn't feel up to anything fancy, he decided to make an omelet. From the back of the fridge he pulled out some ham and got a couple mushrooms from the box in the bottom, putting everything on the counter.

Taking out a frying pan, a chopping board and a mixing bowl he sighed at the lack of space on the counter. Rory had brought all of her mail, some books and countless folders when she arrived the day before and apparently she had thought that the kitchen counter was the best place to deposit of them.

Shaking his head he put everything down on the stove, and was just about to call for her to take care of her things if she wanted breakfast, when the logo on a folded paper on top of the pile caught his eye. He frowned and stared at it for a moment, resting his hands on the counter, leaning his weight on them.

With a deep breath he straightened out and grabbed the paper, just holding it for a second before leaning back against the counter and starting to read. As he got further through it his frown deepened.

After reading it through once he paused, staring at the paper, not really seeing it, trying to take it in. Then he shook his head and read it over again, making sure he hadn't misunderstood anything. But the letter said the same thing this time that it did the first.

He didn't notice when Rory appeared in the doorway, struggling with pulling one of his T-shirts over her head. "How's it going?" she asked, her voice muffled by the fabric, and finally managed to get the shirt over her head properly.

He whipped his head up at the sound of her voice, looking at her briefly, but didn't answer. Instead he motioned with the letter in her direction before looking back down, reading the last sentences once more.

"Oh," she mumbled when she saw what he was holding and stopped dead in her tracks.

"When were you gonna tell me?" he asked, looking up at her, the hand with the letter dropping to his side.

Rory still stood frozen in the doorway, her eyes seemingly glued to the paper. "I was…" she began carefully, "so many times, but it just…never came up."

"Never came up?" Jess questioned, staring at her. "You applied for a job. Here. In Philadelphia." He looked at her disbelievingly, emphasizing every word by pointing the letter at her. "And it never came up?"

"I know," she hurriedly said. "I just didn't want to get my hopes up or say anything and then have it not happening and then time just passed and…it never came up."

He was quiet for a moment. "So, you didn't tell me you might be moving to Philadelphia because you didn't want to get your hopes up?" he finally asked.

"Yeah, basically," Rory confirmed quietly.

"Huh," Jess mumbled and shook his head, dragging his free hand through his hair. "And it didn't occur to you that I might want to know about this?"

"Of course it occurred to me," Rory said, finally managing to walk past the doorway and into the kitchen. "I'm sorry."

Jess took a deep breath, putting the letter back on top of the pile on the counter beside him. "Yeah well, I know now, right?" he said dryly, looking up at her.

"Yeah," she agreed, sitting down on a chair, watching him carefully, unsure of what to say.

Jess leaned back against the counter and dragged a hand through his hair. His mind was racing, but he couldn't decide in what direction it was heading. He wanted to be happy for her about the interview, and he was. But at the same time he was disappointed, and maybe a bit angry that she hadn't told him something this important. Then there was an additional thought that he didn't quite let up to the surface, but every time he pushed it away, it just came back.

Trying to press the unwanted thoughts out of his mind he nodded slowly and turned around, picking up all of her things from the counter, moving them to the kitchen table. "So…the interview's Tuesday?" he asked, grabbing the bowl and an egg, hoping something to do would help him avoid thinking.

Rory frowned and watched as he started cracking eggs in the bowl. "Yeah," she finally said when he turned his head to look at her, raising an eyebrow, clearly expecting an answer. "At ten."

"Ok," Jess said absently, reaching for the chopping board and a knife and started cutting up the mushrooms. They both grew quiet, the only sound in the room that from the knife as it rhythmically hit the board.

"Now that you're here you could start the coffee," Jess suddenly said as he poured the sliced mushrooms into the eggs, breaking the silence and turning around briefly as he grabbed the ham.

Rory's frown deepened as she watched him. "Sure," she finally mumbled, feeling more than a little confused, and stood up, finding the coffee right where she remembered it to be.

Once again the room went quiet as they both finished their tasks, the silence interrupted only by the coffee maker rumbling in its corner and the omelet cooking slowly on the stove. Neither of them said a word, Jess too caught up in his own thoughts, or more precisely avoiding thinking, and Rory too confused, and maybe a little afraid of the result, to speak.

The silence continued during breakfast and it was making Rory more and more nervous, and when Jess got up and started rinsing off the plates she finally couldn't take it any longer. She had to know what he actually felt - be it good or bad.

"I know I should have told you as soon as I sent the application," she burst out. "I don't know why I didn't, and I'm really sorry. And I know you're angry at me for not telling you, but this attitude of yours is freaking me out. I just…want you to talk to me. Yell at me if you want, just please, tell me what you think."

Jess stilled for a moment as she started talking and then turned off the water, put away the plate and dried his hands on a towel before turning around to face her. "Do you even want to move here?" he asked evenly, his voice quiet.

"What?" Rory exclaimed, too surprised by his question to come up with an answer.

"You must have had some reason for not telling me," he shrugged. "I mean, it's not like I wouldn't have found out sooner or later, right?" With a short laugh he nodded his head towards the table and the letter and leaned back against the counter. "It just seems like a valid question."

Rory stared back at him in shock. "That's what you think?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

Jess shrugged again, his fears filling his mind, making it hard to think clearly. "When you planned your future career I doubt Philly was even in the back of your mind."

"So what?" she exclaimed defensively. "Just because I didn't plan to move here when I was ten I'm not allowed to now?"

"I never said you weren't allowed to," he pointed out, raising his voice impatiently. "I just wondered if it's what you want."

"How can you even ask me that?" Rory exclaimed, more hurt by his question than she'd have thought possible.

He could almost taste the still unanswered question hanging in the room between him, and it finally broke his façade, giving his old demons permission to roam freely. "It's not like you've denied it!" he growled.

"Well, what's the point?" she almost shouted, close to tears from frustration. "You've apparently already made up your mind!"

"Then unmake it for me!" he yelled back, his head spinning with thoughts he didn't know where they were coming from.

"Of course I want to move here!" she yelled back, finally unable to hold back her tears.

He watched her in silence, the tears running down her cheeks painfully obvious, and desperately wanted to say something to make them stop, but he was unable to get a single word out.

Angrily she wiped the tears away with the back of her hand before continuing, now barely above a whisper. "I have a plan somewhere in that pile of books of how to fit my stuff in with yours. I've got applications ready for every paper I could find in and around Philadelphia if I don't get a job at the _Inquirer_. I…" she faltered for a second. "I brought my favorite coffee mug."

Rooted to the spot he watched her run out of the kitchen, the loud bang as she flung the bedroom door closed reverberated through the apartment, making him flinch. He closed his eyes tightly before sliding down to the floor, his head resting against the cupboard.

* * *

He quietly opened the door to the bedroom and found her sitting cross legged in the middle of the bed, the comforter wrapped tightly around her. She had a book in her hand, but she was staring out in the air, obviously far away, and didn't notice the interruption.

For a couple minutes he just stood there, leaning against the doorframe and watched her. He noticed her hair was still rumpled from bed and that she had a red mark on her neck, just below her right ear and he closed his eyes, remembering how she had sounded when he made it.

He was interrupted by the faint sound of paper rustling when she suddenly seemed to come to life and looked up, her eyes finding him. For a moment her face lit up, only for her to immediately avert her eyes, looking down at her hands.

Jess sighed from his place and slowly detached himself from the doorframe, and walked up to the bed, sitting down in front of her. They sat in awkward silence, the room filling with a tension that none of them knew how to break.

Finally he couldn't take it anymore and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I don't want to screw this up again."

At the sound of his voice she snapped her head up in surprise, looking at him, shocked by what she saw. He had been crying. It was either that or he'd had some kind of allergic reaction, and she wasn't sure which one sounded most likely.

He closed his eyes, wanting to hide from her piercing eyes, but willed them opened a moment later, locking eyes with her again. "I love you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, and quickly continued when Rory opened her mouth. "Don't say anything yet, just listen, please."

She nodded automatically, still trying to process the last few moments.

"I love you," he repeated. "And I wasn't kidding when I said I hated this distance relationship thing. I want to wake up like I did this morning every day."

"But?" Rory couldn't help the word escaping her lips, suddenly afraid of what was coming.

Jess dropped his gaze to his hands, resting in his lap, and took a deep breath, finally voicing his fears. "What if we only work because of the distance?"

"What?" Rory stared at him in disbelief, unable to comprehend what she thought he'd just said.

Jess sighed. "I'm not good at relationships," he admitted quietly. "You of all people should know that. Hell, this is practically the only one I've ever had, and I've screwed it up so many times already."

"You're not making any sense," Rory said, narrowing her eyes at him in confusion.

He sighed. "I saw that letter and I panicked. And I realized I would rather only see you once a year than watch you walk out, knowing you were never coming back."

"So, what are you saying?" Rory asked cautiously, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

Jess shook his head helplessly. "I don't know. It just…I don't know if I'd be strong enough if I lost you again."

"What do you mean, strong enough?" Rory questioned, a slight hitch in her voice, and waited for him to say something. When he didn't she reached out a hand, tentatively placing it over one of his. "Jess, please, you're starting to scare me here."

His eyes staring blindly at their hands, Jess finally spoke. "After I went to your dorm, the first time, I got in my car and drove to New York. And I…it wasn't like I was trying to do anything, I just wasn't paying attention, and there was this truck…"

She watched him in horror, her eyes widening as he spoke, unable to even open her mouth.

Still refusing to look up, Jess slowly continued. "The driver honked and, I guess you could say he woke me up, and I swerved, and nothing happened. But the point is, I shouldn't have been driving at all, I shouldn't have even been in that car. I knew that, and I still got in."

"Jess," she managed to choke out, tugging at his hand, a single tear running down her cheek. "Please, look at me."

He swallowed hard, and looked up, meeting her gaze, the pain of once more having driven her to tears evident in his eyes. Slowly he raised his free hand to her cheek, gently wiping the tear away, and she leaned her head into him.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, caressing her cheek. "I shouldn't have dumped that on you."

Collecting her courage, Rory wet her lips. "So, why did you?"

"I don't know," Jess shrugged, dropping his hand, letting out a frustrated sigh. "I just…It feels like I can't spend more than a few days in the same place as you without doing something to drive you away."

Rory stared at him in disbelief, anger suddenly flaring in her eyes. "Stop that!"

"But…" he started, frowning at her unexpected outburst.

"No buts!" Rory exclaimed, throwing her arms out in exasperation. "You stay quiet, it's my turn to talk and you better listen."

Jess was about to say something again, but she silenced him with a glare.

"When are you gonna get into that thick head of yours that not everything that goes wrong is your fault! If anything, I'm as much to blame as you. And if something is driving us apart it's us _not_ being in the same place, not the other way around. Haven't you noticed that every time we fight it's because either of us have to be somewhere else?"

In the middle of her tirade, she had gotten up from the bed, and now she was pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed, emphasizing her words with wild arm gestures. Suddenly she stopped, staring straight at him, determination radiating from her body.

"I'm not going anywhere and I won't let you go either. Not again. And I am moving here, no matter what happens on Tuesday. I'll get whatever job I can find if I have to. As soon as I'm done with finals I'm coming here, and don't you dare try to stop me."

Out of breath she stood in place, staring at him, as if challenging him to try her. But Jess just sat on the bed; right where he had been when she got up, staring back at her, completely stunned.

"Ok," he finally said.

"Ok?" Rory questioned, somewhat lost when the fight she had been expecting wasn't happening.

Jess nodded. "Yeah."

Still not sure what to think, Rory slowly sat back down on the bed. "Just like that?"

"Well," Jess said with a shrug. "I guess you knocked some sense into my think head."

"Sorry," Rory said sheepishly, a faint blush spreading over her cheeks. "I might have gotten a little carried away."

"Don't be." His lips twitched into a smirk. "It was rather sexy."

"Jess!" Rory exclaimed, her eyes growing wide, cheeks now flaming.

His smirk grew as he watched her trying to hide her embarrassment. It always intrigued him how easy it was to make her so uncomfortable. But then he looked away for a second, becoming serious again.

"So, you're moving in." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah," she agreed.

Jess nodded. "Ok." Then he reached out a hand to her. "C'mere."

Rory looked down at his outstretched hand for a moment before quickly accepting it, closing her fingers tightly around his. Her hand in a secure grip, Jess tugged on her arm, drawing her up on her knees, slowly guiding her towards him.

When she was close enough, he wound his other arm around her back, pushing her flush against him, and captured her lips with his own. Slowly they explored each others mouths, her hands inevitably finding their way into his hair, pressing him even closer.

Gradually he shifted his hold on her, lowering them down onto the mattress, until he was hovering above her, running his tongue along her lower lip, and smoothing her hair out of her face.

An eternity later she pulled away, head spinning and lips tingling, and slowly opened her eyes. "I'll never get tired of that," she mumbled, a little out of breath.

"Good," Jess whispered against her lips, opening his eyes to look down at her.

With a sigh she kissed him back, but pulled back again when the kisses started getting more urgent. "Jess," she said, trying to compose herself. "We really should…"

"Later," he muttered, trailing kisses down her neck.

She let out a moan as he passed over an especially sensitive spot, and almost gave in. But then she took a deep breath, gently pushing his head up to a safe distance. "At the very least we have to discuss your driving habits," she said, cringing as she did.

At her words Jess groaned, collapsing half on top of her. "That's twice today," he muttered.

"I'm sorry," she said apologetically. "But I really think we should talk."

"Fine," he sighed, hoisting himself up and moving so he was sitting at the edge of the bed. "But I need a shower first.

"Oh," Rory mumbled, starting to feel guilty as she watched him take a deep breath and rub a hand over his face.

"A long, cold one," he added, standing up, walking towards the door. At the threshold he stopped. "And don't think I won't make you pay me back." Then he left the room and Rory groaned, cursing her head for being so practical.


End file.
